A cold day but a lovely one nonetheless. Glad I got out and rode myself and my bike around. Did a tour that’s a tradition by now: visited Luna’s little grave, rode west , took a ferry across the Noordzeekanaal and shopped groceries at the organic growers and grocers at the western edge of town. Got some sun in my face and some good late winter (and some very early spring) produce in my bike bags. Snow expected for tomorrow, I don’t need to be out then. Feeling good today. Will try to feel good tomorrow too. Love.
12 Likes
So, yesterday I visited a bar in my home town to watch a band. It was my 3rd live music event since I decided to go sober and it was potentially the most difficult so far. Both me and my partner agreed that it was a potential trigger so we made a plan to not spend much time in there other than watching the band. She gave me the option of swerving it altogether… but I wasn’t gonna do that. Giving up live music is non negotiable in my sobriety - the 17 months without it during COVID were a bad state of hell! So I’ve got to make this work.
The bar in question is an old haunt of mine and I also DJd there between 2008 and 2016 and during my working period there I also frequented the place too. Some weeks I was there every day. I’d pack the place out every Friday and Saturday nights with my DJ sets. I was a bit of a celebrity in there I could get away with whatever I wanted to. I knew almost everyone who came in. I wouldn’t just raise hell, I’d raise FUCKING hell in that place. 
My behaviour would give Lemmy and Ozzy a run for their money. Which is why getting through yesterday’s visit was fairly daunting. I’m proud of getting through it, though. It’s one more mental hurdle overcome. Maybe next time I have to see a band there I can have the confidence to briefly hang around and catch up with old friends. We’ll see.
Go me! 
9 Likes
Two sides to that story I feel. Of course congrats on making it through, good you talked about it to your partner beforehand and you had an escape plan. On the other hand: avoiding this one gig wasn’t like giving up live music altogether is it? You’re still relatively early in your sobriety and recovery. No reason to test your strength, and triggers are better avoided. Exposure is discredited tactic to follow. Anyway, on we go. One day at a time for all of us. Glad you are sober and here friend.
7 Likes
I wouldn’t go so far as to compare myself to an arachnophobe handling spiders but I needed to exorsise that demon last night. I’ll try not to get too complacent. I didn’t even frequent the place regularly pre-sobriety, only for bands maybe 2 or 3 times per year. When I left the place in 2016 I went to work for a rival bar and it left a bit of bad blood so I mostly boycotted the place after that.
3 Likes
121 days smoke free, 100 days binge eating free, back to day 1 snacking free.
I had to reset my snacking timer yesterday. Binging always started with snacking. I am glad I did not let snacking become a full binge eating episode yesterday.
It made me realize that 100 days binge eating free don`t mean I´m done with food binging. The snacking slip is a huge warning sign for me. I see and understand it, very clearly. I will care for myself and my eating behaviour with more attention and love again, starting NOW.
I know we can do it, we can overcome harming ourselves and we can love ourselves. ODAAT.
Have a peaceful day everyone 
10 Likes
Checking in
I’m realizing after my recent relapse that I’m just a body filled with neurons and that I deserve to feel all the things in my life, for me. There’s love and power and so many feelings inside of me without any HP involved, and without other people giving me anything. It’s just me in here. It feels like I’m maiming myself and my inherent me-ness by ingesting this poison that numbs. Having a hard time writing it out but I’m feeling sad for what I’ve done to myself and empowered by the realization that I can do this for myself.
13 Likes
Hey everyone, I am more than happy to announce that I GOT THAT JOB!!!
Starting in June. Until then I’ll be sooooo enjoying my free time.
19 Likes
Congratulations 
enjoy your spring time off until you start 
2 Likes
Congratulations. Well done! 
2 Likes
Excellent work, congrats Daniela!
1 Like
Thank you so much everyone!
2 Likes
Congratulations, my friend! Although I don’t know what’s the job because I was away from here some time. But that sounds awesome! And it’s so great that you can enjoy your spring before the start. Enjoy!
1 Like
Whoop whoop! Doing good and getting paid for it? Priceless!
1 Like
Congratulations Daniela!
1 Like
My counselor has to update my treatment plan every few months, and one of the questions she always has to ask me is “Is your religion in any way helping you through your recovery process” and it’s like a “not at all” through “extremely” type of answer and I always just say “somewhat” because I don’t have a religion. Definitely not one I “use” in my recovery. I’d say I’m spiritual, I guess? I like nature. But I find myself running into that same issue a lot. So many programs are religion based and I’ve never been religious.
9 Likes
I’m atheist since I was a teenager but now that I recognize my alcoholism, and started attending AA… I saw their beliefs are the cornerstone of their recovery. I’m respectful but I can’t cheat myself despite the fact I want to continue attending the meetings.
Greetings from Florida.
3 Likes
Welcome to TS Summer! I’m glad you joined us and I hope you’ll find some support here. I sure have. The bias in this question in your treatment plan would seriously annoy me TBH. I t does so from a distance actually. I’m lucky to live in a country where this sort of phrasing would not be tolerated.
There are many peer support programs not based on religion or so called spirituality or doing the 12 steps these days. SMART, Buddhist Based, many different secular ones. Talking Sober has been my main support group for the last 6.5 years. There’s many options, but the 12 step approach still has a big predominance in face-to-face and online meetings in the western world, especially in the USA. But there’s alternatives. Anyway. Happy to see you here, wishing you all success lady. We’re in this together.
6 Likes
Hey All
Very new to this world and to TS. Very glad to have found this thread.
Looking forward to a good read and meeting some like minded people
7 Likes
Welcome Skel, glad you found us
3 Likes
This is so kind, thank you so much 
I’ve struggled to find the right kind of support, so I’m really excited and encouraged by what I’ve found here so far 
I’ll look into some of the programs you mentioned! Can I ask what country you’re in? I’m obviously in the US where religion is engrained in everything lol
2 Likes