Sobriety isn't 30, 60, 90

Life in Recovery
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For me, sobriety isnt 30/60/90. Its today. Its the quality of what I am doing today. Its reacting to today, and ending the day with your head on your pillow sober.

There are those that the day they got sober immediately saw the excuses for what they are…I still struggle with that. Yes I work a program like I am suppose to do, and its still a struggle. Will I ever be a “model” of sobriety, probably not. My alcoholism still talks to me.

Today is hard, I still want to be numbed, I still can’t make amends, I still cant forgive myself. But I wont drink. Sobriety, for me is about today…and I will not drink.

Today I prayed. I asked God to deliver what I need, not what I want. I drove to a meeting. That is what will keep me sober today. If I can do that, enough times…I give myself a chance to make amends to Thomas. I have no idea what that will be. Honestly, that cant be a concern today. When God thinks I am ready it will happen. I don’t know if I will ever be able to forgive myself for not bringing him home. That isnt a concern today. When God thinks I am ready, it will happen. I have to stay sober today, to give myself a chance for it to happen.

I cant change the past. I cannot make the future be what i want. I can be sober today, and give myself a chance at a sober tomorrow.

If you are struggling, remember that the only way anything gets better is by fighting and being sober today. Do that enough times you will hit 30/60/90. Do it enough times, and you will find serenity and peace with life.

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Thank you for sharing this. I always need reminding that today is the most important day. Keep doing what you do sir.

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Real AF right here.

Thank you, @anon46927530. :heart:

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If I ever think I do sobriety right, someone better smack me, bc that means I am on the road to relapse.

For me, each day I have to earn my sobriety. My alcoholism wants me dead but will settle today to try and make me as miserable as possible to soften me up so that it can kill me. I have no illusion. I don’t want one or two or three. I want to numb all the shit swirling around inside me. I don’t want to feel anything.

I am glad it stands there taunting me each day. But it is a blessing b/c it means I don’t forget it’s there. It means that I generally remember to pray, to ask God to remove or show me how to overcome this shit (the anger, fear, selfpity, resentment, anxiety, ego…) that blinds me to his will and being of service to another other alcoholic. It means I remember to talk to other drunks each day. It means saying yes to help others before my brain says no. It means caring about someone else that isn’t me. Above all else it means not drinking no matter what…

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This was a great share!!!

This resonated with me vastly. Thank you.