For a goat you make a lot of sense.
Also… How cool is it i can understand goat!?
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I completely agree. Unfortunately the problem we see before us needs a resolution and also unfortunately I feel like a stronger show of mod force (in numbers, not necessarily actions) will have the common effect that a show of force does. No one mod will (mostly) get singled out, no one mod will have all the responsibility, no one mod will be held accountable for the entire forum. A show of force tends to keep people more in line without needing action.
The entire situation is incredibly tricky. I have learned so much about live and let live, understanding that everyone is going through something I probably know nothing about, and accepting that I can’t control others (not that I want to), all from this forum. I’ve learned so much more as well. But that doesn’t mean that the next person has learned it, nor that they care to.
I would love for everyone to feel more comfortable here, including myself. I think that the next step in attempting to make this happen is more moderation, because it’s the only plausible step.
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As a moderator and a very active long term member, I agree with you that adding mods won’t change some of the underlying issues of the forum. Over time one can see many cyclical patterns…January being a busy chaotic time is a given. How newcomers feel (raw, scared, on edge, defensive, attacked) is another. The defensiveness most of us felt first coming here and getting feedback is pretty commonplace. There is a lot of calming that mods do for the newbies (members also do this), but I do spend a fair amount of time messaging with new people who get upset and want to leave…I remember that feeling myself. I can’t underscore enough how important early interactions can be for newbies. Many of the frequent posters we have now came to me wanting to leave or have left and returned. The overall feel and tone of the forum is important.
The point is, we need community help here, not more layers of rules. There will always be people who are rude, shit stirrers or unwilling or unable to interact pleasantly. There are also people with serious mental health issues and people in active addiction. It is of the utmost responsibility of all of us to not make things worse for people. We aren’t a forum of knitters or bakers or athletes…we are addicts and we have unique serious issues. Our main purpose is to help and support each other in sobriety.
I have been pondering how to better serve our community as a member and a moderator. I think one thing which may help moderators is to utilize the silence user (for moderators) feature more. (Forum users can also mute users, which is a bit different). I think I may have silenced a user once or twice. In retrospect, when people are in a downward argument spiral, intervention should come in the form of a comment on the thread or pm (when it is in the thread it can make some people react defensively, specifically new members, longer term members may be more able to hear criticism without the defensivenss)… if that does not help, then the silence user would be used. This would allow them a short amount of time to cool off and reflect. Likely an overnight silence. I think that may be more helpful.
The recent deletion of threads requested by the OP when the threads were devolving, has proved problematic. I try to honor requests as much as possible, however, I also know deletions cause issues with members and a lot of confusion. In retrospect, I could have handled that more effectively. Closing the thread, but allowing it to remain is a better choice IMHO. Same when people want their account deleted. Anonymizing accounts and leaving threads intact is a much better solution for the community as threads continue to make sense (which they don’t when posts are deleted).
While additional active moderators is a good idea. I also think that some personal responsibility is also needed. There are a lot of long term members here that know the forum, know the rules of engagement and have some good sobriety time. You can help keep this place safe (and help the mods) by engaging with users who clearly need it. Private messages are helpful in guiding and assisting. Or a well thought out reply. Also, not getting into tit for tat. Thinking before responding. Not derailing topics, especially newbies topics. Using discretion, kindness, empathy. This forum is a place for healing, hope and support. It isn’t just my job or the other mods, it is all of our jobs. I think we can all be more responsible and aware in our interactions here.
Be the change. 
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How do we silence users?
Thanks pal
What would you do to silence if their profile is hidden?
just now learned you can mute entire categories too
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good question. no clue. you tryin to silence me haha
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no but it just dawned on me when I clicked on your PFP 
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You need to know their user name.
Go to your profile-> preferences-> Users … then add/type the @name into the ‘ignore’ box. I believe it asks you to select a time frame. Then hit save 
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Danke friggin shoen people. Appreciate the help
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Ah, the silence user I was referring to is a moderator function. For example, if someone is being disruptive, moderators can silence them for a period of time (usually overnight for some reflection time). I think utilizing this feature more would be helpful for the forum. Especially if someone is going flag happy, retaliatory posts or being aggressive or combative and PMs and member intervention isn’t working.
Silence the user
Silenced users are prevented from creating new topics, posts, flags, or PMs on the site. They are still able to complete other actions, like “liking” posts, reading topics, replying to PMs, etc. Additionally, they can communicate with moderators via PM, so you can continue to communicate with them to try and address the behavior.
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The mute \ ignore user function is a different one and available to all forum members. You won’t see a user’s posts.
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Just for clarity, @C_8 @CaptAZ and @les , you are all referring to the mute user option. The silence user is a moderator option. Hope my post above clarifies.
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Thank you. I think the silence user option sounds like a great moderator tool.
As a normal user, I find the ‘ignore’ function more effective than the ‘mute’ one.
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Not something I can really do as a moderator, but I encourage others to use it!
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The encouragement of more, old school looking out by the community is solid. Though personally I try to stay above board (out of PMs) as much as possible for various reasons.
Still, I whole heartedly agree with @Meggers that the notion of being a mod (and there are many excellent candidates here) would be less daunting if there weren’t so few.
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Moderating does involve a lot of private messaging, often daily, often with maybe 10 or more individual members. It’s a big part of the job.
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(Though really the whole mod support thing is all presumptuous on my part. It’s for y’all to say if you’re feeling it would help keep up with the queue. Beyond just the looking out that you have mentioned.)
