Hi all,
I’m new to the app, but have had quite a few indicators of alcohol use disorder that I think it’s time for me to address it. I think I’ve ignored my drinking habits for so long because I didn’t view it as “dependency” - I could get through a day or two without drinking, and often didn’t desire drinking. However, my problems started when I began bartending and dating a guy who drinks almost daily. I found myself saying yes to drinks in an effort to connect with others; now I use my drinking as a “badge of honor” in social settings. I genuinely enjoy the people I’ve met through the bar scene, and I do feel connected with others when I am drinking. But there are some days where I overindulge and it impacts my ability to perform my day job adequately. I’m not sure I’m ready to quit drinking cold turkey because I’m surrounded by it, but I’d like to be able to set limits for myself and actually follow through with them, not lose sight of them when I feel the need to connect with others. Can anyone else relate? Am I being naive by thinking that I don’t need to quit cold turkey?
Hi Jess,and welcome to the forum. This place is called Talking Sober for a reason. All of us here are trying to totally abstain from drinking. To remain sober day in day out. Through the years I’m here I’ve seen many members leave, only to return later telling how they thought they mastered the art of drinking socially, controlled, limited, whatever you want to call it. None of those who tried to do so managed it. 100% went back to their previous drinking habits or worse.
Also in my own surroundings I’ve never met one person who became a social, controlled drinker after losing that control before. Again not one. All the stories I ever heard of people who could do that are hearsay, stories from people who want to keep drinking in a controlled manner. Once we lose control over our drinking, the only control left is total abstinence. People that don’t have problems with alcohol also have no problems with controlling their drinking, they just do.
So IMO the question you should ask yourself is this: have I lost control over my drinking? If so, I don’t think you’re going to find it back. I also notice you still see many good things in drinking. That will make it hard to quit outright right away I feel. I firmly belief now that the connections I made in my bar days were shallow, superficial, based on booze and not much else. I did lose most if not all of the friends from my drinking days. And making new friends is really hard, but the ones I did gain I share a much deeper relationship with.
Anyway, you will have to find this out for yourself. Welcome again, I appreciatie you ask yourself questions about your drinking and are looking for answers. Wishing you all success on your journey. And as an afterthought: when you drink a lot, on a daily basis, it’s not recommended to quit drinking cold turkey. Medical assistance might be a good idea. Good luck.
You’re not naive, you’re a problem drinker who isn’t ready to give it up yet.
No one this forum can help you with moderation because no one here can moderate successfully. By the time you are looking for sobriety websites it’s unlikely you can moderate too.
If you want sobriety you are in the right place
Hi Jess,
Welcome!!
I’d be fairly similar to yourself, i posted recently and got some great help from the community.
I was recommended a book called This Naked Mind by Annie Grace i got it on Spotify it was a great help to me with a lot of the questions i had and now you have. Give it a whirl. I’m 64 days without a drink and i must say I’m enjoying it!!
Best of luck, keep reaching out!!