To be honest, I hate being sober. As addictions go, I’m probably I’m probably not that bad. (From what I read) I only really drank once every (other) week. Did a bunch of cocaine too. Guess I hate being a drunk asshat more.
But when I do, I can’t control myself as to limit how much. It’s like I need to be drunk, as fast as possible.
Turns out I’m diabetic now. And that it’s worsening quite quickly. In my sobriety. Cholesterol problems too. Been depressed for over 2 decades. Nothing really ever works.
I just feel like, what’s the point? If it wasn’t for my kid I’d probably… you know.
Guess I’m a little low at the moment and needed to write it off…
Tbh, I hate drunk me. Really, drunk me was in the end a poor miserable victim of the circumstances. The fun part was long over. I replaced it by running to the grocery store each afternoon after work to get my fix aka 1 bottle of wine.
I don’t like sober life every day, nooo way. It’s the only way for me to handle my life now and to enjoy life and have full laughs at work.
Hang in there! And don’t be an asshat. Kiddos grow up fast and pick up on the things we do. You are worth the change yourself but if you need a boost think about what you want to represent to your child. You will get there!
I hope not more time to drink or catch up on quantity. Stick around here and maybe have a look a the gratitude thread. It can change your mind and shift your thoughts of losing sth to sth more what a gift sobriety can be.
Hi. I like your honesty. Sometimes being sober sucks. I think being a drunk asshole sucks more, though.
I am sorry that your health is like it is. That must be about scary for you.
Glad you are here.
I’m glad you found this forum. It’s a great way to support your sobriety. Just not drinking doesn’t define sobriety. What else are you doing to support long term sobriety and getting to the root cause of why you use alcohol and cocaine? There are lots of resources on the forum to check out. Welcome to TS!
Hi @Breek,
Welcome! Good you came here to vent, we all need a place where we feel understood and find help and company.
Yea, sometimes being buzzed feels like a comfortable shortcut for coping with life. On second thought it leads … nowhere. Not to relief, not to cope with anxiety, not to mend depression.
On the contrary, it leads to brutal hangovers worsening every shit in life, more depression and anxiety and as a bonus you poison your body with a neuro- and cytotoxine which devastes your already struggling body.
Nothing to say about cocaine, I never used it.
Read around, there are good sources to overcome and deal with struggles.
For sure you’re not alone.
We have all had a miserable time and suffered at the hands of addiction, recovery is one of the only places where you will find common ground with people from different places and different ways of life, we dont judge and the only time we look down is when we are helping someone to their feet.
Being sober and living day by day is true freedom.
