What do we think about social media? And how it impacts our sobriety?
Personally, I deleted most of my social media because I kind of want to move in silence, and seeing people out there going to events and on vacations that involve alcohol will just not make me feel good inside. I guess you could call it FOMO… I think taking a step back and being in the moment with people who support me is what will make me come out on top. What are your thoughts?
I ditched Facbook the same day I went sober. Dont even miss it.
Addiction #1 in modern society. A fake world, where many only show who they want to be instead of who they truly are.
I never missed it. Eventually got back on Fakebook only for some communities, I don’t follow any people nor do I post anything on my timeline.
As for the term, I don’t see why it should be named social. It only brings more polarisation and division… and more individualism.
(but allright, I do admit I may be an oldfashioned
boomer 
)
I got sober way before internet or social media was a word lol so if its effecting you get rid of it
For myself, having this space free of (some) of the negatives of ‘social media’ and obviously focused on sobriety and recovery, was so helpful. I have FB (that is it) as I have friends all over the world we have met in travels…so that aspect I enjoy. I am older tho, so my experience with social media is likely very different than yours (since there was none when I was growing up, so I am not particularly focused on it).
I think whatever makes you feel more confident in your sobriety journey and self is what is important to focus on. 
@SassyRocks. I’m about to be 29 in a couple weeks. Social media has been a huge part of my life as pathetic as that sounds haha. I’m apart of multiple communities on there so it stinks but I believe staying off of it will help me focus more on my journey and more on the present. This app will most likely fill in for it and I’m perfectly okay with that because I love it here. I think eventually I will be okay with going back on social media but as of right now I just need to focus on me and not worry about what other people are doing.
I deleted my socials long ago. For me it was unhealthy in so many ways. Comparison is the thief of joy.
@Fargesia nothing you have said is false information lol and I couldn’t agree more. I’ve always been very into social media though so I was curious as to see how other people view it. I am also apart of a lot of animal crossing communities on Facebook which help me distract my mind. ( it’s a game in Nintendo switch) so that stinks that I will be missing out on that but I know in the long run it will help me to stay away from it awhile! Thank you for your feedback!!!
@Mlissa0404 comparison is definitely what social media is. I agree! Everyone has to have the best of everything but nothing you see on social media is real which I understand I just view it as seeing what my friends and family are up to but now that I am on this journey I rather step back and focus on what I’m doing. Thank you for your feedback!
I felt like it brought out my worst tendencies to try and be someone other people would respect. It’s like a mirror that showed me parts of myself I need to get better control over.
Aside from that I found it to be a waste of time. If I ever want be really fucking angry about things I have no control over, feel inadequate about my life choices, and kill any kind of good mood I’m currently, facefuck and instafucked discord ect. are an app download away.
@ssteve isn’t that the truth. Sometimes it really does make you feel so god damn low. Back then I used to always compare the relationships I had with other peoples and it just bring you down…bad. I’ve learned that you have to be present and you have to know that your time is coming you know? I like the nick names you have for the socials… they fit very well lol. Personally I had Facebook, and snap chat. Everything else I deleted but even the socials I had still made me feel inadequate so I’m glad that you guys are pushing me more to stay away from it! I love it here!! 
I kinda hate social media to the point that I’ve left this forum in the past and have limited interactions even now with it, but as sassy said this social media being focused on recovery has more value than anything else out there, but it falls into similar traps.
Self-aggrandizing: here we obviously want to promote others successes and we need positive affirmations to help build better habits, but so often the root of posts on social media (here included) is simply to feed the ego and trick a dopamine receptor when that red notification lights up. If it’s between heroin and fleeting happiness from people liking you (I don’t think the human brain is good at differentiating between liking/disliking our expressions and liking/disliking ourselves) then it’s def better, but far from perfect as it can equally make us feel like “less than” leading to increase chance of relapse.
Dishonesty: it’s probably better here than most social media, but its still here. Every time we select the fastest run to post or influence a selfie with a filter we are lying. It’s tiring being dishonest and can seriously hinder personal growth, but when confronted with the seemingly better picture of someone else’s proposed reality it can be very temping to at least select our posts to appear “better” than we are. It’s funny how the inverse of this property also exists. So people will try to one up their fuck ups as though to feed into a sense that either a) they are the most fucked up or b) they’ve overcome more. Obviously dishonesty exists independent of social media, but its rampant under the guise of tech to interact.
Drawing away from reality: taking time to take a picture of food before you eat it so that you will cash in that present experience for future likes is exactly what social media is designed to do in hopes to keep you logged in. Whenever our goal is to post something on social media we are automatically taken away from present reality and into a hypothetical future reality or an abstract voyeuristic existence. This is very harmful for the human psyche.
