I just achieved my 3 day milestone; it feels like 30…
My addiction relates to online behavior with women, but there are addictions of all kinds here I’m sure.
So far, I haven’t gone a day without being triggered. All social media is triggering; association with certain coworkers is triggering; everything seems to be triggering…
It’s amazing that I’ve made it 4 days by now.
I need to make some adjustments, to avoid those triggers; I hope that I can do that.
Well done on 3 days @EthanHunt! 
I can’t speak to your addiction in particular but I can speak in terms of addiction in general. Avoiding triggers is key and also, as someone once told me, is avoiding “white knuckling” it. Have you sought any guidance about how to kick your specific addiction? As in how to retrain your brain? Is professional help a possibility for you? In the early days of kicking any addiction, the thoughts can be all consuming and wear you down. For me it meant finding something to occupy my mind until I could go to bed early. Once I started feeling a little bit of control, I read and journaled and meditated and exercised and did “all the things”.
I don’t know what a plan looks like for you but I know you can find one!
Thank you so much for the encouragement!
I was fortunate enough to find an ally recovering from my particular addiction, and he is willing to walk with me on my journey.
I hope that this will be helpful to me.
Meanwhile, any support; all support is gonna be needed.
Welcome Ethan
Congratulations on your 3 days.
Thank you so much!
4 days is crazy when they’re hard days. Keep it up, deliberately practice getting stronger everyday, no days off.
Always, always, always remember: Your strength will eventually outgrow the addiction because while you’re training, it’s dying and eventually it will be this tiny little thing you wondered how you ever let control you. Don’t let that fool you though, it grows back like warts and it’s not to be played with. But you’ll do it, sounds like you want it.
This analogy is great, I’m going to use it 
Hi Ethan!
Hoping it’s going well for you right now. 
Wow, these are great words…
I really need this.
I will really try to keep them in mind going forward; thank you!
I really appreciate your support 
…
Well, I had to reset my streak today. I let my thoughts get the better of me, and I haven’t developed any new patterns yet.
My ally and I are going to have a talk about it.
I feel really bad; it stinks to fail, when I was actually trying.
But, to be fair, I did make it a whole week; and for me, that’s not nothing.
Thanks again for the support!
Remember you’re developing a muscle and it can give out, snap, tear, just fail in some way - mostly importantly it can grow huge. You’re learning to strengthen it, its proper range of motion, how to recover, and pick up the weights of life again every day. That you had a streak at all should tell you what’s possible. You got this.
Hey Man, incredible job to own it and be ready to go again. You are doing something really hard, focus on what you can learn to make it through the hard times this time.
You got this
Thank you both for the super encouraging words!
I talked with my ally about my actions and he gave me some suggestions. Interestingly, among other things, he suggested that I start a hobby.
I like to read, and so a few years ago, I started working on a book, just for fun. I decided to take that up again…
I have to admit, just reading over what I had already worked on was a pretty enjoyable diversion…
Thanks again for the support!
(For my particular addiction, he also suggested that I delete ALL my socials and online chat accounts for the time being… I hesitated on that one, but I did it - I hope to God I don’t die of boredom!)
We were just talking last night in my AA group about how we expected to be bored without the booze.
We could not see then what we can see now. Bored is the last descriptor that applies to sobriety!
I’m so glad to hear you say that!
Thanks!
Hobby’s are great, getting sucked into that can be huge. I deleted all socials too. Even if I followed only things about cool desktop wallpapers, nature, and stuff I still saw porn and thirst traps whether it was trending or “for me”. On YouTube I block thumbnails, recommendations, comments, all that stuff. I generally don’t accidentally see porn on YouTube but I also don’t want to be distracted. I only want to go on for like a handful of things: podcasts, comedy, fixing my car, educational stuff and music, and I know exactly where to go without any algorithmic assistance. This way I’m doing the thinking and choosing for the most part.
That’s cool; I hope to get to that point…
My ally said that, right now, I’m like a toddler running around a hot stove. I have no capacity to make the safe choice. I need a child barrier around the stove, to keep me completely away, until I know better and can do better.
Based on the life story I shared with him, my ally said, “Don’t be surprised if it takes you a long time to feel normal”…
I appreciate you; your commentary has been super encouraging.
Yeah I used to think blockers took the responsibility away from you but I understand how they might be necessary in the beginning. It’s kind of like you’re in a storm and you just have to take shelter, regroup and plan before you go back out there to get to the good place. Might take while, might not be a lot to work with where you stopped. And next time you go back out you might have to retreat, rethink your plan and try again. But lots of people have done it.
Honestly of all the things people quit, I bet this one has the highest success rate because only people who really mean it actually even notice it’s a problem, and eventually they get there. It’s not talked about a lot though, so thanks for joining and trying to figure it out with us, seems like largely uncharted territory as far as addictions go.
I appreciate you, truly…
And, I appreciate this community; it’s very supportive.
Over the decades, I have made a lot of harmful choices surrounding relationships with women; some that have almost cost me my marriage.
Unfortunately, viewing harmful content is definitely not the worst of my poor choices (not even my online choices)…
But, it is a consistent trigger for me.
Thank you for your great encouragement.
Knowledge is power @EthanHunt. Maybe hearing that it would take a while to feel normal was not what you wanted to hear. But at least you know there is a place that you can get to instead of wondering, how long will I feel this way? I am rooting for you! 
