My reply was from a protective standpoint. How I would tell my sister or my friends to answerā¦I know itās harder than that in true life, but honestly itās the best thing to do (if you can).
From experience. I was once a young woman who was really messed around and hurt badly by someone who seriously gaslit, manipulated and hurt me. I moved two hundred miles to be with someone much older who promised the vision of true loveā¦ And was promptly dumped and ghosted before Xmas (within months of me leaving my home land)ā¦ Alone and pretty young in a bit city, scared and with a rental contract I no longer wanted. I held on and tried with this person for almost a year, not accepting that they were done with me, I was boring now to them.
I would seriously give that girl the same advice Iām giving you. Itās said with love and care for you x
I remember a therapist once explained me: someone formulates a wish. And you have a wish. Sometimes these two wish-bubbles wonāt touch and each one has to accept this. He has no power over you. If your wish is to be in peace from him. He has to accept this otherwise blocked.
And his hurt feelings or whatsoever is his problem. Protecting your mental hea and your sobriety comes first.
So So nice to finally hit my pool this morning. I had some problems this week, not full PMO, but a slip with youtube, and i just need to get back to what works and my plan. The Pool stabilizes me, and the serotonin/neutrotransmitter boost is so invaluable. Wasnāt in the pool long but it was awesome this morning.
I got a cold and it will take more days until I can get back into the water.
I had 2 wonderful flowy fast swims of 2000 in 50 last Sunday and Monday. They were so much fun!
I have to pauseā¦
Whats somehow good for my way of recoveryā¦
Cause my mind is also slowing down.
Had some real hard feelings to work through.
Had some reflection about my pool boy (lol) flirt and more reflections and more and some outer view advisesā¦
Itās good to recognize falling back into patterns. And stop plans.
I deserve better
Am okay with pausing, as I still c my 2023 swimming goal of 365 km manageable!
Already have 330 and was 152 hours
in water this year
I hit the pool at 7am this morning, and it was of course, GLORIOUS. Iāve decided to get in the pool and work through some of my issues and what went wrong. I can think very clear in the pool. I want to get off work and head back up there, but i need to start lifting weights to get my body together, probably put in some work and hit the pool again in the morning.
Took my kiddoās to the dentist this morning, then i had a choice, run back to work and do nothing pending, or get a quick swim/lift in before lunch? Got me a good little swim in today, itās funny, it doesnāt take much lifting weights to burn calories thatās for sure. Thatās not a real 28 minutes either, i didnāt lift that long and it felt good. Iām going to incorporate that too, just a quick lifting session every single day.
I realy need to say that I am fucked up about pausing! This morning I had sore throutā¦ Soā¦ Pausing! I am pausing since 2 weeks now!
Maybe a lesson to learn. Pausing during hard times. I would realy need my tool and passion SWIMMING. To feel my body. To restart my mind. To be in flow.
I am pausing as well. Still havenāt fully recovered after my cold. I am going to be so out of breath when I start again
Btw I love that you can book lanes @Tragicfarinelli. How many people per lane is it usually? Here you just have to hope for a somewhat empty spot in the swimmers jam and snatch it fast when you see it.
About 6 per lane and itās 27 yards long. It still feels busy if we donāt judge our speed correctly. Iām a middle laner and I get the fast and the slow with meā¦.
I am back in the gameā¦
2,5 weeks with the flue and a hard life event.
You canāt imagine how amazing it was to enter the water and smash some lanes.
Contrary to my pushy mentality, I made a bit lessā¦ 1500 and 1800 meters. All the procedure, views, hot showerā¦ Wuhf. Donāt ever question why we love swimming
I watched deep down in the jump pit, but no turtle around
I had 2 little sips of wine few days ago. It was shit. I reseted my timer to be transparent with it. Was going through some hard cravings immediately. Decided yesterday to go on with the sober way. The work of refuge recovery helped me once more. Still working on the excersiceā¦ Itās a process.
Itās been a terrible week for me, I swam once i think on monday. I can 100% feel it, without my sanctuary, routine, iāve fallen pretty hard this week.
15th of December I reached my goal in swimming for 2023: 365 km (226 miles).
I realy made it.
Had to pause 4 times this year
(covid, inflammation, swimmers ear and a cold), around 6 to 8 weeks in total.
Anyway I made it!!
I know now that the last 3 illnesses had to to with this unhealthy āanything-shipā and my body screamed by this way for distancing from this guy. I donāt have contact anymore. Didnāt answer the last message. I am calm. And sober. And I got no unusual inflammation.
My dad knew about my goal and the current status, ā¦ that I will probably make it. We talked about it 2 weeks before he died on 7th of November. He is proud.
He also was, about the certification as a international life saver, I got in April this year.
My father had this too, when he was young. As well as my grandfather maternal.
Being in water means a lot to me.
It always will!
So I will do some more kilometers until end of this year
Went back to the pool today after a way too long break. I loved to get into the flow and the peaceful silence in my head.
Thatās really impressive and really inspiring @Juli1!
Thank you, I am very proudā¦
Will make a similar goal for 2024 on think.
I love your descriptionā¦
And know what you mean with peaceful silence. I think a longer distance swimmer is always a person that is okay to be in itās ownā¦ In silence and flow. Not for everybody
.
