727
2/22/26
Been wanting to post or start documenting my growing toy collection. Couldn’t find any hot wheels or recent toy threads and didn’t want to bombard the pic of random objects in home thread so I figured my thread would actually be perfect.
I’ve never really ever grown up as far as my imagination and the way I see the world. Sometimes that has benefited me and sometimes held me back. In my addiction I would occasionally buy something from the toy isle but it would be sold pretty quickly. But really I was looking on the toy section but not buying. I barely ever even bought food or regular life things let alone toys.
I don’t know at what point I started believing I was to old to play with toys or what but this collection honestly started with that remote control car about a year and a half ago and I would pull it out the closet and drive it around when I had a problem to solve and especially if it was late and I couldn’t get a hold of anyone on the phone. Then the tech deck finger skateboards were next followed by the hot wheels.
Some of the toys I play with but certain ones I don’t want to open and will be part of a collection I’m growing. Still need to get some hot wheels tracks for the cars I do play with. I probably spend about 30 minutes a day playing with my collection of toys. It really does help and throughout the last maybe 10 or 15 years I really have got away from physical things. Something about actually touching the cars and actually playing with them helps me. It calms me down and I almost like this hobby more now then watching tv shows at night.. I even keep some dice in my pocket at all times also a mini Pokémon action figure. I dont know. It helps.
Anyway … if anybody wants to share some of there toys or things that help them please feel free. Or like the original post says you can post or share whatever you want on here even if it’s not related.
Thanks to whoever reads this!!!
@Tito23 - you seem to have some pretty cool cars and toys as well, a lot of cool classic cars.. figured you would appreciate this or relate possibly to the hotwheels collection
Also I have a big heavy stuffed animal okra that goes in the passenger seat with me when I drive anywhere. Sometimes I look over at him and I’m like yeah this traffic is bullshit!! He doesn’t ever respond but I feel like it strangely helps to have that stuffed okra with me. I first got it as an impulse buy at target or just something was telling me to get it. Don’t regret. Actually he does talk back but mostly its just me talking to myself and telling myself to snap outta whatever it is..
My favorites are
1953 Buick skylark convertible- matchbox
The low rider truck - doesn’t say year or make?
67 Camaro
Lamborghini Sian
Blue Maserati
Edit: This is almost all of my collection but have some stuff at my work station…
Also still working on my sonic the hedge hog lego set. It’s been really hard for me to complete these and my head gets tangled up along with my emotions but little by little I’m getting it done. The more I do things that challenge my brain especially if there is instructions involved the more I will be able to do that with maybe more complex projects down the line. Throughout my life I have only done things that come easy to me but in the last 2 years that is changing..
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This is so beautiful. Thanks for sharing.
It certainly sounds like you’re allowing yourself the privilege of healing your inner wounded child as well. That’s really powerful! Do what heals you. Play with them all. Love them all. And absolutely post more pictures with your Orca friend! Be silly. Hide him in the background of places or make it look like he just told a really funny joke. This is so wonderful for you. I’m happy for you. Keep rewarding yourself, not only for your sobriety, but also for having the courage to face a new day. Sometimes just waking up and showering deserves a reward!
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733
2/28/26
The Raccoon has always been one of my favorite animals and all throughout my life I have got excited whenever I see one in the wild.
I started putting food out for any stray cats about 2 months ago but I didn’t even think about other animals. Currently I have Raccoon’s, and possums coming to eat this food every night but I have seen a lot of other animals as well. Mostly small non threatening animals. But this buddy whose photo I’m going to put below is the one that consistently comes here for food and water now. At first he was really skidish and scared of me and little by little he is chilling out.. if that’s good or bad I’m not sure. He comes anywhere between 8 pm and 12am. He will slide the bowl closer to him if any other animal try’s to get some and also push them away and even seen him fighting the others. He always plays with the water but also cleans his hands afterwards and makes a mess. Every morning I come out and there is water everywhere and little paw prints. It actually makes me feel good to be trying to help this raccoon out. Especially with the summer months approaching I will make sure he has cold water along with any other animals that want water. Im glad to be in a position to be able to buy food but since I thought I was feeding cats and turns out I’m feeding everything but cats I’m not sure if there is a better food to get then cat food for the raccoon’s and other small wild life? I guess at this point I’m committed to putting food and water out there every night. A couple days ago I even put a pork chop out that I cut up. I just think animals are very important and this might sound messed up but I think they are more important then humans. We should do what we can to help them. It doesn’t mean I forget its a wild animal. I’m not about to pick him up and pet him but I will do what I can to make his life just that much better. Only thing now is to name him? Hopefully this raccoon lives a long and pretty cool life.
