Let me just start in saying that in no way am I against AA. It works for so many people and i don’t intend to discredit it.
I have been sober 5 months now. I was a pretty severe alcoholic and i tried multiple times to quit over the last 5 years. My longest streak before today was 30 days. Quitting is hard. I spent 5 years of relapsing constantly. I kept hitting new rock bottoms every time i would fall off the wagon. I don’t know what epiphany occurred that made this time stick but it’s a testament to never giving up quitting. If you mess up, get right back on the wagon. Eventually you’ll get the hang of it.
AA didn’t work for me for a number of reasons. I successfully became sober all on my own. I think because i really just wanted control of my life back. Control is my higher power. I think for me, admitting you’re powerless over your addiction is relinquishing control. My higher power is me. I know I’m better than being an addict. Alcohol was controlling me but now i control it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s hard. But I’m not powerless. It takes a lot of perseverance and a lot of grit to remember every day that I’m the one in control. Every day that goes by it becomes easier. Like any exercise routine. No one starts off doing 200 pushups. You get stronger the more you practice. In bodybuilding, they say you do repetitions until 'failure ’ meaning your body cannot do another single movement. Failure is important. It let’s you know where your limits are. Giving up drinking took a lot of failure for me but every time i gave it another try, i got stronger. So keep trying. Keep pushing.