Tell a joke

Motivation
22

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23

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“I may be a little drunk, but you’re a big jerk!”

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Rope walks into a bar. Bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve ropes.”

Rope walks out of the bar, ties himself into a knot, then unravels his loose ends. He walks into the bar and the bartender says, “Hey, aren’t you a rope?”

“No, I’m a frayed knot.”

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31

Sorry guys :joy:

What’s the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink.

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33

Alcohol Warning

Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer manufacturers have accepted the FDA’s suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers:

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting."

8 Likes
34

An alcoholic, a meth user and a prositute are all in a car. Who’s driving?
The Police.

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35

Good one.Very funny and true.

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Ah, who among us hasn’t used some variant of this as an excuse?

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38

I only have this one which is a few years old and isn’t so much about drinking but may apply to some of us in sobriety…
An atheist, a cross fitter and a vegan walk into a bar--------
I know. The whole bar knew within two minutes.

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39

What do you get if you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?

About half way.

1 Like
40

Teacher tells the class, that humans are the only mammals who can studder. Joe says that his cat was also a studder. And explains, that when their neighbours dog jumped over the fence the cat went fffff, ffff, fffffff… but was ripped in half before it was able to finish saying fuck.

1 Like
41

Two birds, sitting on a perch.

One turns to the other and says, “do you smell fish”?

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42

Is perch a fish?

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43

Yes!!! :clap:t2::clap:t2::clap:t2:

It took me days to figure that out. Drove me nuts. Guess that’s why it’s pretty much the only joke I’ve ever remembered :sweat_smile:

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44

I can just imagine your face while you try and figure it out :crazy_face::crazy_face::crazy_face::rofl::rofl::rofl:

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45

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way so I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

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46

I hope that it wasn’t @Englishd,s bike :joy:

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47

Ba-zing!!!

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