So I mentioned a few days ago that I wanted to clean the entire house and I have except my bedroom, I’ve been sleeping in the spare room because I don’t want to face it. I just see it as a black hole of alcoholism, I’m not looking forward to picking up all the bottles and finding the hidden ones and remembering how I drank myself silly in there. I really want to see it clean like the resr of the house but it’s more difficult to get started mentally 
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I can so relate to that … i spent all my time in my bedroom hidden away on drugs … it took me ages to get the courage to clean it up … i was so frightened of what id find in case i used again… especially as i hit all my stuff in a cupboard in my room… what i did eas just grab a black bin bag and chuch everything away … i had foil … crack pipes… the lot… cos i knew i never wanted to use again it wasnt as bad as i thought it would be. I thimk i was more frightened that it would trigger me using again… but no it made me feel dirty and scummy and ashamed of myself… if u definitely dont eant to drink anymore u may surprise yourself and it will make u feel good … close that chapter off of your old drinking ways. Good luck x
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Thank you very much. I’ve decided to clean it a little bit at a time, even if it takes me days…not sure if that’s a good idea at all but I think that’s what I’ll do
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By cleaning your room you will face your reality and admit to your problem, this is an excellent first step to getting well and so is asking for help on TS we have all had to do this! I was a solitary drinker maintaining an outward shoe of being ‘together’ . Finally clearing out my room and making it a pleasant space to be i was the first step to self care and well being x
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Good for you for deciding to start! When I focus on my success, no matter how small, I find the motivation to keep moving forward. And eventually, when the time is right and I am ready, the task seems to compete itself.
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I think we all try to hold on to something of the lifestyle. I had prob 50 needles in my room. I saved and didnt throw away( probably because i wasnt sure if i was done forever). It took me a few months whn i finally cleaned my room and threw them away. If you think it may cause u to crave. I would hold off til you have fully surrendered the idea of drinking again. When you do just think of it as an old chapter now and your turning the page. The new clean bedroom will represent who you are today…
No I don’t think it’s going to cause me to crave at all, that’s not the issue. My issue is the feeling I get when I walk in there, it’s just DARK, I don’t like it. I no longer view it as my bedroom, it’s like a black hole where I nearly killed myself from drinking. I have decided already that once I do have it clean I’m going to fully move to the room that I currently sleep in. That’s the room where I used to pray a lot, read my Bible and just be alone with God. There are even posters on the wall of that room of scriptures and godly motivation, it just makes me feel good in there even though it’s a smaller room. I’ll clean that dirty booze filled black hole and permanently move to my old room. I just feel I need to
I can relate to the whole “put together” facade hey. I’ve decided to clean the room but no longer sleep in it, at least not for a while
Thank you Natnat 
I’ll be fine
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Hopefully once its clean you will feel more settled 
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You will do it when you are ready 
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