Taking in too much after recovery?

So, I was really inspired by my guitar idol, Mike McCready, and his journey to sobriety back in the mid 90s. I was watching videos of him discussing sobriety and he mentioned that he had gotten really excited in his sobriety and tried to help everyone he could. He says it was naive, and I took it to heart, because I’ve been getting involved in trade school via my VA benefits, moving, getting married (maybe), flying my kids in this year, dealing with mother and her recent cancer diagnosis, working in the nonprofit arena, etc. It really made me think.

I’ve noticed that the urge to lapse is getting stronger the busier I get, but I’m not always going to be have something to do. So, my question is, who’s experienced this? Am I off kilter to want to help others? How much is too much? I fell compelled by the recovery program I’m in to just be compassionate and I can’t afford to help everyone. I guess I’m asking if this is actually pretty normal? If it helps, I’m sitting at 10 months sober.

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What are you doing to keep your disease at bay? You mentioned a program.

Its great you are helping others, but remember if you don’t take care of yourself, eventually you won’t be able help others.


Sometimes I feel like I might have just replaced being “busy” with drinking, but I go to my groups and try to have as much downtime as possible before school starts. I don’t really feel like drinking, I just noticed it a few days ago and it’s a feeling that’s hung around. I guess I just need to go for a hike and get my head straight.

I was told a year ago by a fellow with 2+ decades of sobriety to be careful of becoming my own sponsor, due to the amount of time and help I was giving to others in early sobriety… I realized that he had seen others do similar actions and forget about themselves. Likely leading to a false sense of being good on their own. Anyway, I slowed my steam, focused on being happy & healthy, sharing and listening at my home group. 828 days today, all I know brother.


That’s the answer. As much I want to be out here doing good, I’m pretty sure I’m asking for trouble right now. I’ve already pulled out of 3 different projects. There others? That’s on today’s agenda.

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Not a Race go at your own pace , know your limations wish you well

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How long have you been sober and in recovery? Early stages is hard, then you find the “pink cloud” that carries you for a few months (which is your brain learning to produce its own serotonin, dopamine, etc.) but that increase in chemicals eventually finds its natural level and you feel you’ve hit a wall.

Helping others also produces a rush but eventually the newness of that also wears off and it becomes routine so harder to maintain. And all that volunteer work can take time & energy from your your working on your recovery.

Like others have said, pace yourself, find a healthy balance, and keep the first priority your work on your personal recovery.

You are doing great! Life is about responding to change, and recovery is about responding without risking relapse. Make a few tweaks to what you are doing and things will improve again. Update us on how things go!


Was this ment for me my friend ?

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Was meant for @Zarathustra_Sez. (Sorrry @Ray_M_C_Laren, hit reply to you by mistake! But you’re doing great as well!)


Here is how it works for ME. Maybe it will help you, maybe not, but sharing my experience may be good for both of us.

I’m a life long codependent. I’ve been working on this issue for about 12 years. I get into savior complex mode all the time. Its tricky because I’ve been working therapy for so long that there are things that I genuinely understand better than some other people. So I naturally want to share this, to help others see what I see, to help them get “better”. I mean, I’ve got all the answers, right? I’ve always been the person that others turn to for advice, always. But you know what? It’s not good for me to put myself in a position where the focus is never on me. I’ve used this form of codependency to avoid my own problems, my own life, for as long as I can remember. Things can’t be that bad if I’m helping others and it makes me feel good, right? Yeah, tell that to my brain when I’m trying to go to sleep, when I’m sick with worry about other people. When I’m not doing the simple things in my own life because I feel accomplished for helping others. For ME, this is destructive, as destructive as drinking was. I’m stuck with the mess my own life has become, the anxiety and depression and hopelessness, because I’ve neglected myself.

As I said this is just MY story. Maybe there is something in there that can help. If you feel like you are trying to save people, reevaluate. This is what ego and codependency looks like for a lot of us.


So you’re saying you’re a fixer? I tend to do that too instead of focusing on myself. My mom always told me to take care of myself because nobody else will. Thanks for your share!


Yes, I’m a fixer to the point of having a complex about it. I don’t care if I fix my own shit, it’s always about fixing other people’s shit.

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I’m currently in Refuge Recovery. I’ve been going through it by myself. Just found out there’s a meeting across the bridge on Wednesdays. Excellent decision.


You literally just described all the stuff that goes on inside my head. I’m glad I’m not alone here. I appreciate everyone’s advice.

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