Try now…
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Interesting; what came to mind when reading the first few paragraphs, is the blue book and is it ‘bills story’ that writes of the spiritual malady? Is that what you can’t talk about in this group; spiritual? 
thanks so much for taking the time to find and post 
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I do love that rainbow colored demon though 
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I think this wonderful pic posted by @waywardwanderer in the Higher Power God thread goes well in here too:
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Funny 
Thanks menno!! This is really awesome to think of it as discovery! That is a really good way to put it. I’m discovering so many things in the last 15 or 16 months. The possibilities of life and what I can do is really awesome but at the same time can be overwhelming. It’s hard to explain. I’m discovering technology type things that make my life better that I didn’t know about, I’m discovering that I like cooking, I’m discovering places that I would like to travel to and will be able to soon enough, I’m discovering who I really am as a person, and I have discovered most importantly that I don’t need drugs or alcohol to feel peace or celebrate or deal with any problems
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I love this and agree. Just an expression my friends “Amen”
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Did a long car drive yesterday up to my parents place.
During the drive I was doing some thinking on “higher power” (I’m trying to do the 12 steps but have been very much stuck on step 2!) 
The last few weeks I’ve been trying to figure out what it is that I can believe in. Religion and deistic belief does not do it for me…
I thought maybe nature or maybe the universe could be something I used as my HP, but reading around them I was getting caught up by the use of “intelligence” regarding nature, and the “spirit of the universe”.
I was interpreting “intelligence” as a quality that someone would have so that felt like it was taking it back to a deistic/religious, intelligent creator kinda vibe that I found a bit off-putting, and the “spirit of the universe” again started feeling too extraterrestrial.
Then as I was driving, I was trying to rethink the “intelligence” in nature, and that got me thinking about DNA, and that got me thinking about evolution.
In nature, everything evolves. It naturally mutates and changes to its environment to try and become better, healthier, stronger. I believe in evolution. So I think evolution could well be my higher power…
Sobriety can be seen as the evolution from insanity to sanity, from living against my morals and core values, to living a healthy fulfilling life.
Recovery is my evolution, where I become better, healthier, and stronger.
Evolution is a power greater than myself, I can’t control it. It just happens.
How can it restore me to sanity? By believing in evolution, I am believing that it’s possible to change my ways. I am believing that I can evolve, that I can be sober.
Once I’d thought that all through, it felt amazing. I had like a surge of joy. It felt like all my thinking around step 2 had just clicked into place and suddenly made sense when before I was second guessing myself, getting all frustrated because I felt like even secular ideas of a higher power were getting dragged back to religion. It felt great. I’ve been in a brilliant mood since then, it feels like a weight has been lifted!
Hope everyone is having a wonderful day, and apologies if the ramble became a bit too rambley! 
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Evolution is a ‘power’ greater than our ‘selves’ I agree … by you not drinking alcohol, you are allowing that ‘power’ to flourish in you 
. On the other hand, is alcohol controlling you, and in evolutionary terms, progresses negatively. Be better everyday
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With respect to any one working their sobriety using the 12 steps, personally I don’t need a higher power in my recovery. I need connection to my fellow human beings. I need to know we’re in it together. I need to know I’m not alone. I need to work on myself, better myself, and I need a wide variation of tools to do that work. For me the purpose of AA and any 12 step based group is community, the group itself. And to me forming a community of peers is why it works.
As a staunch non-believer in any deity of any sort, and as a humanist, a higher power, any higher power, is nonsense. It’s me who has to do the work, with the help of other humans, together with my fellows in recovery. There’s no higher power, there’s no god. That’s all just human fabrication.
I know there is a considerable group of non-believers in AA and other 12 step groups and I wish them all success but personally I can not wrap my head around how they do it. In the 12 steps the words God, Him, and Higher Power, are mentioned nine times. All with a capital. I read the Big Book (more capitals). More than once. To me it’s a very old fashioned evangelical text. Read chapters 4 and 8 to begin with, and form your own opinion.
Anyway, I’m not here to give a comprehensive critique of AA. I’m just trying to explain why it’s not for me. This thread is specifically aimed at people who don’t use god or a higher power in their recovery (see the first post for that).
