I was tried last night and passed with flying colors! One of my close friends, known him before all the pill shit started (he still does them) came over last night and we went to the bar for a bit, I knew that he always has pills on him, so before we went out, I took a decent dose of kratom, and he did have some pills on him, didn’t offer me any because he knew I quit a while back, but he did them in front of me (not before asking me if it would be okay, I said it was fine) I didn’t have any urges to ask him or try to get him to make me cheat (which he is a good friend, he would fight me before helping me go back to pills), I didn’t have any urges, and I had a great night!! Success!!! Hitting 50 days no oxycodone tonight!!! And I feel better than ever, the feeling of not being chained to a drug, or scared whenever I drive if I get pulled over I’d get a drug charge (thank God it never happened, but I remember being so scared every time I drove to get my “fix”… Worst feeling ever… Those days are behind me.
Please don’t give me that “oh you need to lose all your friends that still partake because it’s just a matter of time or blady blady blahhh” maybe I’m still friends with him to show him what it’s like being in the depths of addiction and finding my way out, maybe I can be a light to him, I hope I become one to him and he follows suit, but I can’t make him do it, he has to want it.
In my first 47 days I did stay away from everyone, which I thought was a good idea, and it turned out to be one, that’s crazy how the people that were selling you drugs were the ones to help you out of it, I don’t respect them one bit, but I respect that they respected your decision to get sober
I really think that this is a dangerous topic for the ones fresh to sobriety. I truly think you must have expected this to be controversial. So you invinting me to leave might be a wise choice. Good luck with your sobriety.
I will be sober weather you ride the train with me or leave, so yes, if you don’t have anything positive to say then it won’t effect my sobriety if you leave, you do have one thing right though and I’m gonna edit the title.
I said what I said because I didn’t want the drama, which your bringing I edited the title because I did say I went to a bar, but drinking isn’t my vice, I had one beer over the course of 3 hours and the last time I drank before that was probibly 6+ months ago… and I apologize for saying that.
I look at it this way; Alcohol is my DOC. I demonstrated through my drinking that I lack the capacity to do it responsibly. Never drove drunk or had the cops get called to my house, or raised a hand to my wife or my kids. Never failed to show up for work or any of that.
I failed to be who I have the capacity to be. This was irresponsible. I have friends who still drink. I attend social events and work events where my friends and co-workers are drinking. I’ll meet a friend for dinner, where alcohol is served, but not at a bar, as drinking is the point of a bar.
Sobriety is my decision. My friends aren’t my “drinking buddies” as drinking isn’t the main focus if our relationship. As long as they respect my decision to live sober, I can respect their decision to drink. We can maintain the relationship that is built on mutual respect.
Now, if they ridicule my choice, then the respect is gone, and with it the foundation of our relationship.
That’s just me. Others may see this differently, and that’s OK too.
When you said drug dealer I assumed dope or cocaine, not pot (Trigger Warning, I guess?) I currently smoke pot daily, have been for over 5 years, I only use it for insomnia now, probibly for the past 2 years or so, and u can go all day without it will th no problem at all, even at night I don’t have an urge to smoke, but I do it because it helps calm me down and get me ready to fall asleep. I take that back saying that I don’t respect them, being a pot dealer is one thing, but I truly believe in the saying “shoot your local heroin dealer” I have 0 remorse for people that destroy lives, and I do not think pot fits the bill.
The way I see it is if I had a friend who knew I was an alcoholic invite me to her house and then ask if it was ok if she got drunk in front of me I’d run so far and fast!!! I’m just dead fucking serious about staying sober at ANY cost. To me it seems waaay too tempting and dangerous. But I’m probably just weak. Or maybe I don’t have a grip on my addict brain… Maybe I just want to keep my son and stay out of jail…? But that’s just me.
Idk if this was a unintentional stab at me or not, but I guess I’m just strong minded, he asked me before he did it and I’m nearly 50 days sober and have a substance that helps me stay away from opiates, which half of the people on this site give me shit about as well, but they don’t grt it so it’s whatever. (1 hour away from 50 days), I didn’t put this post up here to he told what I should or shouldn’t have done, I put this post up here because I was happy and excited at the fact that I was tried in a situation (kind of controlled) and I succeeded, I guess I know now not to post stuff in fear of offending people…im kind of shocked at some of the posts, but I know better now.
oh I’m not offended. I don’t offend easily. Just sharing my opinion. Do I think its a great idea to watch someone partake in your DOC right in front of you? Hell no! No matter if he asked or was “respectful” or if I was 20 years sober! Just sounds like a recipe for disaster! I can’t help but want to warn you to run away… You keep around a fire long enough you’re gonna get burned. And personally I think if he was a true friend he wouldn’t have had that stuff within a mile of you! But again…just my opinion.
He’s gonna do what he’s gonna do, I can’t stop him, and nobody can make me do something I don’t want to, we need to express willpower, especially in addiction, and I’m not saying to run to your local bar just to try yourself, if you have an alcohol problem, but I’m not gonna stay home and be a hermit just because someone that asked me to hang out has an addiction that I’m getting over, especially if you don’t know my relationship with this person (over 15 years), which I know none of that matters, we just run right? We don’t try and help other people, or show them how we’re doing by not using anymore? Yeah let’s just run… If firefighters ran away because fire is hot we would be in trouble. (cue the context police)
haha umm yeah! We do run! I’m sorry but the firefighter analogy just doesn’t fit here. You’re a fellow addicted very early in recovery. But you’re right its not for me to say. You will do you and work your own recovery. I’ll work mine. Just thought a warning might be helpful… Wish I would’ve listened to half of the warnings I got along the way in my past attempts at sobriety…best of luck to you! And congrats on 50 days!
I guess I was just looking for people to be understanding, and looking for people to congratulate me for not even batting an eye or wanting to do the drug he did around me, I didn’t see him do it physically but I know what he was doing, I’m going to refrain from posting for a while because I can’t make a post without someone telling me what I did wrong, lol its amazing, oh well, I’m still 50 days today no matter what anyone says
And if you are referring to me smoking pot, I’m not going to stop, I don’t see it as a problem, there are days I sleep well without it, the days I can’t sleep it helps. I went the doctor rout and got ambien, and proceeded to sleep walk, drive my car, get arrested and be locked up for 10 hours, and I didn’t even know it, so yeah, there’s that.
reach out if you need to, or even just want to chat!