You’re in the right place, a lot of us had been where you are, and we all had help putting the shovel down so we can stop digging that hole we were in. We are here to help you…
My 2 biggest pieces of advice are this:
Ask for help, and take the advice you are given, even if you don’t want to. A lot of us speak from experience.
The second one is to start changing your relationship with alcohol; as long as you allow it to control you, you will always be fighting it. Stop fighting and surrender, completely.
https://talkingsober.com/t/what-does-surrender-mean-to-you/114321/2?u=hoofhearted