Ps: maybe I feel for the raccoon’s because they can never let there guard down, nocturnal, skidish and scared of humans. And they probably feel like outcasts. Me 2
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Love what you’re doing for these innocent creatures, and I share the same sentiment- animals are definitely more important than humans and we should do everything we can to protect and help them! As for a name, Rex the Raccoon? Take care my friend! 
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772
4/8/26
7:45pm
I don’t know what I want to do my my life and that is a great problem to have. I’m interested in so many things and topics. Most of my sobriety so far has been basics. Learning how to live without drugs and alcohol and honestly getting through probation. Staying Free. I made it through probation and along the way learned so many tools for life and dealing with everything. 19 months of that very stressful probation.. But it made me grow and it helped me get to the point of liking routine and structure. I’ve learned how to maintain employment. Now that I have paid off all my debts , obligagtions, fees, fines, restitutions it feels like I can actually put some money into myself. ( school) I have this battle inside of me where part of me want’s to go to college and get a degree. Then the other part just wants to work basic jobs the rest of my life and go home and do my hobbies and then wake up and repeat. I feel like I really don’t need much to be happy and I feel like I escaped death and prison so really not that much bothers me anymore. I don’t feel afraid. I’m not saying I don’t have anxiety.. But there’s this battle and sometimes I wonder if I need to push myself to do the further education. I just don’t know where to begin and I’m interested in so many things and can never make my mind up. For a while I thought I wanted to go to school for something like finance or business but I’m not sure. With the way the internet is these days and YouTube its almost like I can learn anything on my own. Sometimes I feel like I’m fooling myself with these college talks because it reality all I care about is music, film and art and I know deep down I will work on my music, writings, art and whatever else in private and work these dead end jobs , have a basic life and be totaly ok with it because like I said I escaped death and prison .. Dozens of times. Maybe something could happen with the music and writings or maybe not.. but its a inner battle because would school help me and can I do it? Where do I begin when I can’t even do long Division , can’t even do basic times tables let alone algebra, Cant spell no matter how hard I try. I know I had a learning disability in school and was in Special classes but was never told what the problem actually was. And up untill recently didn’t realize this problem not only effected school but all of my life so far.. but it can’t be a way to get out of pushing myself or trying something hard!!! I just don’t know what I would do?? I love everything and I’m always watching documentaries about just about everything there is.. Like I said in the beginning .. this is a great problem to have.. I’m so grateful to be sitting here in my room in this comfortable house , drinking coffee and doing some journaling after a great day off from work. I played basketball , helped clean the yard up after a storm, worked on my garden, and relaxed.. Remember when you were sitting in jail completely lost and thinking that your life was over!!
If I end up a life time janitor or I end up becoming a buisness man with a lambo for me all the matters is that I stay sober, stay out of jail, do my sports, hobbies , writing , and music and contribute to the world and be a good example to the next.. I feel like deep down thats what matters and I’m doing that.. But I also need to continue to push myself and not settle.
So glad to be here..
Thank God
PS: If I won the lottery I would open up a little mom and pop grocery store. I would have so much pride in that store and there would never be a single piece of trash on the ground outside. Thats a little dream of mine and to know my customers and just carry the basics and a few special things or cool products. With my 20 years of retail experience I probably could do it and hire all my friends and good people to help me. I know that is a thought experiment you hear sometimes like what would you do if money didn’t matter.
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Trevor my sponsor would say keep moving forward and pray about your future. You are doing terrific. You can do anything you want. There are no limits. Quite envious I am . You really did get a brand new fresh start. I struggle to keep what I could have lost from being a drunken sod. It is a bit stressful more than it has to be for me. Sobriety is the most important component for you and me no matter what direction we want to go.
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Thanks for sharing.
I find myself still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.
I relate so much to everything you wrote.
Time flies.. Follow your dreams.
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I just love this post and your happiness and contentment. It is kind of amazing having so many options after having so few for so long. Your post gives me hope for my brother when he gets out too. And reminds me of many of the things he shares about his future. Wishing you all the best on your journey. Thank you for sharing.
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I wish I had not gone to school. It’s no longer about higher education. It’s a money making racket. Buy books the professors wrote, regurgitate information as quickly as possible for the next exam and move on. The biggest lie is “invest in yourself and go to school”. Bull…shit. Most of us will die with student loan debt.
Go to trade school.
They’re more affordable and always in demand.
I was an incredibly overeducated janitor, but I loved it! I love to clean and got paid for it. 
I don’t want you to get into a lifelong prison sentence (which is student debt) because it’s super stressful.
Invest in yourself in the ways you’ve already described: through your art, music, and other interests. Although, as soon as they become an income, some of the joy is zapped out of them.
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