Summertime drinking envy

Hey all. I really never post here. I do read a LOT of the posts, though. I feel like if anyone can help, it’s all of you!
I’m 83 days away from a full year sans alcohol. I haven’t really had too many cravings. Until now. Now that the sun is shining and people are having their cookouts and beach trips, I want a drink SO badly!! It seems that’s all I can think about. My husband also asked if I think I will ever drink again and says he doesn’t think I had a problem. Which makes me think that, hey, I can definitely enjoy a few here and there…but I can’t!! I know one drink will turn into many and every night drinking and every morning crying to myself in the mirror asking myself WHY. My husband is NOT a drinker, either. We have no booze in the house at all. So that also make me question why he wants me to have a drink and relax??
I know this post is just me rambling on but I just had to get it out. Because sometimes, I’m not too strong. And the liquor store is right on my street. And I really want a drink. And I’m really just lost :persevere:


Hey! Great to hear from you :blush:

There is definitely something about milestones coming up that has this kind of effect. It’s like a year is supposed to be this massive milestone and everything should be different, better, rainbows and unicorn farts… Of course life doesn’t really work like that!

You should definitely tell your husband that! And don’t question why he said it… Ask him. You’re not a mind reader, if he thinks you need to loosen up then redirect him to the every morning crying thing. Although likelihood is he didn’t mean anything by it and just wasn’t thinking about the wormhole it would create in your brain :upside_down_face:

Summer coming up is tough… But you know what happens and that it’s never just one. Have you been to a cookout or a beach trip sober? It might be fun. All of my sober firsts left me feeling pleasantly surprised. Like it turns out I can actually still talk to people, it is possible to dance, I do laugh without alcohol. With the added bonus that I can get home safely, remember what I said, who I’ve spoken to, not overshare, remember where I’ve been and wake up hangover free and ready to make the most of another day in the sun. No morning crying!!

You got this :star_struck::sun_with_face:


I’ve been struggling with this lately too! I quit drinking to help me with my recovery from my DOC, bc being tipsy makes me make bad decisions. So lately I’ve found myself thinking “I can just have one. It won’t even get me tipsy, I won’t do anything dumb…” but then I think of the TS community and ask myself “then what’s the point?” I can find something that tastes better than rose and I know alcohol increases my anxiety instead of making me relax. So I play the tape all the way through to the anxiety and regret, every single time I find myself considering it.

Also, the time leading up to my one year with my DOC was BRUTAL. I think that’s pretty standard. It’s like when you read a side effect of a med and you’re like oh whatever…and then it happens to you and you’re like wait no this is actually terrible!

I also found myself reflecting on what was causing those thoughts. For me, early spring was when I was the deepest into my addiction. So of course when the weather started to change my brain was like “oh hell yeah, this is my cue to get wiiiiild”. There were a lot of anniversaries of terrible days in that period for me.

Stay strong, and turn to the forum when you’re struggling, we are all here with you :two_hearts:


This. All of this! I feel the exact same way in the exact same scenario. Stay strong. WE GOT THIS. I just keep telling myself it’s not worth it. The hangover, especially the emotional one, isn’t worth it.

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Ohhhh yess!!! I 10000% am with you!! I just hit 24 hours sober! Im just now starting to have thoughts of do i really need to do this extreme? Maybe just really cut back. And knowing bbq is today with family im sitting here in parking lot getting ready to go into my second meeting. I know what “cutti g back” will do. It just really sucks!!!


Oh my…milestones coming up had a weird way of messing with me for the first year or so. 90 days especially, so I feel you.

I get what you are saying, perhaps a different perspective (mine lol) will help a little. I live in Florida and I am retired. You know what that means? Every day is a beach day, every day is Saturday, every day is a BBQ, let’s entertain day. Damn, if I drank because it was nice out, well, I would drink a shit ton. :neutral_face: So…what I am getting at, our mind will find any excuse for you to drink. Man, it is nice out, need a cold one…man, I had a shit day, need a drink…a birthday! Let’s drink! A wedding, let’s drink! Breakup…drink…lost my job…damn, I need a drink. Let’s go camping and drink! Day ends in Y…let’s celebrate!!

Truth is…it is all excuses to drink. A reframe is needed when we still get envious of drinking. Envious of hangovers, suicidal thoughts, horrible behavior, anxiety, bad choices, the list is endless. That is nothing to be envious of. Romanticizing drinking is just another excuse. Parties, summer, beach days, camping, weddings, vacations, etc…all are doable and fun when sober. And especially fun the next morning.

Waking up clear headed, regret free
refreshed, sober…now that is something to be envious of.

Have a sit down with the husband and let him know how you feel. And remember, you don’t need to worry about never drinking again. Keeping your focus on what is in your control, right now, today, is all you need to do. Don’t drink today. I know you got that! And super huge congrats on your 83 days! :heart:


I dealt with this during my first 6 months sober. Everyday, no issues. But I live in wine country. There are at least 30 wineries within a 20 mile radius of my house. We have a wine culture, here in NoVA.

Red wine was my go to. A day spent at a winery (or several) was a typical activity for us. Wine while cooking. Having friends over for wine and eats.

