I thought it would be interesting to start a thread about the things that have surprised us early in our sober journeys. I am only 7 days into sobriety now and I have found a few things surprising.
I made a journal entry this morning and listed all the benefits of being sober. The obvious things are understandable. Things like better mornings, more time, more energy etc. However, it hit me like a ton of bricks that I used to spend a lot of time planning for my alcoholism.
I have been a “functional alcoholic” for several years…. whatever that means. I’ve come to realize it’s just a term people use to excuse alcoholism. Anyway, I have a wife and kids and a demanding job. I’ve had to work hard to plan everything around my drinking. From when I can drive (I never drive with any alcohol in my system) to prioritizing tasks around the house (tasks needing sober me earlier in the day) to how to balance on call work (24 hours per day for one full week) while still being able to drink. It has been a challenge to say the least. Not having to do this anymore has been a relief.
There are other surprising things about sobriety. The new appreciation of little things is really nice. The dramatic increase of fantastic interactions with my kids. The GI improvements and the overall health improvements. Nothing is as surprising as the sense of relief that I no longer need to plan things out in such detail. I just take everything as it comes and it’s a wonderful thing.
Great thread idea! I totally agree, it was so mentally draining for many reasons but also the realisation of just how much energy was spent to either organise everything around my drinking or organise where I could slip in my drinking between certain responsibilities.
I didn’t realise how much planning or scheming was involved, it became normal for me to have a system in place where I would rotate my visits to different bottle shops so I wouldn’t be recognised as going into one too often I didn’t realise how FREE I would feel once I stopped drinking!!
I also absolutely love waking up hangover and anxiety free, that feeling NEVER gets old. I actually get excited sometimes when I go to bed because I know I’m going to feel ok with zero regrets in the morning!!
There have been so many amazing gifts that have come unexpectedly with my sobriety and recovery and I give thanks to them every night before I go to sleep…
I will definitely come back to this thread in the morning (it’s almost midnight here). Look forward to seeing what other people add
well done on 7 days still early days and youve relised the benefits of being sober , maybe try a meeting might help get a good network round you wish you well
Another thing that was surprising for me is where I was when I made the decision to get sober. It wasn’t necessarily the traditional “rock bottom” moment that I’ve heard a lot about. Maybe it was and I just don’t understand it yet.
There have been times I got backlit drunk or was mean to my wife. Times I was throwing up during the day due to a hangover or was feeling too sick to be a good dad to my kids. I would think those would all be the times I would have said it was time to stop.
Instead, it was a Saturday. The Saturday before Super Bowl Sunday. I had been feeling a bit hungover that morning. I remember looking in the mirror, seeing myself in my older age, and not liking what I was seeing. I could see in that moment the affect alcoholism was having on me. That’s when I made the decision to quit. I think it was more of the realization of the accumulation.
Either way, I’m sure glad I made the decision. Now I have 7 days of sobriety under my belt and I feel great! I am very grateful to have this community. Thank you all so much for being here.
How about the weight loss? I have shed 25 lbs of toxic bloat and everyone notices (especially if they haven’t seen me in a while). Going on my 3rd year now of continuous sobriety by the grace of God! Love this App. too, lost my phone for a week, then a week later realized I didn’t have the TS App. so I downloaded it right away!! Lol. I don’t post a lot but love the genuine folks on here.
I would plan my evenings too, especially Saturday and Sundays. I’d get all my ‘big jobs’ done first, the ones where I’d need to concentrate and I’d send any messages before the spelling mistakes and nonsense text came up. Once the bigger jobs were done I could start ‘proper drinking’ and if any jobs after that were messed up or didn’t get done then I wasn’t too bothered.
I’m also excited to go to bed these days coz I know that I will sleep until my alarm, mostly, and not wake up at 4am unable to get back to sleep.
This is so true! This is my first full weekend where I am not “planning” my week ahead. I feel very calm and relaxed because my schedule has been freed up!
It sounds like you and I started our sober journey around the same time. I made the decision last weekend to stop drinking. Congrats to you on your days sober! I’m at 7 days now.
I’ve been saying for years that I always feel like I’m in survival mode. That I’m always drowning in things to do and I’m never really able to get out ahead of everything. Now I realize it was alcoholism that was causing me to feel this way. The amount of free time I have now is mind boggling. That combined with increased energy and no hangovers is making me much more productive. Looks like I will be able to get out ahead of things now!
Great idea for a thread and totally agree on the freedom from planning!
For a drug that was supposed to be “fun” and “relaxing” I spent an awful lot of time worrying about the planning involved…how to get home from places as didn’t want to drive, would I be sober enough to drive the morning after, how I would get more - “only 1 glass in the bottle at home, how to get more wine without being obvious”.
That was an awful lot of over-thinking. And that is without including the worrying about my health and where this pattern would end up. Would my kids soon be old enough to notice I drink every night? It is nice to like myself again.
I agree with other posters about feeling emotional. Slowly realizing what my addiction was tied to, the root so to speak, and it’s been interesting to say the least.
I thought I’d be bored and irritated and I wasn’t sure what my marriage would look like when I stopped, if I would be able to process any type of conflict without using, but here we are, doing just fine so far. My boredom was quickly replaced with actually getting shit done and I didn’t see that coming. Maybe I was just ready this time instead of feeling like I was focing it bc I should be sober.
I think the freedom from planning was also my biggest surprise. It’s comforting to know I wasn’t alone in all that. I was an expert at which gas stations did and didn’t sell beer and which ones had the “good stuff.”
I also spent years making and failing and coming up with new and improved drinking rules. “None on work nights” turned into the “12 hour rule” (cut off 12 hrs before I had to be to work), which turned into “drink as much as you can until you can’t anymore”. Rinse and repeat.
I have so much more room in my brain for making and breaking other rules now - like eating healthy snacks
The classic ones of no hangovers, the freedom from planning and hiding, calmer tummy, are absolutely golden.
I haven’t had a coldsore since I got sober. My sense of humour has returned.
Holy cow! Up until I read your post I thought I had a problem with heartburn too. It just occurred to me that I haven’t had a problem since I quit drinking.
This is great! I set an alarm for 6:30am this morning and got up way before the alarm sounded feeling fantastic. Glad to hear you experienced the same thing. It’s great. I can get used to mornings like this!
