beautiful!
Hey everyone. So I had another drink. By one, i mean a martini which has a couple shots. Definitely finding that absorbing emotions and energy from others are the main triggers. But I forgive myself. Iâm a journey with the rest of you. I really wanted it then felt more and more guilty the deeper I got into it. But it is what it is. Iâve made a lot of progress over the last 2 weeks and itâs not lost. Take care of yourselves and keep talking! I want to hear from everyone again, missing the interactionâŚ
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So⌠Iâve fallen off the wagon. I donât know how to deal at the moment. Schools have been canceled for 2 weeks and today the board of education said it will likely be for at least 8 weeks. I mean, I love my children, but 8 weeks at home with a 3, 5, and 7 yr old with no outings is going to absolute hell. I donât think I can make it sober.
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Sorry to hear that Kaitlyn⌠I canât imagine how much you go through in just 24 hours with all those little people, lol. I only have 1 and that was hard enough when he was little being a single mom all but 4 years.
Maybe you could set up a âclassroomâ at home and try to have them on some sort of scheduled class type thing. Iâm thinking out loud, lol
I have kind of. Set up a schedule, kids yoga, educational apps/activities⌠I am a teacher, just havenât worked in a few years. But they are there ALL day, will not give me a moment alone.
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My heart hurts for you. I wish I could offer some words of wisdom but Iâm not a mama and itâs not part of my experience, but I just read this on FB and thought I would share. Maybe there are some gems that could help, even just to know youâre not alone and so many moms (and dads) are going through what you are right now.
From Silo and Sage:
To the mama whose kids are suddenly home for weeks, from a homeschool mamaâŚ
I know this wasnât in your plan. Itâs inconvenient and a bit overwhelming. For some, itâs an incredible hardship.
â
So hereâs my advice, from one homeschool mom to another (temporary) one:
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You donât have to recreate school in your house. Desks and tables are never mandatory in homeschool⌠in fact, we tend to opt for sitting upside down on a couch or under a tree or even in bed.
â
Read everyday. Read to your kids, with your kids, listen to them read. Read comics and picture books and that book you loved when you were a kid. And when you need some time to yourself, turn on an audiobook - those count too.
â
Play. Play board games and card games. Play hide and seek and basketball in the driveway. Pull out the wii that is gathering dust and go bowling in your living room. Have LEGO competitions.
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Write letters to grandparents and diary entries documenting your days. Someday their kids will want to hear stories about that time they were stuck at home.
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Go on a hike. Stay up late and look at the stars. Plant a garden. Dig up worms. Draw the leaves and flowers and bugs you find.
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Make stop motion videos. Watch BBC earth movies and plan an imaginary trip. Discover a new hobby⌠or resurrect an old one. Order some yarn and learn to finger knit. Paint pictures. Bake bread. They wonât fall behind or stop learning.
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Enjoy a slow rhythm together at home⌠no early morning rushing to catch the bus, no running from activity to activity.
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Yes, you might have to guide your kids in some virtual learning. But we homeschool mamas donât hover over our kids all day long, making sure theyâre always on task. Think of this as your chance to let your kids catch up on all the recess, art, music, and gym that have been cut out of your school district. This is your chance to let your kids do the things that get them excited⌠building forts, designing robots, baking muffins. This is your chance to help them see learning as something that happens ALL DAY LONG, in everything we do. Not just in textbooks and classrooms.
â
You can do this, mama. Iâm cheering you on. 
Thank you for all your shares and the amazing response to this post!! I love that we can all support each other and cheer each other on! Everything in my shop is 15% off right now - including all my digital learning prints - to help you all have some boredom busters! The discount is automatically applies!
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Iâm starting again today. I have to get myself out of this rut.
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You got this, I know you do! Iâve seen you be so positive and helpful to others and you can use this for yourself, too. Reach out if you want some cheering on today!
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Thank you @RosaCanDo! I keep going through cycles of âI can do itâ and "this is pointless. I should give up ". But i canât give up anymore. I will not be happy with myself until I have some control over this thing.
Howâs the book? Iâm going to breeze through the first few days again.
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I actually put it down this weekend so Iâm going to pick it back up today. Iâll skim through the first parts again with you, too.
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Hey there. I so relate to that. I only drink after encunters with the world. feeeling overwhelmed, absorbing all and going home feeling like a bag of âgarbageâ that I then deal with on my own behind closed doors. dealing by drinking. so actually not dealing at all⌠it is a difficult thing to grasp for me. so it helps me learning you adress the same thing. knowing that only i can change that, even if it might be someone else at fault, some days makes me angry. No one is to blame for me picking up that drink, but then myself I feel so powerless. hang in there! a new day
wow 8 weeks⌠the world is in a strange place at the moment right? I can imagine that it makes you anxious. Is there anything I / we can do to get you out of this rut?
for me I had one of the worst pain days ever in my life yesterday. I have literally been screaming and crying from pain for hours and hours. I had not been sleeping for over 48 hours so my retional mind was crazy and emotions high anyway⌠and then the pain with it and having to deal with the first days of not being able to walk almost is⌠wel⌠pffffffâŚ
I have a few days still to return my dog to the shelter. this decision breaks my heart. but the dog responded so much to my extreme pain, afraid she will try and dominate me and that is no good for her training. So I am a bit heatbroken. this morning put up a message on the communities facebook page hoping I find someone that wants to walk my dog and maybe be a co-parent. so far nothingâŚ;( and then having to be in isolation because I am at risk with my health and also have symptoms alredy makes me feel I am in a movie, walking around like alice in wonderland after falling down the rabit hole. My mind is confusedâŚ
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I feel for you, @Maria. I can hear and feel the pain reading your words, and hope you can find relief soon. I donât want to give you empty platitudes - Iâve lived with my father and my husband who have had periods of horrific chronic pain and sometimes those empty words do more harm than good. But I will try to hold space for you today. One thing I want to express is that it is no failing to return your dog to a shelter. It can give the dog the chance to find a home where it can thrive and find a forever home that will lead to a happy life. If the shelters there are like those here, try to find one that takes placement seriously and vets their adopters well. That can give you a sense of relief and knowledge that youâre making a good decision in the best interest of the dog. Too often people are judged for relinquishing their pets to shelters but sometimes it is the best choice for the pet, not just the person. Sending healing energy your way.
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Love this, thank you!!
Youâve got this! I missed your posts⌠We have to stick together regardless of where we are at. Those gremlins or spiderwebs creep in pretty quickly when we arent connected to others who are supportive and non judgemental. Glad to see you are back and I look forward to learning from each other!!
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https://empathplanet.com/?p=186 Heres an article about traits of empaths which is so true for meâŚ
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isnt it weird how our addicted mind works
how we guied ourselves toward our drug of choice
also how when your sober, and the oppertunities to use seem to pop up out of nowhere more often
i had to walk away twice already
as this pandemic goes on itll get tricky
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I might have found a neigbour that is willing to walk him once or twice a week. Going to give this a try from bith sides and see. might be a way. she is such a great dog. i will miss her so much . so another day of dealing with things instead of⌠so far so good. 
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Thatâs great news! 