Thank you for sharing this! Interesting and probably not a coincidence that it’s hit my radar in this moment, as I sit here confused and a little upset, as once again I have a feeling of guilt, sadness and frustration because of my parents. This 
resonates with me a lot. I need to let go, as I cannot please everybody, especially ppl who do not value or think about things the way I do. I just have to do what honors and feels right to my soul. I cannot let the beliefs of others control me. It doesn’t feel good and leads me to poor decisions. I set myself free! : )
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Also very fitting right now! As I have procrastinated too long this past few days and now it’s time to honour and use wisely the time I have to catch up on my study and get my assignments done! : ) thanks again Ariel
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I don’t believe in coincidences anymore - there is always meaning behind hearing the message one needs to hear when one needs to hear it. For me, it means I really need to listen and take note of the message. I’m glad these are resonating! 
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Taking Care of Ourselves on the Job
It’s okay to take care of ourselves on the job. It is not only okay, it is necessary.
Taking care of ourselves on the job means we deal with feelings appropriately; we take responsibility for ourselves. We detach, when detachment is called for. We set boundaries, when we need to do that.
We negotiate conflicts; we try to separate our issues from the other person’s issues, and we don’t expect perfection from ourselves or others.
We let go of our need to control that which we cannot control. Instead, we strive for peace and manageability, owning our power to be who we are and to take care of ourselves.
We do not tolerate abuse, nor do we abuse or mistreat anyone else. We work at letting go of our fear and developing appropriate confidence. We try to learn from our mistakes, but we forgive ourselves when we make them.
We try to not set ourselves up by taking jobs that couldn’t possibly work out, or jobs that aren’t right for us. If we find ourselves in one of those circumstances, we address the issue responsibly.
We figure out what our responsibilities are, and we generally stick to those, unless another agreement is made. We leave room for great days, and not-so-great days.
We are gentle and loving with people whenever possible, but we are assertive and firm when that is called for. We accept our strengths and build on them. We accept our weaknesses and limitations, including the limitations of our power.
We strive to stop trying to control and change what is not our business to change. We focus on what is our responsibility and what we can change.
We set reasonable goals. We take ourselves into account. We strive for balance.
Sometimes, we give ourselves a good gripe session to let it all out, but we do that appropriately, in a way meant to take care of ourselves and release our feelings, not to sabotage ourselves. We strive to avoid malicious gossip and other self-defeating behaviors.
We avoid competition, strive for cooperation and a loving spirit. We understand that we may like some people we work with and dislike others, but strive to find harmony and balance with everyone. We do not deny how we feel about a certain person, but we strive to maintain good working relationships wherever possible.
When we don’t know, we say we don’t know. When we need help, we ask for it directly. When panic sets in, we address the panic as a separate issue and try not to let our work and behavior be controlled by panic.
We strive to take responsible care of ourselves by appropriately asking for what we need at work, while not neglecting ourselves.
If we are part of a team, we strive for healthy teamwork as an opportunity to learn how to work in cooperation with others.
If something gets or feels crazy, if we find ourselves working with a person who is addicted or has some kind of dysfunction that is troublesome, we do not make ourselves crazier by denying the problem. We accept it and strive in peace to figure out what we need to do to take care of ourselves.
We let go of our need to be martyrs or rescuers at work. We know we do not have to stay in situations that make us miserable. Instead of sabotaging a system or ourselves, we plan a positive solution, understanding we need to take responsibility for ourselves along the way.
We remove ourselves as victims, and we work at believing we deserve the best. We practice acceptance, gratitude, and faith.
One day at a time, we strive to enjoy what is good, solve the problems that are ours to solve, and give the gift of ourselves at work.
Today, I will pay attention to what recovery behaviors I could practice that would improve my work life. I will take care of myself on the job. God, help me let go of my need to be victimized by work. Help me be open to all the good stuff that is available to me through work.
Quoted from the app Language of Letting Go.
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I really appreciate this definition. I’m all over myself for not doing things “now” or “already”, basically going after the extreme rather than the pragmatic. Often “now” is when the time is right, but when my focus is on “now” rather than “the appropriate time”, I am reinforcing the wrong ideals.
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Owning Our Energy
Learn to keep your energy inside.
—Women, Sex, and Addiction
Charlotte Davis Kasl, Ph.D.
For many reasons, we may have mastered the art of giving away our energy. We may have learned it when we were young because the feelings we had were too overwhelming to feel, and we did not know how to process them.
Much of our obsessing, our intense focus on others, is done to facilitate this “out-of-body” experience we call codependency.
We obsess, we babble, we become anxious. We try to control, caretake, and fuss over others. Our energy spills out of us on to whomever.
Our energy is our energy. Our feelings, thoughts, issues, love, sexuality; our mental, physical, spiritual, sexual, creative, and emotional energy is ours.
We can learn to have healthy boundaries—healthy parameters—around ourselves and our energy. We can learn to keep our energy within ourselves and deal with our issues.
If we are trying to escape from our body, if our energy is spilling out of us in unhealthy ways, we can ask ourselves what is going on, what is hurting us, what we are avoiding, what we need to face, what we need to deal with.
Then, we can do that. We can come back home to live—in ourselves.
Today, I will keep my energy in my body. I will stay focused and within my boundaries. God, help me let go of my need to escape myself. Help me face my issues so I am comfortable living in my body.
Quoted from the app Language of Letting Go.
