Sober on my own. No AA


#1

Let me just start in saying that in no way am I against AA. It works for so many people and i don’t intend to discredit it.
I have been sober 5 months now. I was a pretty severe alcoholic and i tried multiple times to quit over the last 5 years. My longest streak before today was 30 days. Quitting is hard. I spent 5 years of relapsing constantly. I kept hitting new rock bottoms every time i would fall off the wagon. I don’t know what epiphany occurred that made this time stick but it’s a testament to never giving up quitting. If you mess up, get right back on the wagon. Eventually you’ll get the hang of it.

AA didn’t work for me for a number of reasons. I successfully became sober all on my own. I think because i really just wanted control of my life back. Control is my higher power. I think for me, admitting you’re powerless over your addiction is relinquishing control. My higher power is me. I know I’m better than being an addict. Alcohol was controlling me but now i control it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s hard. But I’m not powerless. It takes a lot of perseverance and a lot of grit to remember every day that I’m the one in control. Every day that goes by it becomes easier. Like any exercise routine. No one starts off doing 200 pushups. You get stronger the more you practice. In bodybuilding, they say you do repetitions until 'failure ’ meaning your body cannot do another single movement. Failure is important. It let’s you know where your limits are. Giving up drinking took a lot of failure for me but every time i gave it another try, i got stronger. So keep trying. Keep pushing.


#2

Excellent job…I’m a week away from 7 months sober myself. I researched AA. Success rate is only 5-10%.


#3

Hey whatever works. It’s not about winning anything other than your life back, Right?

Keep us posted on how it’s going!


#4

Welcome. Congrats on 5 months sober. Glad you aren’t bashing AA, or any other structured program. Some folks need that structure, and some need the fellowship that these programs offer.

I am in introvert. I recharge by myself, and find strength in my faith-based self. But everyone isn’t me. Some draw strength from others. We call those “extroverts”.

Now I’ve committed to myself that if I ever relapse, I will try AA. As long as what I am doing is working, there’s little reason to change. No “compelling reason to act”. However, should what I am currently doing prove insufficient to maintaining sobriety, then my next step is AA. I know it works, because it’s working for so many people here.

Keep pushing. Fail forward. I agree, 100%


#5

I believe the statistic you cite is less a commentary on the efficacy of AA, and more an indication of the individual commitment to sobriety that the attendees have. I am sure that if you were to research all “methods” you’d find inpatient and out-patient rehabs, and “individual grit” have similar results. Really, it comes down to the individual. Everything else is a tool.


#7

Even if the percent is 5 to 10 (it’s not), I’ll take it because I was zero percent without it :laughing::laughing::laughing: glad your here and great job doing what works for you. After all, that is 100 percent important. And thanks for not posting anything negative about it. We are here to support one another, not judge. Your doing great and I love hearing stories like this.


#8

Congratulations on your 5 months. AA isn’t for everyone, but it helps a lot of people, which is great. I have never been to AA, but I might try it if I ever feel the need. I think every person and every journey is different, so whatever works for you is what you should do. Just passed 11 months sober, my year is next up!


#9

I’d hit like but I’ve run out and I have bad credit.
:fist:t3::fist:t3::fist:t3:


#10

This is me hitting like.


#11

Good on ya at 11 months! Did you ever think you’d get there?


#12

No, I never did think I would. I have been drinking since I was 16…I turn 57 next week…my drinking career was 40 years!


#13

Whew! You’re inspiring - you know that?
Thanks for sharing :fist:t3::fist:t3:


#14

Thanks. It feels pretty good.


#15

well done on 5 months great achievment ,AA isnt for everyone but for me it saved my life been going now for 31+years when i got sober there wasnt any were else to go everyone have agood day


#16

I also have not tried AA and don’t plan to. I know it works for some, including two of my siblings (both sober for 20+years) but for me… it’s not a good fit. I’ve been sober for 77 days now. I haven’t told my story on here yet, it’s actually quite dull, lol. My decision to quit was just basically having had enough, a desire for better health and to excuse myself from the lie of alcohol in my life. My new husband still drinks, in front of me, we still have alcohol in the house (obviously), but none of that has been an issue for me. I have read several books that have helped along the way and I LOVE this group! The kind words, encouragement, acceptance and life stories have been a great help to me. Without all you fabulous people I really don’t think I would have stuck with it. You’re the best, stay sober, however you get there and remain free. :smiley:


#17

Congrats, whatever works for the individual is the right choice.

I read the big book and agree with your stance: I have the power, not my DOC.

Keep doing you!


#18

I got sober with AA but with work and personal travel I don’t get to attend AA meetings as often now.

I still work the program. I don’t feel powerless anymore, but I once did, AA has helped me regain the power and educated me to know if I ever drank again I could potentially lose it all again.

My higher power is my moral compass, my knowledge, right judgement and wisdom all gained from experience and enhanced by the experience of fellow addicts.

I get that mostly from here now given my travels but I practice my program daily and it works.

Delighted you are progressing with or without AA, we all have the same goal of healthy sobriety.


#19

I have tried just about everything, including AA, and nothing worked for me until I finally decided I was ready to quit. Sometimes I was mentally ready but not physically, other times it was the other way around. I think any program would have worked for me once I reached the point that I knew I wanted to quit and was ready. AA is a great program but it is not the only way to become sober. Anyone who says you need to go to AA to get sober is implying that all of the alcoholics that existed before AA was formed were doomed and had no hope of sobriety. I’m sure there were many people throughout history that managed to achieve sobriety before an official group was created. We all have the same goal in mind and that is why I enjoy reading everyone’s own personal journey to get there.


#20

I also have had success without AA. I’m 239 days clean. I thought a lot about trying AA and I could never really get on board. I was fortunate enough to spend well over three months in an incredible OPP and I give a ton of credit to that group. If I had only been dealing with the alcohol I may have gone a different road, but surviving the hell of withdrawal from benzos has given me a different outlook on my sobriety. I barely survived my detox and the months immediately following were so much worse than I could have ever imagined. I know I can’t ever go through that again! Making it through seems to have flipped a switch in my brain. The answer is always, ALWAYS no, I can’t pick alcohol because I will need a Xanax in the morning to deal with the effects of drinking.

This is not to say that I would never go to a meeting. I have actually been thinking about going to one just so I can be around other people who have fought or are fighting the same demons. I’m just not into the structure of AA. I’ve done a ton of work in therapy that covers all the steps in one way or another. I know people who do AA, some who live and breathe it and others who only go when they need to. I’m so glad these people have found what they need!

I think for me being able to do things my way is number one. Even when I was in school I hated the structure of public education and did extremely well in homeschool. I keep AA in my toolbox, I just haven’t had to use it yet.

Does anyone else here wish there were some kind of meetings of sober people who just want to connect with other sober people without the stigma of AA?


#21

Have you looked into SMART recovery?? I guess they have a big online presence and meetings. Some peeps here have good things to say about it:)