So my addiction started about three months ago and in that short amount of time I feel as though I lost everything.
It started looking for marijuana since I had recently ran out, but for some reason my sister didn’t have it when I came around. Instead she had this “new” stuff called spice that was apparently cheaper and has a more intense high. Trying it it threw me into a very horrible panic attack…
I don’t know why I didn’t stop right there and never touch it again, but 2016 was a shitty year with 4 of my dogs dying, my grandpa getting cancer, and both sets of my parents were divorcing, I was looking for an escape.
By the beginning of December I was spending close to 100$ a day on this shit, I was panning anything that I could claim was my own, I was begging my family for money saying it was for gas, I had tried meth and heroin and Crack just so I could get hooked on something other than this shit, but I couldn’t; and my body and mind have taken a significant toll. I have panic attacks up to 5 times a day, talking is so difficult, and I cough up mucus constantly.
My family finally caught on, I have been suspended from college for a semester, and I lost my job.
Now I’m trying to get clean.
I’ve restarted 5 times already with only being able to stay clean at most 1.5 days, but I’m not giving up.
Withdrawls are a bitch. I live on the bathroom floor in front of my toilet. I’m in so much pain and mentally I keep having breakdowns that are scaring my mother.
I’m still not giving up. I’m extremely thankful for the amazing support system I have and how persistent they are on my recovery.
So far this app has been a great distraction from the pain and cravings, so thank you all.
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Spice is chemically created and often the producers use toxic products because they’re cheaper and give a similar high. It’s a good thing you’re in the mindset to quit.
The withdrawal will be shit but you will physically be fine after a few days. Then you can begin rebuilding yourself and confront the deeper reasons you are getting the panic attacks. They should lessen in nature as your body recovers.
We are here for you! Just try for 3 days for now and see how that goes, I’m sure your body and mind will begin to heal even within that time 
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@Tessanator don’t give up. Keep checking in. Ask for advice. You are on the right path being here 
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