I figure it might be a fun idea to have a thread of jokes… themed around addiction and sobriety and whatnot. Or simply a joke you like and want to share!
Might be a good distraction during those difficult moments.
I guess i will start with a classic.
A drunk walks into a bar and says, “ouch!”.
A sandwich walks into a bar and the bartender says, “sorry we dont serve food here”.
What was my idea of a balanced diet?
A beer in each hand.
What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?
Four guys drinking bud lite and watching a football game.
How do you get a computer drunk?
Take a screenshot.
What is the difference between a dog and a fox?
About five pints of beer.
Whats the difference between Naomi Campbell and Whoopie Goldberg?
About 12 pints of beer.
A bee flies into a bar…
…and comes out two hours later buzzing.
Most bees make honey but what kind of bees make milk?
Boo bees.
No! For the last time stop calling me drunk! I am not drunk! Who would ever name their child drunk!?
Is there an officer, problem?
A termite walks into a bar and asks, “where is the bar tender?”
I drank so much that my family didnt know i drank till they saw me sober.
A skeleton walks into a bar…
“Gimmie a beer… and a mop.”
You are on a roll!
The other day I was at the ATM and this really old lady asked me nicely to check her Balance for her. So I pushed her and she fell down and broke her hip
What’s the difference between a drunk and an alcoholic?
Alcoholics go to meetings.
A grasshopper hops into a bar.
The bartender says “we don’t serve grasshoppers in this bar.”
The grasshopper replies “then make mine an old fashion.”
A grasshopper hops into a bar.
The bartender say “hey, we have a drink named after you.”
The grasshopper replies “you have drink named Steve?”