So I just found out my grandfather has only days to live. My mother and I have gotten into yet again. I told her were coming down tonight which is an hour drive. We leave to go to the beach on sat, so our plan is to go down to the beach and if or when something happens we will leave and come back for the funeral. She tells me it is a damn shame that I can’t cancel our trip. Am I being selfish by continuing our trip? They told us months ago he only had a month to live and that was 2 months ago.my mother has me so stressed and I am upset about my grandfather, oh did i mention we have to replace our central air, the whole thing. I guess when it rains it pours. I know there are other people who have it much worse than me, but of there is ever a day i needed a pill today is the day. Ugh ok sorry to rant, rant over
@Tosh012. Wow you are sure getting a test. I pray you find the path through it. Taking that pill will not fix any of these problems though. It will give you what minutes of numbness ? But when that goes away you are still in the situation. On the trip vs family boy that is tough. I assume it’s always stressful between you and your mom? Will you feel remorse for not being around if you aren’t around when he passes? Maybe you can compromise? Still get away for a few hours for your own well being but spend time with the family and grandfather? I know you said an hour drive but how far between the lake and family? I will tell you I drive 4 hours for an hour long meeting almost weekly so an hour isn’t bad.
Where is “the beach” for you?
Take a few deep breaths. First, im so sorry to hear about your grandfather. I was in the same situation a few months ago when i was told my grandmother was about to pass and we had a vacation planned. My grandmother lived 5 hours north of me and my vacation was 12 hours south. Ugh. I did go to see her before she passed. She was unconscious when i arrived but still alive. I spent about 2 hours with her, said my peace, and her hands twitched holding mine the entire time. I then left before she passed and went on my vacation. Death is a personal thing. I think as long as you do what YOU think is best for YOU, you can’t go wrong. Dont let family guilt mess you up. I think you are doing the right thing. What your initial gut says to do is what you should go with, in my opinion anyway. The air conditioner breakdown blows, but just do what you can. It sounds like you need that beach trip now more than ever. I hope you work things out. At end of day you have to do what is best for you. Hang in there. Hugs!
“Fear is what we feel when we think about the future. It is our response to the unknown; a fantasy in reverse.”
When I start thinking about the future in a obsessive or overly negaive way, I try to trace it back to what fear is governing the thought. Perhaps your mom is fearful of being alone, or her own mortality. Believe that she is doing her best helps to put a discussion in perspective. Good luck and you’ll be ok.
Yes it is always stressful between my mom and i…she doesn’t like me. I don’t mind going down there, I actually go down and see him every weekend, well along with my mother. I was on My way down there tonight. My mother feels like I should stay home next week, we are planning on going on our vacation, but coming home when something happens (funeral) and than traveling back down. Omg u travel 3 hours more power to you. Thank you for your advice
Myrtle beach, about a 7 hour drive fiber or take an hour
Thank you so much.
Thanks, I have been rolling it over in my head. I went down and spent about 2 1/2 hours with him. My husband told me i need the vacation, I just feel bad for leaving, we have been down this road before, hospice was called in a few months ago said he would only make it another month, well it has been 2 months now. My husband said we will return for the funeral, which where we are going is only about a 7 hour drive, so not to bad, than we will go back down to finish our vacation. We have all of my husband’s family going on the trip with us and some are rising with us.