Still Achieving Sobriety after 50?

In realizing addiction/alcoholism discriminates against no one, I’m putting this out there to see if there is anyone interested in this topic, or if there already is one for those over 50. I’m not wanting to make a separation in the community just an avenue to learn that we can still fight and obtain sobriety after 40+ years of trying. I am open to any feedback. Thank you!

3 Likes

@Sassyrocks…Hi and thank you for sharing that! I love this site and am finding that sometimes it helps to know at this age it IS possible so long as I keep going forward and I get stronger as the years have gone by. I like how you put it- just keep quitting- the bad habits of course. I come from an entire family of drinkers and some druggers also. Most all are passed already. I began at 13 back then it seemed that’s what we all did. In 96 I had my first stretch of sober living of 4 years. Like you, I stopped during pregnancies. I’ve had a year hear and two there. The past 5 years have been deep counseling and self help. I just can’t get past a good 25-30 days anymore. I did begin a new program someone on here suggested and I love it- it’s too soon but I think it’s going to be my “clicker” and Aha tool- finally. WFS. Women For Sobriety. So reaching out to others such as yourself and hopefully more, is another tool of inspiration. Just keep quitting- that’s going to stick with me. Thank you again :blush:

1 Like

Hi @WhiteDoves. I’m in my 50’s. I’ve never made a serious attempt at stopping drinking before this. Had 2 relapses but been sober about 154 months in total now. Health is always something to look out for at this age. I take vitamins and supplements, and try to eat balanced. Had health problems with BP and weight when drinking, now BP is normal, no acid reflux, and lost a lot of my weight. Feel 10 years younger just from that!

5 Likes

Hi ,@JohnSee … thank you. See, this is real helpful for me. The health aspect especially. I work closely with my dr. and due to me being strong willed, I have directed that towards discipline rather than giving in. Starting the 2 week challenge on here has been a great kick off for me getting moving and keeping committed to 2 small goals, luckily I was very athletic and active all of my life and I have grandkiddies also that I want to be healthy for and it comes down to this for me- I have the tools and education and for now on line support. It’s time for me to get realistic and stop these once or twice a month one day relapses. It’s so frustrating but I know I can do it. I want it and I am determined. Your feedback is very helpful. You have a great night!

2 Likes

You sound so strong @Sassyrocks!
Happy you found a way and I know I will. 'Nite :slightly_smiling_face:

1 Like

Great and wise words @Sassyrocks! It was nice if you to post that and I thank you. Poison- yes. You have a great night also!

1 Like

I’ll join the gang of 50 somethings :joy: . Looking back, I’ve been a functioning alcoholic for 20 odd years , a bottle of wine pretty much every night. About 2 years ago, I started drinking after work at 5 , so that meant 2 bottles , and that just escalated from there. Ended up in rehab, still didn’t get it :confused: this disease really is a tenacious mo fo! Anyways I’m 36 days now, and the biggest motivation this time around is my grandchildren. It makes me feel so sad to think of the time I’ve missed. All so I could ‘enjoy’ a drink. But, onwards and upwards and happy days ahead.

4 Likes

Doves,
I am a little out of the range we’re discussing (47), but I got sober at 43. I started when I was 15, so a 28 year career. The hard part is the habit of drinking.
Best,
Chandler

5 Likes

Good morning @SallyD! Thank you for the share- I wasn’t sure if it would be a useful question or thread but a part of my determination is to lose fear and brave up- and try with no holdbacks, all the way around! Oh yes the grandchildren are such a great and important motivator along with many others. Until I recently “got it” to look ahead and don’t stare back, I thought if I get sober I’d realize how many precious moments, people, days, and even relationships that were wasted by my drinking. So I join in these last 4 years more so the past year to allow that darkness to teach me the way to the light. It has taken years but after being injured from working physical labor- hard physical labor the past 20 years major lifestyle changes took place and I wasn’t ready for that. Now, I defy the pain and refuse to let that be an excuse for not learning a new way to live healthy with some physical limitations. I see so many others accomplish this with much more serious physical challenges than mine. This app has led me to so much strength and motivation. I’m happy you are a part of that today and again I say thank you- it matters in a big way!! Have a great day :blush::blush:

1 Like

Hi @Chandler13 :slightly_smiling_face:. Thank you for popping in and sharing. I chose 50 because it is hard to meet sober people to begin with and a bit tougher to meet over 50’s still “active in the struggle” it seems by this point I keep meeting men and women who are either in sobriety longevity or not desiring to be. So this is a tool I’m adding in to support my determination to become abstinent with happiness. 4 years was my longest time in sobriety and I want that back for the rest of how ever long my life will be! I commend you on your successful way to living healthy and every time I read of someone else who did it I get that much more inspired. Have a real nice day!

2 Likes

@SallyD - 47?! get off my lawn you young whippersnapper!

