You are not alone Meg. Many people men and women struggle with this. Pornography messes with our sense of intimacy and connection and makes real live intimacy harder. Porn masks our deeper insecurities and veils them behind the dopamine rush of the next sex scene.
It’s a good idea to cut it out of your life.
For me I didn’t see significant progress until I joined a dedicated sex / porn addiction recovery group in my city. Neal made a list of these and there may be some there for you to consider:
But as you said above - connecting and communicating is key, and you’re starting that here. Begin the work of exploring who you are and what’s behind your addictive escape behaviours. Start excavating your pain and your sense of whatever’s missing for you. Be brave and never give up - and keep checking in here, we’re here for you.
Take care sister 