I have 1 month and 1 week sober from any alchohol. I feel great and on the right track. I realize my husband is a big reason I would drink. He really stresses me out but I know alchohol doesn’t help with any problems.
I guess my point is to vent. He is a pot head. Hes been smoking all day everyday for 20 years. Never tried to get sober. I don’t nag at him. I have given up on any battles with him. I feel like we just live together and i try to make it as good as it can be for the children but I am affected by him being high all the time. I just keep it all in and work on myself.
He is so lazy, doesn’t help me with the kids or housework. Doesn’t shower for months at a time. Stays in the garage by himself mostly for hours and hours when hes home. Is really mean quite frankly. He will get high then engage me to talk about whatever inappropriate subject is on his mind and I have to listen to him go on and on while he works himself up or he gets pissed. All in front of the kids usually. I feel like he has some sort of psychosis at times. I am very unhappy with him and how he treats me and the kids and has let himself go. I was closet drinking a few times a week just to relax it all away but Im done with it. I know I have a problem so I am stopping.
Anyone else dealing with a partner who is not sober while you are staying sober?
Your definitely not alone Marie.
When my life finally became unmanageable I found help going to Al-Anon meetings. Addiction is a disease of relationships. My wife still drinks a plenty but I’m learning to take care of myself, detach with love and set healthy boundaries. And it’s really hard to do. That’s why I go to meetings. Even if it’s just to get a break away from my loved on.
There’s quite a few threads on here if you want to do some reading. You certainly aren’t alone. Which is also comforting to know when I go to an Al-Anon meeting.
Congratulations on your month and a week sober too by the way. Sorry I get so wrapped up in my story.
Sometimes I too feel if I just started drinking again everything would be fine. But I’m enjoying my sober life too much to go back to that hell.
Yes this is all great advice. I have to stay sober, alchohol never helped with anything. I want to be fully there for my children and show them how to live. Not to need to use anything. I will look into al-anon. Im actually in France but im sure theres stuff online.
I feel it I have lung issues but it’s so hard to quit bc he doesn’t , and he seems to have no desire to ever quit . Ik my sobriety shouldn’t depend on him but i need his help , and I hope that one day he will be willing to commit so we can just be actually healthy present people for once. We both started smoking weed in middle school
Hi! Yes things are falling into place and I love being sober. He is not triggering me to run to alcohol and I will stay focused and in control. I just got my french driver’s license! Really was a difficult thing to do. I have been on foot for the past 3 years and I have 5 children. He never walks though he rides a motorcycle. He lost his license and is too lazy to get a car and a license again.
I already feel on my own, like a single mom in many ways. We even sleep in separate rooms and have for many years. I would have left a long time ago if it wasn’t for the children. It is hard to do.
Hello, yes that must be difficult. I know when he runs out of stuff to smoke he completely losses his mind. Like hes ready to kill someone. He wont sleep or eat and will go on a tirades about everything since hes so uncomfortable in his own skin.
I always thought pot was such an innocent drug. At least its not alchohol ect. He is missing out on his own life though, he doesn’t spend time with his family. He is way less successful. I thinks hes gross always high, he never showers and brushes his teeth anymore. He is always sitting alone in the garage watching videos while I do everything in the house for the family. Sorry to go on and on. I am just so tired of pot and its so expensive!!
Having been a pothead for decades I know the devastating effect it has had on my life. On my planning, my ambitions, my pleasure in life, my willingness to take action when needed, and hundreds of other things that were impacted negatively through me smoking my life away. Never again. Wishing you all success in your sober journey -congrats on a month and a week!- and making the right choices to have a better life for yourself and yours Tmarie.
I completely lost my mind too when I was out of THC. I just isolated myself waiting till the next day to go buy some more. A real disgrace to my ex wife or kids. Like…“just ignore me, I’m not here anymore, I’ll be alright tomorrow afternoon”. Can’t say I miss those years
And they call it a "soft drug " in France. No way…
Bon courage !
I absolutely agree with that. Pot can never be a problem since alchohol is legal and causes way worse consequences. Why cant we just look at it without the comparisons and just for what it is?
You are right. My older children want us to separate. They know something is not right with him. My goal is to get it together, stay sober myself and find a solution for us.
