@anon35096624 good morning! Well itās morning here in SA, not sure where you are from. I totally understand not wanting to feel like a nag but the awesome thing about this forum is that itās a place for just that, itās a place to talk about our issues, because alot of us dont always have someone in real life to do so with every time we get a craving.
Iām on day 7 now and I figured Iād share because it helps me in a weird way, so yesterday my brother in law pissed me off and I got really bad news with regards to my business which is my lively hood and I have an exam tomorrow that I havenāt the slightest chance of passing because I have been way to busy working and moving house. So when my brother in law laid the bad news on me and then ruffled my feathers the wrong way as he tends to do. I just wanted to drink. I felt powerless and Iād had enough and all I wanted to do was go party till I passed out again. But my bf and I had work to do at home and he just kept wrangling me in because well I told him that all I want to do is drink, so I staid busy all day and telling him made it better and after a while it wasnāt really even on my mind anymore.
It was difficult to say hey bf your brother pissed me off and everything and now all I want to do is drink. Because I was afraid of scaring him. But telling him made it better.
Donāt fear reaching out, especially if it works. We are all here to help each other out. Offer advice and experience, because what we have done or are doing could help someone else.
There are no hard and fast rules to this. We all have our own journey, our own steps to take. But there is nothing to say that we canāt offer a supportive hand to our fellow travellers.
Learn from us and from yourself.
Thatās what I ask myself every time I get the urge. The second question I ask is
Why do you feel like drinking?
With those two questions at hand I pretty much feel disgusted at the thought of drinking.
Thats how I do it. But as mentioned, everyone is different. Find something powerful that works.for you. And remember, we all think we can control our intake, but unfortunately for a lot of us, it just doesnāt happen. Which is why we stop to avoid torturing ourselves and those around us.
I had a bad day last week because of drinking. So itās starting over for me too. I know I donāt need alcohol in my life Iāve proven that by getting to 2 months sober. But Iāve slipped up, Iāve made excuses, I refused to admit it is a problem. But Iām starting over. On day 3 here. I journal, check out these boards, and took up crocheting again. I have half a mind to start an etsy and my crochet projects and donate to a womanās shelter/recovery center. I want to take the bad in my life and make it into something good. Itās not easy and I cannot count how many times I have tried. I know I can do it. And based off these forums everyone is very supportive. Itās not easy I have used alcohol as a coping mechanism for over a decade. But I want to be better for everyone who is rooting for me. And that is what keeps me going right now. Also my AA group is super nice and amazing and kind. Keep at it. Even if you feel alone; youāll always have people rooting for you on this app.
I think Iām leaving this app. Maybe I will come back one dayā¦ Probably sooner than later. Iām not in tnr right mindset. Donāt worry. Didnāt relapse but feel very sad and so unimportant to the world. No-one would even realize if I wasnāt there anymoreā¦ But thatās how our world is. Thanx for the support here.
That great, I guessed something wasnāt quite right.
I put all these mood swings down to part of the process, and rode the waves as best I could.
And yes it is a beautiful morning.