51 days sober from alcohol and I’m beginning to realize how much drinking helped me cover up the emotions and thoughts I should have been dealing with at the time they originated … now many many months later my mind is reminding me of the thoughts and emotions I had drowned out. I’m literally driving myself crazy and I don’t know how to deal with them. I have tried writing, tried taking to a counselor, even tried communicating with the person who is on the other side of these thoughts but that ended in no replies, and straight up acting like I never said anything. My thoughts and feelings aren’t being recognized and they are just eating away at me, waking me up from sleeping, and creating all around bad energy. It sucks to say but I really miss them being covered up and have a big urge to drink the away… fortunately that won’t happen. But the urge is there and it is strong and all I find myself doing is wanting to cry. Has anyone else when becoming sober realized that their drinking was covering up much deeper issues? Any ideas on what to do to help?
-just want to erase my mind-
Congratulations on your 51 days… I am at 18 and have been super lonely and without my daughter for the first time. I have spent my time isolated in the house as I am not super comfortable in my own skin just yet. I do get out and take walks thru out the day and that has been very helpful. I also just keep reading to occupy my mind… Anything and everything I can download to distract me… I am in the process of finding a new dr as well who isn’t going to over medicate me into a zombie for my issues. It’s a hard balance… I will say this I do feel stronger and see a light at the end of the tunnel now that the alcohol is out of my system… Stay strong and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers…
I noticed that every time I got pushed emotionally into some level of stress, I see myself looking for some getaway. I’ve been doing it unwittingly as far as I can remember. Numb, oblivious to myself. but the truth is, we can’t run away from ourselves. Sooner or later we have to face it. It may bring about dramatic change, a crisis will rise! But that’s for the good. I know it’s gonna worth it. We are coming out from the shadows finally. I don’t know if you feel the same way, but if we are here reaching out for help, and willing to change, that sets a whole new way of being. And I feel like I don’t even fit in anymore to the old ways. We’ve already took a step forward, we’re already going through the transformation. Just keep on moving. Good luck to you!
Oh yes, i can totally relate to you! Youre not alone there by any means. For me, My therapist ended up diagnosing me with anxiety and depression, well the psych dr did… Not saying you have either of those, thats just my experience is all. Going to my therapist helped me insanely. Just talking about things and getting them off my chest was a reliefe honestly. I Also started going to AA meetings until i started to feel a little better. Im a regular AA member today. AA has been a life saver for me! Once i started to really listen, have an open mind, got some willingness, started talking, it was great. I found a sponsor and started working the steps, which has been a lot of help for me! Doing step work is helping me work through so many things. Things i didnt even know that we’re bothering me! Things i didnt know needed worked on. What a life saver. I’ve also done what is called IOP - intensive outpatient program. Its like a group thing for addicts and alcoholics. I dont know if youd be interested in something like that. Also, find a hobby. What are things you like to do? And if you dont know, bc i didnt know when i first got sober, try new things. I recently posted on here and it was suggested that i get a new healthy habbit to replace the old bad habbit. Made since to me…
And as far as talking to the person about whats going on. They may not have known how to respond to you… They may not give tou the answer your looking for either. Id talk with my therapist abput it further.
So all in all, my suggestions would be, try some new things and get a new hobby or continue an old healthy one. Try a few AA meetings, not just 1 bc the first one is always a lil uncomfortable bc you dont know what to expect. See your therapist regularly or more frequent than you are. Stay in touch here on the forum, theres a lot of support here. Write more. Listen to music. Go for a drive or walk. And last but not least, give yourself TIME to feel better physically and mentally! Time takes time unfortunately…
Hope this helps. If you need to talk im always around. And remember, its Just for Today!