I too keep a list of why I don’t drink…it helps me a lot. Sometimes a quick walk around the block or a half hour of downtime in my bedroom helped a lot in the beginning.
I am sorry for your boyfriend’s Mom’s loss, but you need to take care of YOU. Drinking is only going to make you feel worse about it all and add to your stress.
Here is my list to get you started…
Waking up regret free each morning.
No hangovers ever!!
Treating husband with respect and no drunk fighting
Self respect gets a major boost
No more internal conflict about drinking and if/how can I cut down or stop
Restful restorative uninterrupted sleep!!!
Major pride in myself and all that I have and can accomplish
A sense of peace and calm
No more embarrassment and shame because of my behavior
Forgiving myself for past mistakes and terrible judgement
No wondering what I did or how I hurt husband or others while drunk
No treating people I love, including myself, poorly while drunk
No drunk driving and possibly hurting self or others or jail
No upset stomach from drinking
No anxiety and near constant agitation when hungover
No dark suicidal thoughts
No shame around neighbors if I was loud and yelling or loud music
No blackouts ever
No overwhelming shame at my behavior
No oversharing with strangers while drunk or making plans I will need to cancel
Not having to check my phone in the middle of the night to delete social media posts - no drunk texting/emails/posts/calls
Not be bloated and puffy and look haggard
Clear skin and eyes
Major pride in myself and a boost in self esteem
No hangovers ever again
No more excuses or lies
Being present for family and friends
Being the strongest/most loving/caring me possible
Peace of mind - a true sense of peace with myself and life