Struggling right now

Going on day 3 of not drinking… im struggling hard right now. My husband is such a narcissistic dick that i have started tracking daily things he says to me so he cant turn it around somehow someday. I know its like get a divorce and move on. Its not that easy and its a whole other conversation. I just want a drink, smoke and to drift away for awhile. Im so unhappy.

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Can you get to a meeting? Or go to a cafe where you can sit, drink coffee, and people watch? You might want to leave just to get away from the negativity.

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I kept busy most the day until i came home and like many grown men he was playing PS4 since he didnt work today so i hung out in bedroom and I will be leaving in a little bit to get coupons (im a couponer so i buy inserts from sellers lol). Unfortunately, there are no little cafes or anything small around to get away and i dont know anyone except co workers since i moved from IL to TX i dont even have a friend to go to.

If your willing there are meetings everywhere. You could google meetings in your area. There is where you can meet people in person who are going thru simpler situations.
Shes right keeping yourself away from the negitivly is key! Have you ever tryed meditation music? Its something that helps me when I’m in moods
Ill paint my nails, take a long bubble bath with candles& music!

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Yes baths with candles and try a guided meditation on YouTube, first five min your mind will still face but give it time! You will get relaxed!

Yes i am going to look into meetings around the area. I ruined my 3 days about an hour ago. Im so disappointed but i was so mad and went blank and just went. Wtf.

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Thank you. I am going to look into meetings tomorrow and work at being a better me. I am so better than this and i feel like such a failure right now on even just 3 days. 3 days to anyone i talk to in person is like “ok and what? I never drink bc blah blah” all i get is people comparing. Not trying to compare bc we all have our own story. I try looking into virtual type like this esp with my work schedule but you are waiting on responses.

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I feel your pain. I just hit the 5 day mark (again). I am feel so irritated & unhappy. I can’t wait for this to pass…

I know EXACTLY how you feel,no husband wife. Can never do anything right in her eyes. Kids told me divorce her 10 yrs ago.l just keep telling myself she’s not gona f…k up bettering myself for her!! Not gona let her be the reason I reset my clock😤 91 days & gone keep taking it day at a time,one problem at a time!! Don’t let him win HANG IN THERE make TOMORROW another day to say I’ve made it through one more night

I feel the same way sometimes. We have started to go to counselling, where I can talk to him in a safe space about all of the hurtful things he says and does and he has to listen. It’s really helping. He’s also decided to be sober with me, but we’ll see how long that lasts. I’m on day 3 too… I started to think about wine after work so I made myself do a little workout and then I cracked a Diet Coke. I made myself remember the shame and pain that comes with binge drinking and hangovers. It helped. I am finding I need to stay busy to keep the booze off the brain. We can do it!

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Doing ok as suggested try and phone AA maybe you can get to a meet or , as for PS4 LOL ive got one my sons bought it for me sold my PS3 i play Fifa 17 online got good at it im 65 on 23 rd Jan my wife is happy when i play in the den so she can see her soaps on tv lol best of luck

@Jasmine.M

I think you may be married to my man.

My story:
I would drink or get high to escape my chronic pain from spine surgery…slowly the pain got better but I was living with a man who had to be mother and father to our 2 kids. I was given 33 percent chance to walk again. He didn’t know how to deal and neither did I. I slept like shit and I just needed someone to love me but the pain and mess and my years of abusing narcotics and pot and booze fogged my life.

Give it time. Keep your journals…I have them too…there is 1 thing he said that I’m still mourning but I know it’s unhealthy and I have to let go. I’m starting to see through my cloud. I made it to day 14 then Christmas hit and I have a cancer scare to get through now so I hit the bong hard.

But unlike so many people here who feel bad about relapse, here I am…I don’t understand remorse. I truly don’t because now I’ve made the decision for sobriety and I’m back celebrating my day 1 again…only this time I know I just need more and more and it leaves me hollow and incapable…these substances I would reach for…

Learn from your setback…dust yourself off…focus on fixing the negative on you and show gentle positive observations of your man.

Give.it.time.

Show him how to love you again. You were so tangled with other things and over your sobriety your brain will work better. It will not be driven by a body so sick for booze. Soon you can drive the train again. It very well may be over your husband…but make sure you have your facts right

There’s a Buddhist saying…when you point your finger you have 4 fingers pointing back at you.

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