Struggling and bored

I’m struggling to enjoy my sober life. Trying really hard to find things to do but I’m not motivated. It’s nice not being hung over or wondering who I texted last nigh.

When I’m drinking I really get into music. TV is funny. I have the courage to talk to people I haven’t in a long time. I am content being at home. Bars are exciting.

I took a vacation to Chicago after two weeks sober and I just wanted to drink. Went through the motions of going to museums but ended up at the bars.

I’m forcing myself to go running, play games… There must be something wrong with me. At ten days again and just trying to find anything to be excited about.

@Nullcorp If you don’t mind,how long have you drank for? Gives us a better idea where you’re at.

I had been binging twice a week for about a year, less frequently before then when I had roommates. Done way too many stupid things hammered.

The binge thing is hard to get past. Your body expects you to keep doing it. You will have to stand up to that AV in your head. It’s not going to be easy and it’s going to suck. You have to get through a couple of cycles to show yourself you can do it,then you will start to believe that you can do this. Hang out here,so many people here with great info and experience.


Just keep grinding on, learn from your setbacks and keep comming back to the forum and checking in :smiley: Its good to see you still want this even though you drank on vacation, if that was me i would still be out there drinking until i ended up in the hospital again.


Steve, may I ask how or why you ended up in hospital?

Haven’t been on here since April.

i landed myself in the hospital on three separate occasions because of my insane amount of drinking. First time was because i thought i gave myself alcohol poisoning or something because i couldn’t stop shaking and couldn’t get an ounce of sleep without drinking for weeks (didn’t know anything about withdrawals or anything at the time). At the time the Dr. said i needed to just try my best to sleep and take melatonin or something (i obvioulsy didnt tell him the truth about how much i was drinking at the time). So that same night, i had zero money, my credit cards and drivers liscense were taken away by my family and i thought it would be a bright idea to drink about a half bottle of isopropyl alcohol. Within 15 mins of drinking it, i had horrific symptoms wich included things i would not want to share because of the graphic nature of them… I thought i was going to die. The paramedics came to my house and i begged them not to let me die and the whole ambulance ride to the hospital i was throwing up that rubbing alcohol…the dr’s told me that i could have killed myself instantly with the amoutn i drank… they put me in the psychiatric ward on suicide watch for about 4 days and then moved me to the detox center. I got sober for about 3 months after that but eventually picked up a drink on my birthday in october of 2016. I drank on the weekends, then slowly started drinking after work on fridays, then every day after work then i stopped showing up to work all together and was drinking about 4-6 pints of fireball everyday. Drove about 20 miles to and from a casino in a total black out and when i got home my family brought me to the e.r and they admitted me to detox yet again. Havnt had a drink since then, Dec 1, 2016. Thanks @NH2015 for asking i needed to write some of that out again… over 8 months without a drink and i am thankful i can still remember all of that like it was yesterday…


Steve,dont dwell on that stuff too much,but then again don’t let it too far away. It will serve you. As they say “Keep your friends close,Keep your enemies closer.” Glad you are still with us.

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Anhedonia (the clinical term for the absence of pleasure or interest) is a pretty common symptom of the ennui/depression that goes along with early sobriety. I found that it did pass for me eventually. Do you think you want new hobbies outside of the ones you had when you drank?

It takes some time to figure out who you really are and what you really like. In my case everything revolved around alcohol so I had no idea what my real hobbies and interests were. Try new stuff. I go on Groupon under things to do and try different stuff all the time. I have found a deep love and passion for hot yoga. Never liked yoga before I was sober now I go 4-5 times a week. Be open to all experiences you’ll find your thing :slight_smile:

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I’ve been trying. I got a new cat and he’s great but just sort of there. Mostly when I get home I just waste time until bed. So jealous of people with hobbies they’re passionate about.

I signed up for an improv class starting next month. I blew a grand on Chicago wanting an adventure and it was just okay. Have bought a lot of books I only started, watched an episode or two of various shows.

It’s not just sobriety. I think the reason I drink is because I’m so bored it brings some chaos to my life in addition to chilling me out. The feeling is great, at least for the time being. I’ve thrown up at home several times drinking too much.

Wow, what a journey. I think remembering what brought you here (to a good place) isn’t a bad thing. Sounds pretty dangerous. Thank you very much for sharing. Keep up the forward looking attitude!

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8 months is awesome! Don’t give up! I had 4.5 and blew it. Have to refocus.

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Thank you, I can relate. It takes extreme focus and relaxation to actually feel the air against my face or the ground under my feet.

I’m constantly thinking about my mortality and how I’m wasting life working. When I’m at work I just want to go home. When I have free time there’s pressure internally to make the best of it. Honestly my favorite thing to do is lay in bed.

Every trip, every attempt at dating, every failed hobby just ends up being a waste of time. Even on hangover days I asked myself, what else would I be doing?

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@louwho, thanks for giving me a good idea to explore.

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