Im angry! Im angry I can’t drink. Im pissed I don’t stop drinking till I black out. I’m pissed I ruined friendships, relationships, trust and love. When I’m happy I like to drink, when I’m sad I like to drink, when I’m angry I like to drink my anger away. I’m struggling today. I know one day angry and sober is better than one day angry and drunk. Any advice?
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Hi Kay, glad to see you. Posting about your feelings with complete honesty is a good start. I understand being angry. Alcohol is your go to for good times and bad times. Now you wonder what to do with yourself during these situations and it’s making you angry even thinking about it. You are in a good place coming here.
I suggest reading a lot of posts here. They are full of suggestions or tips. My thing was drugs rather than alcohol but to me recovery is recovery. How new are you? Do you have 24 hours or more? Early in recovery face to face helped me so much. I found a twelve step group I was comfortable with and listened to what worked for others.
Try to turn your anger to gratitude instead. Make a list of things you are grateful for. Today it might just be that you were able to post and ask for help. Tomorrow your list might grow. Anger burns you from the inside out and is caustic.
You say you damaged relationships. In recovery you learn how to have a healthy relationship with yourself and eventually it reflects on one’s with others.
I hope you stick around. Life in recovery is a beautiful thing. 
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I feel you. I hated the idea that anyone thought they could tell me how to live my life. I’m an adult, I’m in control, right? You can’t tell me what I can and can’t do. Well..I wasn’t in control. The drink was. I just thought I was doing what I wanted, even though toward the end I didn’t even really enjoy it anymore. Still I’d grab 3-4 high percentage tall boys nearly every day of the week. I’d not even remember conversations with my kids, I’d argue with my wife, I’d say dumb shit to my friends. No good actually came out of it. I’m only 24 days in so I’m definitely not seasoned at this, but I can say my life is already better sober than it was when I was drinking myself stupid every night. The problems were still there, I just wasn’t dealing with them.
You can only do it if you really want to do it. But you CAN do it. Stay strong, one day at a time.
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Thank you for replying I’m only 5 days in and trying my hardest to not convince myself I can control it. I really want a sober life. I guess I need to learn how to cope with my feelings better instead of pushing them aside. Congratulations on 24 days
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@Kay9vne Congratulations on your day 5 
, Keep stacking up more sober days and things will get better day by day
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My advice is that staying drunk is way harder. Sobriety can be/is hard, but life is Sooooo much easier. Just stay sober for today and tomorrow can sort itself out. Best wishes to you.
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Of all the things we may want in life, this is one that is totally achievable, and it can only be done by us. Noone else can do it for us. It’s just today, from waking up, til bedtime. You can totally do this. Read around, ask questions, connect with ppl here if you are craving, etc. You can do it. One day at a time.
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Welcome to this community…
You will find lots of support here, as you get into the habit of checking in regularly - try to check in and read around daily if you can.
5 days is awesome!
I’m 43 complete days in… and it’s been a real challenge. I don’t feel great really - but, I do feel grateful. I feel like I’m doing the most important thing I’ve ever done in my life.
Thanks for posting!
You can do this; we’re all here for you!
By the way, the number one thing that’s helping me, is staying connected to this community several times a day, every single day - especially when I’m triggered… I don’t always feel like it, but doing so is helping to keep me sober.
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Hey Kay, I don’t have any advice because I feel exactly like you do most days. All I can say you are not alone. It feels like it most times but we are in this together. Hang in there.
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In my experience getting sober is hard. Now that getting drunk is 4 years in the rearview mirror for me, staying sober is easier. I have a mental tape I play where I get spinny, vomit, yell, fall over, drive drunk and that keeps me sober. I’m one drink away from that person always. I’m not a fun drunk anymore, just a drunk. The fun has been sucked out of the experience. Keep with it.
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I feel for you. I’m 88 days sober and for the first month I was angry that was the only word I could use for it. I started talking with an addiction counselor once every two weeks and it really helped me more then just not drinking but actually figuring out why and also being able to name the emotions that trigger the anger. I’m in the construction industry and it was very hard to step outside of being the manly man and not just labeling the emotions I was having as just anger/ sadness but once I did that constant anger faded and was replaced with more understanding on the reasons that made me turn to alcohol. This is my first post and your storey was the first I read and man did it ever hit home for me. Thank you for sharing and I’m really happy to have stumbled on this community and to have found your post. Thank you
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Feel the anger, go to a smash park, write down your thoughts, feelings, and fears here or privately, yell, cry, go to bed really early. Do what you must to stay safe and sober just for today!
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Couple of things said when I first started that were very helpful were:
- Sobriety is like going to the gym. At first everything is hard - everything is heavy. Over time time those same weights become easier to lift and nothing feels as heavy…but what changed? The weights still weigh the same… What changed was you got stronger. Keep hitting the sober gym (AA, support groups, talking sober etc.) and your sober strength will increase. Commitment to the sober gym will create the strength.
- Sobriety is hard until it isn’t. Everyone’s timeframe is different but at some point you will realise that sobriety is no longer difficult. Why and how does this happen?… see the point above this one.
- BONUS: This one is mine, and it’s that commitment will always carry you further than enthusiasm. Enthusiasm fades and without commitment to what you’re doing you will not find the energy and drive to keep going at times. Get committed, seriously, to sobriety. Commit when it’s hard. Commit when you don’t want to. Commit to the future you want and deserve.
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This is an absolute golden nugget… I love it!
I feel like, in the past, I pursued sobriety when I was motivated to do it. But, as soon as that motivation/ enthusiasm faded - then, I put up ZERO fight.
Now, I know the meaning of being committed to sobriety - I haven’t really felt like it this whole time - but, I’m going to do the work to remain sober regardless to how I feel.
Awesome post overall; thanks a ton!
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Its ok to feel angry, at the beginning i was angry for a long time…very angry about literally everything…i took to screaming into pillows at one point, which is really therapeutic actually, its all completely normal…someone once told me that anger is a secondary emotion and so stems from something else…hurt…loss etc many emotions come up once we get sober and stop numbing everything…ride the waves and eventually you will come to a calm spot where you can begin dealing with the stuff that brought you here, we are all here with you friend so when shit gets tough come talk to us ok?
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Ethan, if you dont mind me saying…ive read alot of your posts now and i think you have approached your sobriety with a great attitude, i think your doing great! Staying connected here is paramount, its what made the difference to me and still is, if i struggle i come here and talk it out with people who understand, we cant do it alone
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Thanks for this @AyBee - I love these ! X
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Oh wow… that is super encouraging to hear.
Thank you so much! 
I have found this community (and the support within) to be the single most important thing in my pursuit of sober living.
I’m grateful for folks like you and others, who offer advice and insights when we’re all going through it.
I feel like it’s a privilege to be here, receiving and giving courage along with everyone else!
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It takes time, but the anger passes. For me, it ended when I realized sobriety added more to my life, while alcohol always made my life harder.
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