Stopped myself from buying more

So first it was opiates few weeks ago to be done with those. Now I added stims to that as of Saturday. The energy boost helped keep focus with work since being in the essential job area is busy work at times.

Being today is my Monday when I logged in it was like how do I focus… I’m not a coffee person. I’m a tea person. So I started with tea.

Then I was like… Maybe I should just take a look at the DN market… Next thing I know I basically have the order ready to place for another 25 presses…

I paused.

Canceled. Said nope nope nope. Brain is still recovering.

Closed tor.

Gotta adapt. Drink coffee beans straight up if need be.


Forgive my ignorance…what’s the DN market?

After I stopped drinking alcohol I noticed that I was drinking way more caffeine. I’ve been trying to limit myself so that doesn’t turn into an addiction also.

I think my caffeine increase happened because I’ve been much more productive in my sobriety but the caffeine/energy stuff can definitely become a slippery slope.

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DN is dark net, parts of the internet where ordering illegal drugs is cheap and reliable. It is too easy to buy stuff there and honestly @Nealj121 you can be proud of yourself! As you have cut opiates out of your life you are likely somewhat familiar with recovery. I have also had a problem with daily amphetamine/stimulant consumption but with time I realized it’s not hard to stay away from that at all; getting focus and energy is a product of good sleep, regular exercise, fruits, lots of water, walks and meditation. Stimulants take a lot of energy, and even in the high of pure attention and fast activity, one is actually just feeling as if one is productive. In reality, stimulants take such a toll on natural motivation, I cannot (since a long time) see any reason to take these class of drugs. Except medically supervised of course. Are you completely sober now or are there other drugs apart from stims and opiates you use?


I’ve started drinking coffee with sobriety too, but I think mine has more to do with the fact that I’m no longer hungover and nauseated in the mornings.
Only two cups a day though, which is a lot for me but probably not that much in the grand scheme of things :upside_down_face:

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Good for you. You’re doing great. Does it help for you to think about the bad experiences you’ve had buying from DNMs?

That’s not bad at all! I hadn’t thought about the fact that I’m not nauseous in the morning anymore being a factor, which it definitely is…

My new routine is to workout in the morning so I take my preworkout supplement which has caffeine then I work nights and I try to limit myself to one or two large cups of coffee at the most.

I posted it somewhere else on here a while ago but I can’t remember where or when…A while back I was listening to a podcast about coffee and it said they had discovered that caffeine stays in your bloodstream for over 12 hours. So they said it’s best to stop your caffeine intake midway through the day if you want good sleep.

Yeah my doc ages ago, the one that turned into one of those docs that stares at a criminal addict and not a patient, said to stop drinking caffeine by 4pm. This was to try and fix my Insomnia that is pretty much genetic. Both sides of my family have sleep issues so I just gave up. I do cut it out around 5 or 6 tho but mainly to reduce chances of heart burn at night.

I barely slept last night. Kept waking up feeling oddly and uncomfortably warm. Initially I thought it was cause I’m reducing my benzo use but this morning I totally realized I haven’t been taking my 600mg Lyrica daily. Been so distracted that 2 days no Lyrica… Oops. I moved my meds into am boxes by my computer and pm boxes in my room. Well I covered up the am ones and totally forgot.

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Yep, I never drink it after noon

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