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Bossy
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I need this app in my life
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Word Power
I know I’m controlling, but so is my husband. Possibly more controlling than I am. Each time I set out to leave him, each time I started to walk away, he knew exactly what to say to pull me back in. And he knew I’d respond. He knew how to say exactly what I needed to hear to keep me where he wanted me. He knew what he was doing, and he knew what I would do. I know, because after we began recovering, he told me so.
—Anonymous
Some of us are so vulnerable to words.
A well-timed “I love you.” A chosen moment for “I’m sorry.” An excuse delivered in the right tone of voice. A pat on the head. A dozen roses. A kiss. A greeting card. A few words that promise love that has yet to be delivered can spin us into denial. Sometimes, it can keep us denying that we are being lied to, mistreated, or abused.
There are those who deliberately set out to sway us, to control and manipulate us through cheap talk! They know, they fully understand our vulnerability to a few well-timed words! Break through your naiveté. They know what they’re doing. They understand their impact on us!
We do not have to give such power to words, even though the words may be just what we want and need to hear, even though they sound so good, even though the words seem to stop the pain.
Sooner or later, we will come to realize that if behavior doesn’t match a person’s words, we are allowing ourselves to be controlled, manipulated, deceived. Sooner or later, we will come to realize that talk is cheap, unless the person’s behavior matches it.
We can come to demand congruency in the behavior and the words of those around us. We can learn to not be manipulated, or swayed, by cheap talk.
We cannot control what others do, but we can choose our own behaviors and our own course of action. We do not have to let cheap, well-timed talk control us—even if the words we hear are exactly what we want to hear to stop our pain.
Today, I will let go of my vulnerability to words. God, help me trust myself to know the truth, even when I am being deceived. Help me cherish those relationships where there is congruity. Help me believe I deserve congruity and truth in the behavior and the words of those I care about.
Quoted from the app Language of Letting Go.
The Good in Step Ten
Step Ten says: “Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.” It does not suggest that we ignore what is right in our life. It says we continue to take a personal inventory and keep a focus on ourselves.
When we take an inventory, we will want to look for many things. We can search out feelings that need our attention. We can look for low self-esteem creeping back in. We can look for old ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving. We can look for mistakes that need correcting.
But a critical part of our inventory can focus on what we’re doing right and on all that is good around us.
Part of our codependency is an obsessive focus on what’s wrong and what we might be doing wrong—real or imagined. In recovery we’re learning to focus on what’s right.
Look fearlessly, with a loving, positive eye. What did you do right today? Did you behave differently today than you would have a year ago? Did you reach out to someone and allow yourself to be vulnerable? You can compliment yourself for that.
Did you have a bad day but dealt effectively with it? Did you practice gratitude or acceptance? Did you take a risk, own your power, or set a boundary? Did you take responsibility for yourself in a way that you might not have before?
Did you take time for prayer or meditation? Did you trust God? Did you let someone do something for you?
Even on our worst days, we can find one thing we did right. We can find something to feel hopeful about. We can find something to look forward to. We can focus realistically on visions of what can be.
God, help me let go of my need to stay immersed in negativity. I can change the energy in myself and my environment from negative to positive. I will affirm the good until it sinks in and feels real. I will also strive to find one quality that I like about someone else who’s important to me, and I will take the risk of telling him or her that.
Quoted from the app Language of Letting Go.
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This really speaks to me. My need for approval has manifested itself in ways that have been detrimental to me and my person. When I was in my late teens and through my 20’s I would try to change myself for the person I was with. Some changes were actually beneficial for me in the long run, but these changes did not result in that relationship surviving. Because I wasn’t being myself, my self confidence took a nose dive. I became a shell of who I really am to get approval. To this day, I still have trouble saying exactly how I feel about something because I become fearful that the relationship (work, romantic, friendship, etc) has been hanging by a thread and if I don’t keep up appearances and be a peace maker them it will all fall apart and I will wind up alone. I’m working with a group and going through a book called Breaking the Cycle of Hurtful Relationships. Once I am assigned a mentor to start working the 12 steps, I’ll start working those and start to really find the healing that I need to find myself again.
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Love this!! Thank you for sharing 
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Today’s reading…
Times of Reprogramming
Recovery is not all tiresome, unrewarded work. There are times of joy and rest, times when we comfortably practice what we have learned. There are times of change, times when we struggle to learn something new or overcome a particular problem.
These are the times when what we’ve been practicing in recovery begins to show in our life. These times of change are intense, but purposeful.
There are also times when, at a deep level, we are being “reprogrammed.” We start letting go of beliefs and behaviors. We may feel frightened or confused during these times. Our old behaviors or patterns may not have worked for us, but they were comfortable and familiar.
During these times we may feel vulnerable, lonely, and needy—like we are on a journey without a road map or a flashlight, and we feel as if no one has traveled this ground before.
We may not understand what is being worked out in us. We may not know where or if we are being led.
We are being led. We are not alone. Our Higher Power is working His finest and best to bring true change in us. Others have traveled this road too. We will be led to someone who can help us, someone who can provide the markers we need.
We are being prepared for receiving as much joy and love as our heart can hold.
Recovery is a healing process. We can trust it, even when we don’t understand it. We are right where we need to be in this process; we’re going through exactly what we need to experience. And where we’re going is better than any place we’ve been.
Today, God, help me believe that the changes I’m going through are for the good. Help me believe that the road I’m traveling will lead to a place of light, love, and joy.
Quoted from the app Language of Letting Go.
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It’s like you post these for me 
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I’m glad you find then helpful! Codeprndency is for realz.
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