Virtue signaling: this is my biggest pet peeve. So often people will only put forth values or ideas so they seem more altruistic, but not because it’s best practice or even something that they care about, but it gives them power and it’s power from a position where to even question it automatically makes the questioner a bad person or bigotted. It stops conversations and growth. It also limits personal accountability. Take the shirt regulations here for selfies. A perfectly normal sober day at the beach with the family can not be photographed and posted because of the control that’s been given to some that have issue with it instead of promoting self regulation. We control others instead of ourselves which is the wrong step imo.
Now here is where I need to eat a lil humble pie because while I’ve been on pmo threads and know full well how a pic can lead me down a bad path of porn or whatever, but for some I feel it could be far worse for them to see a shirtless person in a place of healing. So in out of respect for them we concede, but I still think there is simply a power dynamic throughout social media that feeds into this paradigm and its counterproductive.
Overall though despite its obvious flaws I believe that this social media site is the best one (and only one I belong to) because I believe the root of what brings people here is THE DESIRE TO BE SOBER and with that being the only prerequisite it really is a beautiful messy thing, just like real life. The exploration of what we tell ourselves and each other is not the primary topic in any other social media so they have no chance of doing anything other than racing to the bottom.
Quit all (except here) for 1 month and tell us how you feel. I bet after the 3 week detox you’ll never be happier.
Just my 2 cents. Take care.
@Kdog Thank you so much for taking the time to write all of that. I will accept your challenge because I know deep down in better off!
I use WhatsApp, WeChat, Line and email to stay in contact with people that are in reality willing and happy to talk with me.
I make private groups on the apps to send photos of my kids to, and email groups to discuss deeper life issues with my friends.
I have no interest in social media friends who say yeah call me anytime! And then I call and they’re all pissed off because I called them.
Just not enough time and energy each day to deal with that shit.
I have not missed any of it.
I used phone and in app setting to set times for my usage, or deleted the apps from my phone. Alot of the media has photos and memories with my family and child etc. I’d rather not loose but alot of my time spent scrolling was unhealthy and facilitated unhealthy thoughts so the amount of time and what I did with that time had to change. Going okay so far. I new I was planning on getting sober so I started some actions in preparation for an all around healthier day to day life style.
I cleaned out my fb when I got sober. I did huge “friends” cull and only kept very close friends and family on there. I am part of a few local community groups which communicate via fb so use it primarily to stay linked in with them.
When I got sober, no social media, no Snapchat no Tik Tok, messenging apps what have you.
This was really the first social media I got when I got sober, after about 6 months I joined here
Now after 2 years in hopes of resurrection of my music career I finally started a Facebook, IG and Twitter, I post minimal, and I don’t use my real name or anything that could link it to me, I have like 3 friends who are actually contacts. No links to my personal info, and it’s very private no pics of my kids, family sig other, it’s all business, and i don’t post frequently, once we start playing more shows ill start posting more,
But to Be honest, social media is toxic as fuck, fake friends fake people and creates unhealthy competition
I had a web conference with a financial planner through our work, and they talked about how social media can destroy your life, your cruising through IG and you see your friends posting this happy couples picture on the strip in Dubai, oh how nice wish I could go to Dubai and jealousy anger resentment and lack of self worth set in, well needless to say they look so happy and paint that pretty picture but on the inside how much are they really falling apart, and just giving a perception of happy and wealthy, while they are band aiding broke and depressed?
As much as I hate to say it, SM is a toxic shithole, but for people like me trying to grow a brand, it’s a necessary evil, and I just have it for brand growth and Promotion, not to talk about my feelings, my day, etc.
We were at practice last night and talking about promotion, and working on a new album, one of my guys is big about social media following and while it’s important when growing as social media has become an influence on whether a venue wants to book you, I said let’s grow our following in our backyard the old fashioned way, being on a year long hiatus does hurt, but use that to grow our likeness, looks great to have 10k followers on Facebook, but worldwide following doesn’t park asses in seats in Baltimore,
Part of my sobriety has been ditching the FOMO for JOMO (the joy of missing out) and social media didn’t help me make that switch. This is my only social app and I am only a part of it because it is such an honest and supportive site. Best to you.
I had FB years ago. Deleted my account after a month. It was nothing but high school drama lol. I did take a break from Snapchat, but I have friends and have fam that I communicate through the app. Ppl post themselves drinking and shit. But it doesn’t really bother me anymore. Just because I’m sober doesn’t mean I need to avoid everyone that drinks. As long as they’re not being annoying, or peer pressuring me to drink, then it’s all good. I don’t have a problem with them.
I agree this is the best way!