I’m 10 days Sober!! I feel great!
But if I am being completely honest… Im starting to have those thoughts. The ones where I tell myself that I can control this, that sobriety doesn’t have to be forever, that if I give it a little while longer I’ll be able to have a couple and not binge for the next week and a half.
I know these thoughts are all lies. I know this!
But those thoughts are there. I’m shutting them down…so far. I dont ever want to wake up dissappointed in myself again…ever.
But in the past I have somehow forgotten that the next morning is always there waiting to remind me of the failed attempt at a great life.
I feel like writing this out for people to see is helping me stay accountable.
-I dont want to see the disappointment on my husband’s face.
-I am so much more productive without drinking
-A few is never just a few.
-I hate waking up at 2 a.m. with a gross taste in my mouth, make up caked on my face, with a headache promising God that I will stop.
-I hate the next morning when I have to get some more so I don’t feel sick.
-I hate walking into a liquor store and they already have that devil juice on the counter waiting for me.
-I hate the constant fight in my head. Do it…don’t do it…do it… don’t do it.
-i have 3 grandbabies and I want to be my best for them
-I am extremely smart, but alcohol takes that away.
-i hate falling asleep in the living room cause I overdid it… again.
-i hate being sneaky
-i love feeling like I do today!!!
-my liver
-my poor husband ends up taking on more cause I get too buzzed to care about responsibilities.
I need to lose weight
-our bank account is much happier when I’m not drinking
@Littlemac I was thinking about it yesterday also. My husband just got a new job and I was going to use it as an excuse to “celebrate”. I didn’t. And I woke up today proud of myself.
Quite funny… as I was about to write the exact same post… day 70 here today. And I was wondering if the craving ever goes away? Typical Friday night feeling, or start of the weekend?! They say it gets easier and it is 1 day or sometimes 1 hour or even 1 minute at a time… and I feel that is true!
Besides remembering why you stop, also know it is all just temporary. Survive till tomorrow and be happy again, or survive 1 hour and the craving my go away!
And for me… sometimes just coming here and reading is enough to make me remember.
Either way: well done so far, enjoy it because it is special what we are all doing over here!
This is an amazing list. Keep it handy. Read it often. Keep coming here to post and to read. Post before you drink. We’re all here to encourage you and keep you accountable!
Yep, 1 day at a time… 165 here and today I do feel that pull too.
Gotta get back to what really count. Getting drunk, or everything were working for?
Tolerating the craving/ feeling is worth it, doesn it?
I guess i tried and failed every way you can imagine to keep alcohol in my life. Without a doubt i know that i cannot both live and drink, so my choice is simple. @Dutchbelgian Kevin yes the cravings go away, sometimes the thoughts are there but it isn’t a craving anymore. I have 489 days.
Great list! I can relate to how you’re feeling, especially the “fight in my head”. I’m constantly torn about quitting or cutting back. But cutting back never works. Here’s one thing I jotted down recently, and it’s so true: “When you give in to the drink, it robs you of your peace of mind.”
So true, as I’m back to Day 1. I’m on the verge, too. Let’s not give in and have our peace robbed today. Make tomorrow Day 11.
You’re welcome. I think I got that quote from a book I’m reading called “The 10-Day Alcohol Detox Plan” by Lewis David. I’m doing a restart. Day 1, third attempt. There is good stuff in the book about urge surfing, and a very good relaxation technique. I hope to truly start using these tools to help me stop giving in when I have “thought bombs”, as the author calls, those tempting thoughts that pop into our heads when we least expect it. I thought I’d mention the book in case you think it might be helpful to you, too.
@Quitintime
Thought bombs!! Love it.
I’ve always called them Mental Monsters.
I’ve been at day 1 more times than I can count.
In 2010 I stopped drinking for almost 4 years. Thought I had just convinced myself that I was an alcoholic because it was SO EASY for me to stop. So I took that first drink again and then again. Such a nasty grip that buzz has on us!
Thanks for the book recommendation, I’ll give it a look.
Mental Monsters. Good name for them!
I quit for two years around 2013 to 2015. Taking that first drink after two years of not drinking was the worst mistake I’ve ever made. Quitting is so much harder this time around for some reason. Alcohol has been a part of my life since I was a teen (except for those two years) and now I’m past my mid fifties. My dad quit after many years of drinking. I only ever saw him drink one time after quitting, and that was at a family function. After that, he never touched it again until the day he died. I wish I’d asked him how he found the strength to quit seemingly so easily. I’m sure it wasn’t, but he just never talked about the challenge of it.
Anyway, I’m rambling.
I hope you do find that book helpful. I’m going to finish it this time around, myself. Have a great rest of your night and congrats on sticking to your guns today! You and I will both be glad we did in the morning.
Day 259 for me today and I’m feeling the pull today too. I remembered someone in AA said… “There’s nothing going on that a drink won’t make worse” or something like that. Proud of you for reaching out!!
Congrats on staying strong. Best thing i like to do when I’m feeling pulled is keep my mind busy. Get active, so some puzzles, crosswords, projects around the home. Little things that keep your mind busy and distracted. Stay strong.
Thank you for this…many of things you mention I do not miss either, but also like you…I have to be very mindful because that whisper comes…and sometimes just won’t quit.
This morning I woke up annoyed from the day before (long story) and planned my day. Ran my errands and got ready for my walk…today, I brought money, and a mask…I was premeditating my relapse. Out the door I went…and I walked, walked some more, and then my phone rang…my husband happily calling me asking me if I wanted lunch. I told him no…and walk, I continued.
I walked 6.30 mile…and stopped. I stopped at the Italian Specialty shop in my neighborhood and bought a Parm cheese rind for soup making. It cost the total amount of cash I brought with me, and I walked into my house AF…I scared myself today, but I won…and you will continue to win too!
Stay your course my friend. You’re worth all the fight you got!
Im so glad for you @TudorDee!
I have also done the premeditated relapse. In fact, my son turns 21 in May. I’m really gonna have to work my way through that.
WE ARE WORTH IT!!
