Hi all, so I am in the middle of of step 4 and wanted to check in. Today was a really intense day day. A roller coaster of emotions - sadness, anger, joy…
Different any of you go through such a carnival of good vibes during your ride through this step?
Thank you for sharing your experience.
I haven’t gotten to the fourth step yet, I just started working them. But a few of my friends told me that step 4 was very emotional for them and was like a breakthrough. It’s been the most impactful step for them so far. I’m eager to see how i will be when i get there
I was a hot, nasty, obsessive puddle of goo during step 4. Couldn’t stop crying, was irritable as hell, was mad that I had to do it, didn’t see the point…and it got worse as a got ready for step 5.
The night I did my step five? I felt like a giant weight was gone. It sounds really dramatic and like an overstatement, but I felt honest for the first time in my adult life. I felt the huge burden of secrecy and shame that I had carried for so long lift. Now, I am able to look at my past as a reminder as to why I cannot drink again - and a motivator for living a better life.
I think everything you are feeling is normal. My advice? Be as thorough and honest as you possibly can be. That stuff that you thought you’d take to your grave? List it. The stuff that makes you feel more broken and screwed up than anyone else on earth? The stuff that makes you feel like no one would love you if they knew? Talk about it. Resentments that don’t even seem connected to your drinking? List them. I learned more from step 4 and 5 than I did from years of therapy. It literally changed my life.
Be brave, and good luck!
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Thank you for sharing your experience and your insight. I am truly grateful.
I am doing step 5 this afternoon. I am ready and willing to let it all up. I will let you know how it goes.
Thank you again.