Early on, I avoided this, even though I had no issues walking by a fully stocked wine rack in my house, every day. Then I realized I had no issues walking by that wine rack every day. So, one day we mey some friends at a winery. They drank wine. I drank seltzer. Wasn’t tempted in the least. I had a great time, and no regrets.


Provided we have honest intentions, we can go anywhere in recovery.

I have friends visiting me in Scotland from the US next week and I am planning to take them on a distillery tour, my logic is, it would be weird for a normal tourist to not be able to do this and provided I keep working my program, this will never be an issue. I find it quite liberating.


No drinkies, Stacie😗


Sobriety is liberating. My experience has been similar to yours.


Some sell sodas and such, for DD’s. I brought my own.

Ugh I so get this. How many times have I rationalized that since I didn’t drink every day that I didn’t really have a problem. What I do know for sure is that it always had a very negative impact on my mental health. Even if you don’t look like a mess, you might feel like a mess. My husband doesn’t really get it either. He drinks beer and it never seems to affect his mood or responsibilities.
Was just having the same cravings myself with the holiday and the sun shining :neutral_face:
I guess ask yourself how your life has been better in the last months vs when you were drinking?
Anyway, I feel ya. I’m just going to stay busy :crazy_face:


Thank you!

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I was just looking through posts for some advice on the summer time.
Cause the weathers beautiful here at the moment, iv had a great day and achieved alot and im now sat watching the kids play in the pool and i felt i missing a drink in hand to end the day.
Your posts snapped me back to the reality of drinking and actually enjoying my summer days without all the nasty bits that come with alcohol far outweigh the alternative.
And i wouldnt be having great days like this one cause ill be too drunk/hungover.
Sending lots of appreciation to you for sharing out such good advice and how impactful your advice is :blush:


Glad it helped Megan!!! And it is so true. There is always an excuse. A holiday, a bad, summer!, fill in the blank.

I wrote that post in 2019, 4 years ago!! Since then we moved to North Carolina in the mountains…today is a gorgeous pool day…and I am definitely not drinking. :sunglasses:

We can both enjoy our evenings and wake up regret and hangover free. That is a true gift!!


The timing of this post coming back up is perfect. I’ve been getting out and enjoying the sun and was having similar feelings of cold beer envy. Reading helped me to stop romanticizing the drinking and remember how awful I would feel dehydrated and sweating in the sun and how that would make whatever I was doing less fun, and then the hangover and regret afterwards. Thanks universe for looking out :heavy_heart_exclamation:


I’ve a slightly different take on this. I get the summer time drinks mood thing too, but it’s all a load of shit when you think about it.

When you start to see how alcohol is marketed to people throughout the year, you realise we are being sold a lie. There will be always be a time we should drink alcohol, the drink industry has brainwashed people into believing this. It doesn’t have to be Christmas, New year, or Summer, there will always be a reason. They market alcohol in different ways to ensure everyone is covered by the big con. Kids home from school, homeworks done? Well it must be mummy’s time now. Pour yourself a nice tall glass of wine to de-stress! :roll_eyes:

We have been programmed to want these cool, thirst quenching alcoholic drinks during the summer. They aren’t thirst quenching in the morning when your mouth is dry and your head hurts.

I’m angry. I’m angry that other industries are buying into this stupid culture that we should all be in the garden drinking right now. I saw something recently and I got so angry when I saw it. I don’t buy clothes from this site personally, but a link was shared and I saw something. Look at the picture below. What a bad, bad way of advertising clothes to people, normalising day drinking.

My advice to you is to stick your middle finger up at the drinks industry this summer, and any other company that encourages the use of alcohol by hanging off its coat tails.

Have yourself a truly thirst quenching mocktail, or any other drink you can pop in the fridge to have the same effect. Be glad you’re not one of the sheeple walking into the jaws of the drinks industry instead :+1:


I like fancy cold coffee drinks and raspberry lemonades. Strangely, I don’t miss drinking in hot weather, it’s quite cool being able to sit outside and enjoy beverages that actually taste good.


YES!! Unplug from the matrix!!!


This seems a good place to drop a story about this weekend. Literally just happened.

I got invited to a party on Friday, I invited my buddy who’s a big drinker, he said no, he already had plans to go drinking in town.

I drove to the party. Had the best time ever jamming on instruments and social dancing, it was amazing, and I left at the end and safely drove myself home -what a night!

The next morning I text my buddy, we’re supposed to be horse riding, guess what -he’s so hung over he can’t move. He had to cancel his lesson, he stays in bed until 5pm, meanwhile I ride the horse, jog on the beach promenade, swim in the sea which was azure blue! It was so sunny such a beautiful day and it was so great to make the most of it.

I’m not here to boast, I just want you to know that summer day drinking is total crap. It will waste your life, it destroys your opportunity to do other things. He laid in bed like a hospital patient on the best day of the year so far. I remember back when I was a drinker wondering why I’d lay there like a stick person not making the most of my day. A hobby or a good experience is not found at the bottom of a bottle, all that’s waiting there is addiction.