Staying Sober while at a Pub

I’ve been sober for a month today, and my boyfriend has been supporting me by not drinking as well. It’s his birthday week and he’s decided that he wanted to go on holiday, and drink at his favourite pubs. How on earth am I meant to stay sober when I’m surrounded by it? Constantly thinking ‘why can all these people drink and I can’t?’ It seems so impossible :frowning:

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Tell him happy birthday and have fun! Then take some you time. If he loves you it won’t be an issue. If he makes it an issue that you don’t go then you know he doesn’t love you and then he’s not worth your time.

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Then why even test it. If you go, and drink you’re not gonna have fun. If you go and don’t drink you’re not gonna have fun. If you don’t go and do as @Englishd suggested you will be removing yourself from temptation and getting into self care.

I’d tell him to have fun but I’m not comfortable doing that yet, have a great time.

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It would be impossible for me. Let him have his fun, skip it, and the 2 of you plan your own celebrtion.

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I am totally agreeing with the others. If that is how he wants to celebrate his birthday (but honestly, I’m old, I do not understand this whole birthday week trend) then he absolutely should but you shouldn’t be expected to be there.

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I’m at the pub now but am strict with myself that I’m not going to drink. I think I’d just feel guilty if I didn’t come out with him, since this pub was his dad’s favourite place. He passed away six months ago. Am I just being a pushover?

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He sounds like he is supportive of your sobriety :blush: so he should be able to understand any decisions you make. I second what everyone else said, arrange something for you two to do to celebrate and let him have his night at the pub without you. Wish him a good time and use the time to do something for you. Your sobriety is too important to be tested by something you are already uncomfortable with

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Have a cranberry juice on the rocks with a lime, looks like a cocktail, if you don’t want to talk about getting sober and say you are boyfriends driver for the night so he can party if people offer shots etc. It’s hard to bow out of situations like that.

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Also you’re sober for a reason. They haven’t found their reason yet so don’t look at it like you’re behind everybody look at it like you’re ahead of them.

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You aren’t old. Or I am too I guess… Bc it just doesn’t make any sense to me.

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Same. I don’t even acknowledge my day let alone a week.

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I couldn’t do it. When it comes to your recovery you really have to make yourself your number one priority.

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Feeling guilty is for lack of a better term, asinine.

What’s more important, your sobriety or someone else’s expectations of you?

People can be remembered in many ways, and for someone who is struggling to stay sober a bar or pub is definitely not the right way.

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I really appreciate this guys. I’ll be perfectly fine tonight but I’ll try to talk to him tomorrow and hope he understands. You’ve all really helped me to remain sober. Thank goodness that today is one month, and not day one again :slight_smile:

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Me either, and all you Birthday Weekers better stay off my lawn.

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I remember when I thought quitting booze meant missing out on life. Then I caught a clue and realized it is the drunk, regular or occasional variety, who are missing out on life.

I don’t wake up wishing I could drink and party and have a good time. I get up ready to win.

And I am winning.

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On my birthdays now my wife and i go to the pensioners cream tea at our local hotel and its half price if your over 65 , now thats a birthday treat lol keep on trucking

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I would remember that there never is “can’t”. We all have choices. You CAN make the choice to drink. But think it through. “Play the whole movie” as some people here have said. What good will come from drinking. For us who are here…absolutely nothing. It will only bring pain and heartache. So why would you WANT to drink. Keep that thought. It isn’t that you can’t drink, it is that you choose not to drink. When you change the attitude you may find that it is easier to resist.

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