I’m not a Buddhist but I very much prefer Buddhist Recovery, which states in the opening of any meeting that the road it offers towards personal recovery is but one way. I am finding my own way and my toolbox includes stuff I found in many places. Groups, therapy, self help, internet, face to face. We’re in it together. Love.
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You can believe or think whatever you want. And truthfully I respect your honesty and how you stay true to your beliefs. Anybody that gets bent out of shape because you don’t do AA or they have a problem with your beliefs is because it makes them question their own thinking or makes them wonder if maybe they want to explore other ways to stay sober. There is many ways to stay sober or help with sobriety. AA does not have a monopoly on Recovery and it actually says that in the book..There is a lot of things in the book that people overlook or forget about. but Unfortunately there is people in this world that want to stir shit up because they are bored And dissatisfied with their own life and choices. Always grateful for your shares and posts and glad you are here menno!!
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Thanks for this, I hope I didn’t come across too higher power pushy in my post!
I totally get that everyone is different and what works for some won’t work for others.
For background, I had already been sober for 3 months before I first went to SAA, and only started trying to do the steps when I got to about 10-11 months of sobriety.
I’m still not 100% sure it’s the right thing for me as I do feel like I keep getting stuck on the amount of Him/Higher Power/God chat that’s thrown around, but I’ve been trying to interpret it all in a way that sits right with me. For example, connection as you mention could be interpreted as a “higher power”. (That’s not me telling you that’s what it is, just trying to think about it from a 12 step angle)
I think the steps, broadly speaking, seem to be a good way to work through our issues, so I’m giving them a crack. If I get to the point where I feel they just aren’t working then that’s okay, but we’ll see how it goes!
I definitely agree with you though, that connection and support from other addicts is hugely important.
I have been wondering whether the higher power thing is just a bit of a tool to take some of the pressure off recovery, let some of the stresses & anxieties go and focus on doing some good in life.
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Hi
Thank you for sharing your experiences. I also believe that alcoholism is specific to each alcoholic. Personally, I know that it´s up to me to manage it. The AA community isn’t right for me. However, the Talking Sober platform really gives me that extra boost I need, which has helped me reach the milestone of one week sober. I’ve known for years that I needed to stop drinking, but I couldn’t do it. I tried self-hypnosis and mindfulness exercises, but each time I succumbed to the urge to drink. I couldn’t let go of the idea of being carefree. Drinking alcohol wasn’t such a big deal after all. In fact, I didn’t dare face the seriousness of quitting drinking completely.
Reading the testimonials here from alcoholics who have been abstinent for years, always vigilant, showed me that alcoholism is really serious and that I will never be safe from it again. For me, stopping drinking means stopping being a coward. It means moving forward in life without necessarily knowing what is holding me back, but just courageously moving forward and not caring if my weaknesses are exposed. It means choosing to overcome my own shame, choosing to live my life. With alcohol, I was clearly missing out.
Tonight is my 16th day sober. I like the ODAAT principle, as AA has some very good ideas. I want to be able to make more ambitious plans and be able to carry them out. But I need to feel better to do that.
Enjoy a good sober evening, everyone!
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Day 8 and feeling fantastic, upbeat and ready.
I have accomplished so much these last 2 days up at the allotment.
Ive seen the last of our swallows that were nesting in our shed leave to go off to warmer climates.
From the allotment alone Ive had cauliflowers, cabbages, potatoes, sweetcorn, carrots, swedes, french beans, runner beans, broard beans, onions, shallots, spring onions, lettuces, tomatoes, cucumbers, aubergines, beetroot, parsnips, apples, pears, peas, sweet peas, dahlias and brambles.
Its hard to believe that I carried most of these up there way back in the year as tiny seeds.
Overall its been a good season and being up there especially on a morning just makes ypu appreciate nature.
Hope you all have a good day today.
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Day 15
Feeling good about being sober.
Filling the hours I previously spent drinking up with gardening, reading, hot baths, dog walking, reconnecting with family.
Listening to quit lit audiobooks and planning for the weeks/months ahead.
Constantly reading on here.
Ive found that Im listening to people better.
Im consciously eating healthier and seeing positive results.
I have a lot going on in my personal life at the minute and stopping drinking enables me to handle that better and to be there for others.
Best wishes everyone.
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