Some thoughts and venting

I’ve been spending way too much time on social media as of late with this free time at home, as I’m sure a lot of us are experiencing, and I can’t help but notice the number of people posting about drinking all throughout the day and having “quarantine parties.” This gives me mixed feelings as someone over 2 years sober.

I worked last week so this week is my first week off of work and I am unable to work from home. This is putting everyone’s fun time drinking right in front of me. I wouldnt say it is tempting me to start drinking but it does make me think. A part of me still feels like I want to be able to be doing what they are but the larger part of me feels so much better knowing I am free of that. I’m wondering if there comes a time in sobriety where the desire to have a drink completely goes away? It isnt worth having that first drink but I know I’d enjoy that first drink and that it wouldn’t stop at just one. Which is why I refuse to chance it.

My life is better without it and I definitely am not considering starting again but I’m just curious how people with more sober time than me feels about social situations and alcohol as time goes by.

I’m also thinking about how would people be handling this situation if they were unable to get alcohol. Would more people realize they have an issue when it comes to drinking? Just some thoughts I’ve been having.

I have been keeping busy with building puzzles, making jewelry, doing art, netflix binging, and mid day napping. I plan to start working out again tomorrow to invest more into my physical health with this free time and to get more consistent.

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Hi, to answer your second question first.
That thought had crossed my mind already and I wholeheartedly agree with you.
But nothing we can do about that.

First question,
I have 16 months sobriety nearly, a week out I think, anyway. The thought of drinking doesn’t cross my mind because I don’t drink!
I don’t miss drinking, I don’t look at social media and wish.
In fact I look at social media and think you fools!! But hey ho, that’s probably just me.
The reason I don’t have these thoughts I think is that I made my peace early on with the fact that I can’t drink, so I don’t drink.
I can tell you right now, that the only thing that will make me drink is me actually picking up.
And as I don’t drink, that ain’t gonna happen.

My suggestion? Stay away from social media until you can see the idiots posts without thinking anything more than " You fools, what state are you gonna be in if the brown stuff hits the fan?!"

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I know what helps me to not be tempted to drink is that I can ‘play the tape all the through.’ I can see past that first drink to the end of the night and what inevitably happens. I’m not worried that I will accidentally start again, I’m just wondering when I will not have that feeling of wanting it even after I say no and know I’m not going to have anything.

I’m sure it’s specific to each person but it’s been a while since I’ve posted and felt like I needed to vent a bit. Thanks for your response!!

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Congratulations on your more than 2 years sober! That’s such an amazing accomplishment! It sounds like you already have wise tools to use if you are considering a drink again :smiley:

Just a couple thoughts I had upon reading your post, perhaps give your social media a break, or try to limit how much you’ll look at. It’s so hard when many people are just posting their “highlight reel,” making it look like we’re missing out because we don’t drink anymore. Don’t be fooled :wink: I think with everything changing so rapidly in our world now, it also has us extra on edge, or emotional, or just questioning things. But I’m also super grateful for my sobriety during this situation, while doing my best to be calm with the continued unknown. Overall, I feel like my cravings and obsession I used to have about alchohol have been removed. Using the allergy metaphor has helped me, along with just now seeing it as something that is “off the table; not an option.” Of course, I’m only human though- and I think especially now, that I haven’t been able to go to my regular meetings, that sneaky alcoholic voice tries to drag me back into the destructive cycle I was in, so I just have to be extra mindful of it and take action. And it sounds like you are doing that with your hobbies and activities you mentioned, so way to go :star: when you say building puzzles- do you mean jigsaw puzzles? What kind of jewelry do you make? What’s your avenue of art? Best wishes! :four_leaf_clover::bouquet:

This certainly is the time that all the thinking happens. I had a thought yesterday, after getting the shelter at home order in my city, that I shouldn’t breathe on police or National Guard personnel (if it even comes to that). Not because of the virus but because old thoughts sneak up in times like these. My knee jerk reaction was to hide that I am a drunk. I’ve been sober for over 2 years and 9 months. I was worried about the smell of alcohol on my breath. It was an alarming thought, one that made me question if I am at risk for relapse. But, here’s the thing. This order to not be out on the streets made me feel like I had to hide, like I AM hiding, which lead right back to that feeling of hiding my various states of drunkenness. This is an indicator that I need to change what I’m doing, change my routine. Exercise needs to become a part of my life. We are allowed to exercise as long as we stay away from others. So going for walks is going to be a thing. So is going into work and cleaning and reorganizing the stock room, kitchen and dining room. Trying to get some more routine in my life. It may not be the routine I want, but I can’t be particularly picky right now. I run said restaurant and when I’m not in the kitchen I’m on the floor. Either way, I’m used to getting a lot of physical activity during my day. Now that that’s missing its left me treading water. Well, I don’t want to be treading water, I want to be keeping myself moving. So, that’s how I’m trying to cope. My mental health is the key to my sobriety, and my mental health is starting to slowly unwind. Time to address that!

As far as people and their stupid decisions, well, thanks to them we have to shut everything down. And then there’s this…


Yeah, how that’s even possible is beyond me. I’m happy to NOT be a part of that situation.

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I’d say yes it is possibly different for everyone. And would depend, probably on how much “training” we give our minds into being sober, if you can see what I mean.
If one just white knuckles the whole journey without any reconditioning ones mind then it’s gonna be hard.
I don’t think about it much at all.

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I read this today and it made me feel really grateful to have stopped drinking,I used to read this stuff to try and scare me into stopping!..but that didn’t work of course!..it was good to read with my new perspective,and think ,‘shit,that was close,that could be me’…today alcohol is not in my life and I am definitely not missing out.,and I feel strong about being on this side of the fence so to speak,the grass is greener on THIS side!:+1::grin::v: hope you can get to that place too
https://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2020/03/25/why-we-minimize-risks-of-alcohol.aspx

For me, it has. No temptation. No desire whatsoever. I won’t drink, because I don’t drink. I am a non-drinker.

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This is what my big book tells me.
Love and tolerance is our code. For those who are able to drink like normal drinkers more power to them. Lord knows if I didn’t have this disease I’d be right beside them.
For the alcoholics who are still suffering and the family’s caught in the cross hares: I pray for them.
The rest is God’s will and not a resentment or concern I want taking up space in my head.
After all they’re not paying rent :smile: :thinking:
Bottom of page 84, top of page 85

For me, yes, the desire to have a drink has completely gone away. Not drinking or drinking or trying not to drink…these things no longer cross my mind. It didn’t happen over night. It didn’t happen in the first year. I don’t remember exactly when it did happen, but sometime during my second year sober, drinking or not drinking wasn’t part of my daily thought process anymore. So…yes…it can and does happen. :blush:

I would like to comment on this as well. I hope that’s okay…
My experience:
On day 19 of my sobriety my sponsor picked me up and spent 14 hours with me and we did steps 1 through 9. I did spend an hour alone for 6 and 7.
2 days later I had a barn burning spiritual experience and the obsession to drink was removed but more importantly the spiritual malady was overcome.
Alcohol is only a symptom of this disease.
In my experience taking the booze away made my life worse. I couldn’t cope. however I wasn’t getting the effect anymore. I wanted to die.
If your early in this thing and wondering about the disease I shared my experience in a thread called
" what makes me an alcoholic " scroll down and find it if you like.
I’m not saying everyone can work the steps as fast as I did. I spent 20 years in the program and knew the big book cover to cover. So my experience was different as they all should be. I have many sponsees and only 141 days clean. That’s the miracle of it.

Spiritual experience… back of the big book
My experience was clear and immediate.
@Sassyrocks experience was educational variety and slow enough that she can’t pin point it.
The beauty is we each have our own and it’s the higher power of our understanding that decides ultimately how and when that will happen.
I spent years trying to overcome this thing without doing the work. Anything that looked like work I was opposed too. When I finally took the steps my life changed and I realized this disease was more than alcohol. It was internal. It had to be treated internally. Taking away alcohol is external. That’s why alcohol was merely a symptom.
If I’m coming across wrong in anyway I apologize. I just love to help my brothers and sisters in this nasty disease

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Maybe I’ll start reading more in the BB. I can understand that it’s more than not drinking. I guess I’m not sure I want to look in that rabbit hole, lol.

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:rofl: I dodged it for 20 years. It’s so beautiful on the otherside of me :adhesive_bandage:

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