It’s been a while!!! And my first time posting lol
I’m nervous, guilty, ashamed but also feel I’m taken advantage of. It’s complicated! I had 10 years sober,never worked a program just stopped because my first year of drinking at age 27 I got a dui 
and put my lil ones through that . That kept me sober for 10 years. My husband is extremely controlling but means well . Great dad,provider, just a well structured man. And he is against alcohol 100 so that the number one rule. No alcohol for me or him ever . So i relapsed 08/2020 a year after having baby boy number 7 ! I was just tired ! Felt like I was there and nobody cared for me . Got my shit together and got sober again. Now comes 05/2024 I had another relapse drinking 3 glasses of wine. Then 4 for times drinking a couple of glasses here and there. My last drink was 12/08/2024. I started AA and a IOP program. I’m looking for a sponsor and I’m going to work the steps. My husband is acting like I’m his child I have to as permission to use my car,to go to a meeting, to go to the store. I guess he lost trust but I feel he is using my relapse has something to hand over me, it’s hard to explain. For now I’m going to focus on me , my sobriety,my boys that are 27,24,22,17,14,10 and 5 lol only 4 boys left at home lol. And work in being happy and not sit in my guilt. Thank you for letting me vent
Ohhh LisaRuiz7, biggest bear hugs to you hun, I’m sorry for your husband’s response to your relapses. But I agree with dirk. I get a sense that your husband is a control freak who enjoys the fact that he can use your relapses against you…I am sorry but I don’t ask anyone for permission to use My car!! You might have made mistakes but that’s not a reason to treat you like child!!! I was married to a man like that…“you can’t see so and so now that we’re married” “You can’t go anywhere unless you’re with me” “You don’t leave the house when I’m at work”…I left him 9 months after we were married…he wouldn’t give me a divorce though because he didn’t want me to marry anyone else. If you’re husband can’t give you the support, not financially, but emotionally and mentally, then he has failed his vows as a husband sorry not sorry to say…
Don’t feel ashamed or guilty for being human hun, stay strong, remember that we’re here for you and if I were you I’d walk up to your husband, grab yourself and tell him that you’re growing some “balls” baby and you got this 
sorry don’t want to offend you just irks me when I read how controlling he is.
Hope you get a sponsor and keep up with your meetings well done wish you well
Welcome Lisa! Glad you found us. 
Being treated like a child is the last thing you need in these early days. I get that you have to earn trust back but not having freedom to come and go as you please only builds resentments which is the number 1 reason for relapse so be careful. Would your husband consider another option while you work on trust? There’s an app called Life360. I use the free version for my daughter. We can see each others location at all times as long as our phones are on. I use it for safety reasons but you 2 can use it while building that trust again. This way you can prove through your actions and no conversations need to be had about where you’re going in YOUR car.
Hope to see you around the forum often. Wishing you the best on your journey.