I stopped drinking for 6 months last year but started again over Christmas and now it’s just spiralled. I’m drinking wine every weekend and on Friday I went to a wedding and got completely drunk.
Feel so disappointed in myself. I promised myself that after 6 months of sobriety I would only drink in moderation but here I am all over again.
Seriously need some support and advice now to get through the next few days because I feel so depressed about my drinking this weekend.
This summer I had 186 days. I was doing so well but then it all came crashing down. I’ve relapsed 3 times since then and lost my boyfriend, left our house and our dog and cat. I haven’t talked to him in 9 days. That’s how many days I’m sober. But since then, I got a sponsor going to meetings everyday. I’m not going to push my ex to talk to me. We both need time to heal.
I know I can’t control myself after that first drink. I don’t really see it as me giving up anything. I hate the way I treated people. Hated waking up ashamed. So even though right now I’m not exactly in my idea place; I know it will get better! As long as I take it one day at a time! I can overcome this and be happy and sober today!
The forum is great for asking questions and looking at different perspectives and stories. You’ve come to the right place!
I’m im a similar spot right now myself. I went from drinking everyday to every 3 days then finally down to every 7 or 8 days. I thought I could be in control but the honest truth is I can’t control myself once the alcohol gets in my system! I went months with out losing that control but this weekend it happened I got blackout drunk, woke up so mad at myself but it needed to happen so I could realize the truth and really see it and I paid dearly with a horrible hangover. But what happened is in the past, yes I messed up but I have to let it go and let it be a lesson because guilt and depression just do nothing good for us. I made the decision to give total sobriety another shot, good luck to you in whatever you decide is best for you and your journey!! Coming here to this app helps me tremendously it just feels good to be able to share with others who have lived through the same things as me.
I’m in the same boat. Routine’s been off since February. Had about 4 to 5 months clean last year. Went out Friday and spent Saturday on my couch. I’m not feeling down though. Its no point to that. You’re alive and well. You realize the problem. You’ve gained significant time last year. Get back to it.
I’m pumped at the challenge and I know that I can do it because I’ve done it before.
Stay focused. Get over being depressed. Really nothing more to it.
You can do this.
Had a similar experience, staying sober 6 months (combined - 2 3 month stretches with a slip inbetween that didn’t become a full-blown relapse) last year, until my honeymoon where I decided I “deserved” to celebrate with drinks. Then told myself I could moderate. Wrong, that’s why I stopped in the first place.
Welcome back. You know it won’t be easy. It’s worth your well-being though, right?
Absolutely. All I want is to get back to that place of wellbeing and being happy in my sobriety. I’m going to do this one day at a time and take back control. Thank you for replying.
Thanks for replying. I know what you mean. I just need to get this feeling sorry for myself out of my system and get back on track.
I get what you’re saying. I can’t control it either and I was just fooling myself since Christmas thinking I could drink in moderation. I always knew this would happen again but had my head buried in the sand. I now know that I can’t drink at all anymore… so it’s time for me to pick myself up and get on with it. Thanks for replying. It feels good to know how much support there is out there.
Familiar story here. I have traveled that same road. Drinking progressively gets worse. Quit for 30, 60, 90 days. See, I’m not an alcoholic. I can quit anytime. Take that first drink. Maybe drink “normally” for that first couple of days, and before I know it, right back to the cycle.
No more. I am free, and I’m not going back.
I am in the same position as you! I was sober for period of time, but then I thought oh I can manage this… and I started enjoying wine with friends…then just wine… and the last two weekends I have gotte drunk and made a fool of myself and I said Enough is Enough!
Today is my first day starting over sober again- taking it one day at a time… we can do this girl! I’m so grateful this app is here and I can read others stories like mine.
I’ve been there too. I was sober for 2 1/2 years and then started to drinking occasionally… not admitting I truly had a problem. Now I’ve been sober for 2 weeks and I’ve concluded I cannot ever drink again. I too have a sponsor, go to meetings and go to counseling. There is nothing positive in reliving the past except to learn and more forward. One day all of this pain will be worth it and joy overwhelming with come.
My family is big on telling me that I can drink in moderation. And once or twice (maybe) I can. Most likely it will still be too much and cycle into a full on binge. At least you recognize the problem and are willing to work on it. Great job!
Today is day 4 for me and I really feel like I never want to go back again. I’m not burying my head in the sand anymore thinking that I can control myself and drink “normally”. One is just never enough, right?
I come from a family where almost everyone drinks so it’s very hard in that respect, especially at weddings etc. I have no events coming up for a while so I’m taking this time to get my head straight and focus on more positive things. Thanks for your message, it means a lot to know how supportive people are in this forum.
Thanks so much for your words. You really hit the nail on the head. I feel like this forum will play a big part in my sobriety so I’ll be coming back a lot.
One is rarely enough. It only “primes the pump” and makes me want another. Anything less than 100% in control is unacceptable, and 1 drink puts me below that threshold. I only need to refuse that 1st drink. I only need to deny myself the permission to have that first drink. I can declare victory, and keep on living.
Don’t take the first and you won’t have to worry about the 10th