2 Likes

Hi all, 48 here, stopping in to say hi, drinking since high school. Did a sober stint in 2010 for a little over 1 1/2 years then picked it up again in 2011. From there it progressed to the point where for the last 2 years I would black out just about every night. Was always home when that happened.

Functioning alcoholic / alcohol abuser. Sober since 1/1/2017. Completed 88 days yesterday. Cravings are hardly there now. I kinda envision having a drink sometimes but I know for a fact that one drink isn’t going to cut it and that will lead to disaster. I have drank enough to know that I don’t want it / don’t need it anymore.

Hope all is well with everyone. Have a great day.

Steve

4 Likes

@Ace1 wow- great realization! I am so happy to be putting away excuses and bringing out reality and the nerve to reach out in a pro active manor. For me it came very recently of just how negative and self defeating I have been while the whole time believing I was in a positive thinking mode. How awakening for me. I just read in my latest tool “Control less Trust more”. I have been mistaken love and concern. It really was a way of control but I never realized that. Also codependency is something I also mistook for love and caring (for others).
I still have a lot to learn but in a whole new light- finally! Thank you :slightly_smiling_face:

2 Likes

I welcome feedback as always but not necessary.
Tonight is a prime example of my struggle.
I have 3 adult and very grown children. My eldest is 38 and has 2 MOST BEAUTIFUL
Children, my grandchildren. I have watched (babysat) these two loves for 4 years now and from the heart. They had a wreck mid January and everything had changed.
I have not only tried so hard to remain sober (no fault of theirs at all), and I am in a really good place right now. I had a conversations with all of my adult kids today which happens very rarely. Each having great things happening except for my eldest. Details are not necessary. But venting is.
My eldest, out of complete frustration told me outright that nothing is my business and I am overstepping my boundaries. Since their wreck he is so different. He ended with I have no business in their lives and I cause trouble. This would be a huge reason for me to drink in the past. For some reason, I know that won’t help and I don’t want to for the first time in a conflict with especially my eldest. I believe he was venting out on me.
My daughter is in the Navy, 2nd Class PO. My son of 29 is in a most fabulous re entry program in Az. For my eldest to hang up on me 3 times made me think of what he and my daughter in law must be going through at this time.
See, in the past I would be passed out and blacked out. Because of the open support and quiet and private support I understand not to take personally any of the really hurtful things my eldest said to me tonight. I let him vent and I ate it. It didn’t feel good but that’s what we learn as we go along the sobriety path. Thank you guys for letting me release. Phew!

2 Likes

There will always be challenges, that is life. How or if you react…totally up to you. So glad you chose wisely. Live your life and keep it simple.

:slight_smile:

2 Likes

I go to meetings a lot and it’s extremely common to meet older folks who retired and their problem escalated. I always found it interesting. They were all drinkers during their working years and when they retired they found too much time on their hands with no plan.

1 Like

So appreciated. Sincerely. That’s part of where I am realizing that what I think is love is often received as control with my adult children. Thankfully I now can think about how to react in my time and comfort zone and know I’m not being selfish. Thank you @sassyrocks.

1 Like

Yeah @Kevin21… I’m in the fall in the crack place. Always have been but at this early stage the more people I talk with the more avenues I get opened up to me. They may not bring resolve but they show me I have gone out and tried to make my life better.

@WhiteDoves hi I am 50 getting ready to turn 51 one think I have noticed after being clean and sober for 27 years is that I am no further from a drink or drug as I was the day I stopped. Some days I will find myself in a bad mood and I will start to talk myself into drinking. By saying it’s been 27 years I can handle one drink. To make matters worse I suffer from chronic kidney stones so once every couple months I will start passing one. I am a long distance truck driver. By the time I get home or to were I am going it means a trip to the hospital because I feel like I am going to die. That means lot of narcotics. The.
new pain meds that are none opioid based don’t work on me. From then until I pass it I am on the meds. Can’t take them and drive that’s not cool. Then it’s two weeks of withdraws. That’s when I found this site and app. Thank god.

2 Likes

Sounds like he has some stuff of his own to deal with, and you may be right, hes just using you to vent. Hard, but that’s what us parents are here for sometimes! Its good that you were in a sober state to listen and I think you did a great thing to just roll with it :speak_no_evil: and to not be triggered is a real bonus. For me it’s really difficult to look back and see the pain I must have inflicted :confused:. My 3 are also quite grown up, 31, 29 and 27. Different reactions from each. Eldest daughter has been surprisingly reticent, she has been the most ‘vocal’ about my drinking for years (saw the problem before I did ) second daughter arrived with bunch of flowers and gave me a big hug. Son said well done. He lives at home, but has just bought a house and if he’s not there, doing it up hes at girlfriend’s. He hardly spoke when I saw him. Now we actually chat again. I know and accept that it’s going to be a while before I get some trust back. Other fab thing is second daughter is now popping in with my 2 beautiful grandchildren and I am back on babysitting rota :yellow_heart: . Maybe that’s why she bought me flowers :joy: . Stay strong, the best is yet to come :sunflower:

2 Likes