Some Major Illl Shit Went Down Tonight...and it could've been me


#1

As some of you may know, I’ve been on a journey to be free of Oxycodone. I’ve got 42 days in. Well, today was a MAJOR test of my will. My hubby still uses as well as a friend of my hubby’s. Well, the friend came over and he and hubby were shooting the breeze outside. I was inside doing chores. I knew what the fellas were really doing, and I desperately wanted in. I held my ground though and did not partake. Well, my hubby and his friend snorted their DOC right? Right afterwards hubby’s friend had to bounce. My hubby noticed literally a second later that his oxy was “off.” He got way high off of it in a way he had never experienced before. So my hubby called his buddy right away to warn him that something may have been up with the oxy. But it was too late. Our buddy made it to his home (maybe a 5 minute drive) and overdosed in his driveway. As of yet, we still have little information. Just that police we were on the scene and that our friend was being rushed into hospital. We have no idea the status of our friend. My husband is absolutely distraught. I can’t help but keep thinking “what if I had slipped tonight, that could have been me.” And then I feel immediatwly guilty for thinking it could’ve happened to me (how selfish of me, right?) when something ill did happen to our buddy. We still have no word. We don’t know what hospital he’s in. The only thing we’re hoping for is that our friend has been on subs for quite some time, and had been taking oxys for some time. Did our buddy have enough of these drugs in his system to survive the overdose. We are out of our minds with worry, but I can’t help it, I was this close. That could’ve been me. My mind is racing every direction. Anyone have advice to help me calm the fuck down?! I mean this friend was closer to my hubby than me, but that’s still a friend that went down. God, I hope he’s okay. I dont even know what to do with myself tonight. I’m way too wired to sleep. Oh my god.


#2

Wow. Our disease can take people’s lives. I hope your husband stops.


#3

I’m so sorry that you experienced such a nightmare tonight - and one tragic on so any levels. The only thing you can do right now is breathe deeply. Pray if that is something you feel comfortable with. And most of all - never forget tonight. You used your strength and determination to stay clean when the alternative would have been the easy decision. You did it - and you didn’t risk dying tonight. My heart goes out to your husband and your friend, and I will pray tonight that they are both going to be all right. You’ve now had 42 days of a life in which you will never be the one in the ambulance from bad drugs. You don’t ever have to go back to that.

Breathe. Thinking of you all tonight.:heart:


#4

He swears on our son’s life that this has opened his eyes, and he’s gonna stop. Problem is I’ve heard that before. For me anyway, it’s just that more conviction to keep fighting that daily battle not to pick up that first drug. It could always be just “that one time.” I dont want to be the one in the hospital. Tonight’s tragic events has strengtgened my resolve, to say the least. I desperately hope my hubby heeds his own words.


#5

Thanks so much for your encouraging words. I do pray a lot. My hubby doesn’t. But I’ve been sending up prayers tonight ever since we got that phone call. I pray he pulls through - and we all have that second opportunity to learn valuable, vailable lessons.


#6

You r definitely powerless over this situation. I wish I knew what to say that would help you right now. You are raw right now. Take comfort in knowing that you are loved.


#7

Make your husband get to a meeting. Go yourself. Next Time can Be the last.


#8

What a traumatic experience. I am glad that you have your 42 days and refrained from using. Something kept you from giving in. I would listen to that voice. Trust it. What kind of things do you do for self care? Now is a good time to be really sweet with yourself. I hope you find some ease and that your friend is okay.


#9

Sounds like a counterfeit pill with either heroin or fentanyl in it. They are both stronger than pills typically.


#10

I’ve never been able to get him to meetings, but now in light of recent events maybe he will come.


#11

My hubby thinks that too, that one of those were in it.


#12

Best suggestion I have is get Narcan trained and keep a kit in the house.


#13

Got some good news this morning! Our buddy is fine. Paramedics pumped him full of Narcan, and he responded. Our friend even went to work today. What a powerful lesson that this drug shit is serious. Reminder to keep on each day.


#14

Absolutely. I was actually just googling that. Idk if this experience will be enough to get my husband to stop, so if he doesn’t I want to be prepared.


#15

There’s tons of places that do trainings. I’d call the police or a hospital to find out. NY also has a program where your insurance will cover the costs. I carry my kit everywhere I go.


#16

I just did a training and was all nervous to do it. It’s super easy and quick to get trained! The police dept organized the one I did but it was lead by a local org who does the clean needle exchange.

Especially if you are around active users, I’d recommend getting trained up.


#17

Picture a situation where people are taking risks like gambling their lives for an exit from reality for a few minutes…Picture that you have to live in that situation while you yourself don’t want anything to do with it…Does that sound like a situation where you want your life to be at…if your husband isn’t willing to do something about the situation…I would strongly consider drawing conclusions from that…You can’t survive sober in that enviroment. Even if you do you’ll be miserable…
Not saying leave your husband…just saying somethings gotta change…Sending you strenght to get through this…:slight_smile: