Once, after a bad drinking spree, when I had started early to sober up later, I woke to find I had not picked up the kids, much less fed them, but had broken both the washing machine and the towel rail. The washing machine was at least 15 years old, and too small, so we needed a new one anyway, plus we had to do washing, so we got another straight away. The towel rail my husband duct-taped some old chopsticks to and left it. That towel rail has been a reminder every time I took a bath or shower for the last how many months of one of the worst things I have ever done. How could I leave the kids waiting? What if my husband had come home late? I hated the fucking sight of the damn thing, but didn’t dare mention getting a new one. Last week in a shop there was a cheap towel rail, and my husband suggested we get it. It felt like a gesture of good faith, a wave of relief and happiness came over me. And now every time I take a shower or bath I remember I am not that person anymore, and I never have to be again.
I know that feeling. I totalled my car on my last day of drinking and there it sat in my driveway to remind me every day. It made me sick. I couldn’t bare to ask my husband to pay to have it towed away. And he was sure to throw it in my face constantly for 3 months. Finally got it towed and it was a big weight lifted off my shoulders. We can’t change the past. It’s behind you now and you and I never have to look at that shit again.
I loved your story.
That was the best towel rail story I’ve ever heard! There is healing. There is hope!
Im glad nothing happened to the children. I guess God watched them for you that day. We all do stupid things when we are drunk. That is why we can’t go back there ever again. It’s just not worth the risk. My husband was ready to leave me and file for divorce until I joined AA one week ago today. I too, feel happier sober than i ever did drunk. Reading the AA Big Book has been a real eye opener for me and from what i understand, millions of other people.