Hey everyone! I’m new here. Just to give you a little background on me I was severely addicted to crack and meth for 5 years. My addiction stole everything from me…My relationships, my marriage, my home, my vehicles, and my soul. I decided to go to rehab on 3/20/25 after coming to the realization that had literally nothing to lose. While I was there I told myself that when I returned home I would go back to nursing school, get a job, save up and get my own place etc… I should also add that the only place I had to go after the program was to my alcoholic mothers house. She promised she would not drink and provide a stable sober environment for me until I could get back on my feet. Unfortunately that has been far from the situation I am currently in… 3 days after being home she started drinking again and she has done nothing but scream and put me down. Everything I do is never good enough in her eyes… I know it is not a healthy place to be but I do not have the money or resources to go anywhere else at the moment. I find myself almost paralyzed with anxiety and depression. I have no motivation to do anything that I promised myself I would do I struggle to even take a shower every day. I’ve been to 1 NA meeting and I was very disappointed at how cold and unwelcoming they seemed. I haven’t used but have had extreme cravings. I thought I could do this but I am unsure now. I just lay here day and night thinking of how I want so much more for myself but I feel so discouraged…
I want to welcome you warmly to my favorite part of the internet. you should be proud of yourself for going to rehab and staying sober afterwords, thats a huge achievement 
you can keep it going, one day at a time
Im sorry you are in a bad situation now and have had cravings. Im an alcoholic and still new myself with 65 days, so I might not have much advice, but the 12 steps have been very helpful to me. Would you want to try accessing an online meeting? Or trying a different one? Its better than using!
Welcome to TS!
I hope you find us welcoming atleast? 
You’re doing well so far! Maybe you can go and see a therapist or something to make you feel better?
I’m seeing one of those, got some SSRI and started going to the gym. I feel a bit better now.
Let us know how it’s going, and keep coming here if you’re having a rough time ok?
Welcome to Talking Sober!
I completely sympathize with your situation. Being surrounded in a difficult environment like that is hard.
There are dozens (probably hundreds) of other NA meetings online every week, have you tried some of them? Don’t give up after one meeting. Not every meeting is a fit, but if you keep searching you’re sure to find one where you feel comfortable.
Warm welcome to you. 
Why is you mom putting pressure on you?
Is it that your bar for action is set too low and needs to see more action?
Don’t be scared of action
I know for a 100% fact you have what it takes to be a normal healthy piece of the community. Have you made it to filling out a job application? I would hope you can start. Fill out applications to places you CAN TOLERATE. Something like a grocery store like me
I went from rock bottom to having my own family in 2 years with my full time job. I still have a very long way to go because I depend on my grandparents for a place to live but I did it. I am a addict alcoholic.
No matter what, DONT PICK UP
YOU GOT THIS
@Xxbabydoll99xx I’m sorry you’re having a hard time, you are brave for reaching out for help.
You need the support of a recovery group like NA/AA because it’s easier to do this with the love and help from other recovering people!
I got released from jail and I went home to a non-clean household at first as well, but I kept away from the house kept myself busy and went to meetings.
If you don’t want to lay in bed all day and think, then leave your home and go do something.
Act! Take action!
Just my opinion and i hope the best for you
I attend a meeting online once in a while myself
I don’t talk much
Show my face sometimes
It just helps to listen and to actually empathize with people on our level
Have you checked out sober living opportunities in your area? Oxford house may be an option. If youre in the us you could call 211 and see if they have resources.