New here. I’ve been struggling on and off for a while and I was just looking for tips on what maybe has worked for y’all. I’m highly empathetic and sensitive to being around other people and I was at a work thing yesterday with several hundred people. It was too much energy for me. Maybe an odd off one to ask, but if anyone else is affected similarly, I’d appreciate it.
I know my friend wants to do trivia night next week at a bar and I’d like to be stronger than the taste of whiskey. Any tips there are helpful too.
Thanks y’all. Sorry if this is wrong to post. It’s my first one :o
Alcohol isn’t my DOC but I am also sensitive to crowds. More than once I’ve either left early or not attended an event because I didn’t want to overwhelm myself. The only thing about these events that’s interesting to me is the people I go with, so to keep things at a healthy energy level for me, I do one on one and small group things: I invite friends for walks in the forest; I host murder mysteries at my home (those are lots of fun and because I’m in character for the mystery it weirdly is less intimidating); I get people together for small barbecues at parks.
Pay attention to what your heart and your feelings are saying, and don’t be shy to ask for what you need. Your feelings will guide you right and if you remember what’s important for you to be healthy, you’ll be ok.
I’m similar, I pick up in peoples energies. If you are instant on going to trivia night ( and alcohol isn’t too much of a temptation) there are a few things that I did on my first sober weekend. I told the people I was going with I wasn’t drinking. So it didn’t surprise them but it held me accountable. I ordered fun non-alcoholic drinks and I really didn’t feel left out. If you are going with a close friend they should be empathetic to you and just accept you not drinking. That being said, if you feel like you might be tempted skip this on. Go to the next one, when you are feeling a little more sturdy in your sobriety. Also feel free to reach out if you need support
So my issue there is I feel awful letting people down. I haven’t seen my friend in a few weeks and I promised I’d go to it like a month ago so…
I may try and ask if she can hold me accountable. Unfortunately they don’t have fruity drinks to try, but I will load up on seltzer or tonic because it has that bite to it a bit.
I get that. I am very similar. You are allowed to be a little selfish if not attending is what you need. Also it’s important that you hold yourself accountable for not drinking. That is amazing if she is supportive of your sobriety and can help. I’m not a fruity drink girl either. I like ginger beer ( like fever tree) it has no alcohol. Or ginger ale or sparkling water with a bunch of lime. Maybe you guys could meet up somewhere besides a bar so you don’t have to feel like you are letting her down and there won’t be the additional stress of a crowded bar. Don’t be afraid to let people down, you deserve support and empathy for your sobriety and journey too
Try all the things you haven’t yet buddy… Meditating, changing your daily routine, fitness, therapist/psychologist, opening up more to those around you, researching lots what to do in your shoes on youtube, google etc, being mindful and asking yourself lots of questions for clarity, join clubs/groups/organizations of interest… And be honest with others and yourself. What do you want and why? What will or might it take? How much do you love yourself and your life? We’re always 100% here for you @The_Wilder_Spirit!
Honestly for me I have to pass on a lot of work outing I work at a restaurant so when everyone gets out it’s let’s go to the bar and I wanna be strong but it’s not the right environment for me at this time doesn’t mean you have to stay home all the time but sometimes you just have to say no I’m going home.good luck
We have to remember its our life our sobriety thats at stake, no body can be held accountable for our actions but ourselves when i put that in the hands of another person i usually go out in a tail spin. If you think you can make it through the night without drinking could have a great time.
I appreciate all your help. I made it 27 days full this time around. My mind won tonight and I fell. I truly appreciate making it to 27. I took your advice that night and avoided my friend politely. 27 is nonetheless still a healthy start although I was shooting too high at 60 days living in a bad place.I wish there was a way to quiet my mind.
Hi. I was strict with myself in early recovery. I just didn’t go out. Once I was stronger in my recovery I started going out and being around alcohol again. I felt it was too risky for me and you know what they say, you sit in a barber shop long enough and you’re bound to end up with a haircut.
It’s only in the first year or so of recovery that you need to avoid the temptation. Sobriety isn’t about staying away from alcohol forever. It’s about learning to live a normal life despite the fact that alcohol may be present. But first you need to get stronger in recovery before that happens. And remember, we didn’t become alcoholic overnight, so we don’t recover overnight. Easy does it.
That’s known as FOMO…fear of missing out. But what are you missing out on? The last of my drinking days consisted of vomiting, hangovers, guilt, shame, remorse and self-loathing.
Turns out what I was really missing out on was a whole new life I would have denied myself had I succumbed to the FOMO
Meditating, changing your daily routine, fitness, therapist/psychologist, opening up more to those around you, researching lots what to do in your shoes on youtube, google etc, being mindful and asking yourself lots of questions for clarity, join clubs/groups/organizations of interest… And be honest with others and yourself. What do you want and why? What will or might it take? How much do you love yourself and your life? We’re always 100% here for you 
