Just had a shit day. Work was terrible, had a date cancel last second, friends bailed on me too, binge ate, and my depression was overall just on overdrive today even before all of that. Really really really wanna cut. It feels like the only thing right now that would make me feel better. And it feels familiar. In a messed up way leaving your addiction feels like leaving a friend, and I feel alone without it.
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I feel you. When I quit alcohol it felt like a break up with my best friend. The first weeks/months I was mourning about it. Feeling aggitated, stressed, anxious, depressed, etc.
I had to built up new coping stategies instead of drinking and that takes a while. So try to distract yourself with something. Maybe go for a walk or watch Netflix or going to bed early?
Thank you for the comment and for understanding. It feels weird to say I see my addiction like this so it helps a lot to get some empathy. I’ve tried my best to distract myself. Exercise, watching tv/movies, video games, baths, calling friends, I’ve tried it all to distract myself from what I want to do.
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You can find more treads about your addiction by using the 
above. Keep on going, it’s getter easier when your days builts up.
I thought alcohol was my best friend. Alcohol never judged me for my choices. Alcool kept me warm. But alcohol lies. Alcohol convinced me to do bad thing that not only harm myself but also others.
I suspect the blade is the same for yo. It is only something familiar. Something that will distract you from your hurts and your fears. But that blade with only bring you more pain and suffering.
Post here. We are your friends. We love you.
YOU CAN DO IT.
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Try making a gratitude list. It will help make you think of positive things and remind you it might not be as bad as it seems.
How far along in recovery are you?
One of the greatest strategies is to surround yourself with people like you. People who suffer with cancer or other life changing diseases get strength from other people suffering the same. Alcoholism is not something we can tackle on our own. But we can do it together.
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I find alot of comfort in writing. Physically writing on paper helps get my using thoughts or any other negatives out of my mind and onto something that I can hold onto and look at. It also helps for me to burn the pages after writing at times too. It’s almost like you just have to let those thoughts go from that point. Good luck and I hope all is well. You’re not alone!!