I still find it scary though. I’ve lived my whole life being a closed book, hiding my pain and suppressing emotions and the idea of telling someone my story terrifies the hell out of me. But it’s a relief just finding out that someone was once scared but worked the steps nevertheless. I too don’t have to be scared. Thank you
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I needed to hear this. It’s step 5 that led me to ask about this in the first place coz I feel like I’ll be lying to myself if I do it on my own. And although I have someone who I can tell all my issues, I don’t trust them enough to admit the nature of my wrongdoing because they haven’t walked down this road of addiction. I don’t think they’d understand which is why I should make finding a sponsor a priority
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I think another recovering addict understand us better than anyone. Thats kind of where the magic starts. Its very important to trust though. You cant trust everyone who will approach you at a meeting. You have to get to know them. Its ok to make people earn your trust.
Part of recovery is setting healthy boundaries. Just because someone has been sober for a couple of years, and is willing to sponsor doesn’t mean they are qualified. Spend time with them. Make sure they live what they talk. Break the Ice with your smaller issues. Talk about them while they earn your trust. After they have earned your trust tackle the big issues.
I was scared shitless to open up. Now I could talk about my biggest issues at the podium of and AA meeting in front of alot of strangers. They no longer have any power over me. I’m not that person anymore.
That what working the steps has given me. Freedom of the bondage of self.
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Great words on this to all. All I know is self sponsorship leaves no one to bounce thoughts & feelings off of and that is hazardous as shit.
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I’ve never met my sponsor bc of covid, we do everything via WhatsApp and phone calls, not only will you end up with a sponsor but lots of other alcoholic or addicts phone numbers, we call this your support network and it’s suggested you speak to at least 2 a day just for a quick chat. We don’t have to do this alone and a good sponsor is there to tell you what to do the right way not the way we think. My best thinking always got me drunk so I don’t think anymore I take actions on a daily basis and so far so good.
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I too have a super busy schedule and I have found that The 12 Steps to Recovery on Spotify helps me to understand the 12 steps better. He is thorough and explains it very well and I can listen to it in the car which works well for me! Maybe you could start with something like that.
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I’m sure others have done it. But i have never personally seen it work. A sponser is more than a guide through the steps, they are a friend, they are a confidant, a person to lean on when shit is rough, and will call you on your bullshit and keep you accountable. I call my sponser daily. We meet weekly. He gives me reading assignments from my Big Book as well as writing assignments to accomplish weekly. Then when we meet we read back through my weekly reading and go over my writing. That is working the steps. Imo, you can’t get through step 4 without a sponser. It’s ugly and needs a person that you trust, thatbhas been through it, to do it in full honesty. In chapter 1, Bill’s story, it’s not until he meets Ebby (the first sponser) that he is able to finally hold on to sobriety. I highly recommend finding one. There are meetings 24 hours a day in person or online. Imo you will be glad you did. Hope this helps.
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You can do meetings online and find a sponsor that way , as for doing the steps by yourself in my opinion that doesn’t work I needed my sponsor to show me the parts that played in my resentments for other people, I needed my sponsor to show me some of my defects of character because I could see past my own ego , I needed my sponsor to show me who to make amends to and who not to make amends too because we could do a lot more damage there
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My program hasn’t been a 12-step model (which is the classic model of sponsorship) but it has been a group model. My advancements in my sobriety, my evolution and growth, could never have happened without input from someone else who had been there.
In my group I met men between the ages of 30 and 80 who had been through the full spectrum of their addictions. These men were able to share with me insights that helped me grow, emotionally, psychologically, into the man I am today.
There are many ways to grow. But the basic nature of human growth and learning is that none of us can do it alone.
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