I’m new to this whole addict in recovery thing. I still haven’t even told anybody I’m an addict. I’m almost 40 days sober now though and it’s always a struggle not to go pick up a case of beer and drink all night.
My girlfriend thinks I’m just taking a break from drinking and doesn’t actually think I’m serious when I’ve told her I wait drinking. Her brother is coming over for the weekend and he may want to have some beers. The problem as with all alcoholics is that there’s no moderation for me.
It also doesn’t help lately that I’ve been feeling irritated. My girlfriend seems to always be barking at me for stupid stuff and she claims I’m snapping at her. This might be the wrong group to talk about this though lol
I’m struggling right now though not to go buy that case of beer though and start chugging them back.
Over the past year I’ve been trying to study Buddhism as a way of coping with depression and anxiety and I’m trying to use it to help with my recovery as well. I’m really trying hard to use meditation too to help me fight the urge to drink and to be mindful and just take everything day by day.
I haven’t been to any AA meetings yet either and I’m debating on that too because I just don’t know.
I guess my biggest thing right now is fighting the urge to drink. I’ve been fighting with myself all day about going to the beer store. I even thought to myself “what the hell? I can start over tomorrow or next week!” I never knew quitting drinking would actually be so hard.
Anybody have any advice for this struggling guy?
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Welcome! And having almost 40 days is quite impressive! I’m on day 16. I know most people here go to AA meetings, but you mentioned following Buddhism, so the refuge recovery program may be a great fit for you. That’s what program I’ve decided to land on. And I think it’s important to focus on why you want to drink so badly. Are you trying to numb your emotions? Are you trying to de stress? Are you trying to handle the struggles of life better? If so, alcohol/beer/wine won’t help or change any of those things. Only you have the power to change those things.
I can relate to the GF things. My wife asked me to get sober, and so I have, just passed 90 days. But still every and any thing sets her off, and sets me off too. Since I don’t have the bottle to crawl to, she gets even more angry if I react. We’re willing to fight through this and I know our communication has improved, just taking time.
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That’s the addiction talking!!! If being sober was easy… we all wouldn’t be here. Punch that thought in the face and remind yourself that “today isn’t the day, satan!” I’m sure you never had a morning where you woke up and said “oh man! I’m SO GLAD I drank last night!!!” 40 days is awesome and hit that next 50 day mark. You are strong enough and you deserve it.
Girl I feel it, I was 332 days in and decided to test the waters. To anyone that’s reading this DON’T DO IT!!! I’m glad you have a strong support system to pull you thru and keep you strong. I think that most of us are on our own island trying to keep afloat. I’m a strong believer that you can’t take this road alone.
For the record, I remember my first month of sobriety… was level red, I hit the max on every angry feeling that I didn’t even know existed. Pissed the fuck off at the world for no reason and didn’t know what file cabinet to put anything! It gets easier.
Be honest. It might help to tell your girl what you told us. Express how serious you are about sobriety. Don’t ever be ashamed to reach out for support.
@Notmyfamily
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Keep it up! You have an awesome thing going being sober.
After I quit I became very irritable. I was getting angry with everyone. My doc gave me something to help.
My suggestion about wanting to drink is keep yourself busy. Try AA and surround yourself with sober people who support each other