From a very young age, I spent my life growing up around alcoholics & drug addicts, & unfortunately, I lost my uncle to an overdose. My father worked at a family-owned bakery & as kind as he was, unfortunately, he drank a lot & my mother was a workaholic, so she was hardly ever home. I understand now that she did her best to take care of us in the way she needed to, but I always felt unloved & and that no matter what I did, it was never good enough. I was raised in a strict Catholic home, so I strived to be the perfect child & went looking for love in all the wrong places, and & that caused me to end up as a pregnant teenager who wasn’t mature enough to raise my son the right way, & his father left us almost as soon as he was born, so my parents adopted him. I couldn’t handle it, so I ran away from home & moved to Scranton, PA, with the first guy who showed me what I thought was love; it wasn’t. I tried to earn people’s love & affection by becoming a people pleaser. I got my GED & I spent most of my adult life going through different abusive marriages. The boy I ran away with & married became physically abusive, which resulted in a miscarriage. After the divorce, I had another son with my second husband. He was a verbally, mentally & emotionally abusive man. I separated from my second husband because I was off my psych meds. I hurt my stepdaughter & served six months’ probation here in Pa. I ended up with the man who would eventually end up being my fourth husband; he would become verbally, emotionally, & mentally abusive only after we got married. I got pregnant with my daughter while I was homeless in Nashville, TN. I tried working on my second marriage for years while he was in the army, & although we moved to some nice places & met a lot of nice people, we couldn’t get the marriage to work; with him, “there was always the other woman lurking around the corner”. It was in my second marriage that my in-laws introduced me to the Jesus I now know & love. However, with my upbringing, I couldn’t, at the time, get my head & my heart to connect and understand Jesus the way I needed to. In my third marriage, I thought it started off well in Alabama, but there was always manipulation & when we moved to Florida, the sexual abuse started. I became an alcoholic to deal with all the evil he was putting he was putting us through. Even though I didn’t realize that until after the many years of denial, when I was going through Alcohol withdrawals in Jail. After being arrested & spending four months in Jail for lying to the police because I was afraid of men & what they would do to me & due to my disabilities, back issues, depression, anxiety, bipolar & PTSD & inability to properly take care of myself & my children, at the advisement of my public attorney I gave up my rights to my daughter & my son moved back in with his father my second husband. Unfortunately, I don’t know what happened to my two stepchildren from that marriage. I heard they moved in with their grandparents, but that their father still has contact with them. I moved away from Florida to Utah after being released from jail. To be with my fourth husband until things went south with him; he was also verbally, mentally & emotionally abusive. I relapsed & eventually sought out AA in Utah. Where I met a great Sponsor whom I kept in contact with until she just recently passed away. I moved into a group home while living in Utah, but couldn’t handle it there, so I moved back to Pa, where I once again relapsed & was soon up to half bottles of Vodka a day. Until on February 8th of 2021, I cried out to God for help, & He did help me to stop drinking. That’s when I really started to read & listen to my Bible daily, & I started going to a Celebrate Recovery in our area & worked the steps with my Certified Recovery Specialist, but I was still fighting with seizures & Night Terrors to the point where they even took my driver’s license away. Then GOD stepped in on Saturday, 11/19/2022. I went for help because I was still feeling oppressed by something dark & evil I felt in my chest & in my whole body, like I was carrying around a thousand-pound weight. So my best friend, my fifth & final Husband, Joel, who just happens to be my first-ever boyfriend & my first love from Plains Jr High School. Took me to a prayer meeting. Where a group of wonderful people prayed for me & I felt the Holy Spirit move through me as I asked for forgiveness & also gave forgiveness where it was needed, & then I was baptized & washed me clean in the blood of Jesus. I have never felt better, lighter, cleaner & clearer. Since 11/29/22, the night terrors & seizures also seemed to have stopped, & as of 2/8, I will be over 5 years sober. I have since received forgiveness from my eldest son, & although we don’t talk as much as I’d like to, at least I know that I have his forgiveness & I’m building a relationship with my stepdaughter from my second marriage. I’m praying that one day God will renew a relationship with all of my children. Until then, I send them my love & give all praise, honor & glory to God & to our Lord Jesus Christ; to Him be the glory, the honor & all the praise. I know I am being renewed by him every day. That I am a new creature in Christ & that Jesus works everything to completion.
3 Likes
Thank you for sharing your experience, strength, and hope @Jentitcomb3481
1 Like
Thank you so much for sharing your powerful testimony with me. Your journey through so much hardship to find healing, peace, and sobriety is truly inspiring. I am praying for you and your family, and I praise God for the incredible work He is doing in your life!
1 Like