Thank you. Me also
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Take care Jenn. Do what you need to do - it’s the right thing 
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I slept from when I got off yesterday until today. I feel terrible and have no energy. I’m also a huge baby when it comes to being sick. I worked long enough to get the morning prescriptions done and help with the refills. I didn’t make it much longer. My body really did need that break it was asking for. I hope to feel better tomorrow because I miss exercise and I dislike sleeping this much because I always feel like I need to be doing something and when I’m sick and sleeping things don’t get done. Ie: housework or my exercises.
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It sucks being down sick like this. You’re right, take the rest; I know it sucks not being able to do what you want to do - but the sooner you get to the rest, the sooner you can get back to business. 
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Feeling better today. Not 100% but a strong 85% 
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Yay Jenn!
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The past few days I’ve been down, not depressed, but physically down and out. Well, what the last week or so. I’ve made mention but I think it’s time to add a important piece to my thread: HAE- hereditary angioedema.
I wish it wasn’t an important part of me but it is. I was diagnosed at 1 & 1/2 yrs old. So my dad tells me. It comes from his side of the family. My dad and both his sisters have it but their episodes didn’t start until their 20s. I don’t talk about it because people always treat me with more care I suppose and while I appreciate the thought I’ve dealt with this a long time so I know my body. I know how far I can push it Science- I’m missing or have an improper amount of c1 factor in my blood. What happens is that when my body is under stress it swells. Mental stress or physical, mostly physical.
Most of the time I have small episodes and I take my steroid and move on with life. Sometimes I have life stopping episodes. That’s where I have been for 3 days.
Thursday I went to work and was feeling good. So good I did some housework when I got off. Not much just some dishes and laundry. About 6 that night my wrist felt odd. The feeling is hard to explain. My joints become stiff and then comes the rash and edema. I doubled my steroid and took some Benadryl (it kinda helps. No cure just treat the issue) woke up and my right hand was halfway swollen, my left knee was swollen into my calf, both bottoms of my feet. I went to work. Within hours I was worse. My whole body was hurting. It physically hurt to sit and type. At this point I knew I had to basically stop life. I let my boss know I needed to leave as soon as I could and luckily I was able to within the hour. Over the past few days I’ve been on a merry go round of steroids,Benadryl, sleeping and ice packs. It’s Sunday morning and I still have some swelling left in the meaty area but my joints are finally not stiff and I’ll take my steroid today but not Benadryl and hopefully be on the full mend tomorrow.
I’ve been here a little over a year and this is the first full stop episode I have had. When I was growing up I remember being in the hospital all the time. My intestines and stomach would actually swell. It was terrible.
Just thought I’d share. Sorry for it being so long
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Oh man Jenn that sucks. To just have your body shut down like that. That really sucks.
I will not treat you with any more care:
I will also not treat you with less care. I will treat you with exactly the same level of care.
Care can be scary sometimes, because it sorta feels like being seen for your condition and not for your self. I am this way with my diabetes. It bugs me sometimes when people get worried about my blood sugar level. I understand they’re coming from a place of care but also I know my body, and I’ve been diabetic most of my life. I know how I’m doing.
Glad to hear things are looking up. Sometimes you just need that time. I’m glad you were able to find it
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I watched that Wild movie. It was good except I felt like she was poorly prepared and I don’t want that to be me. If it takes me years then so be it lol rather take longer and be prepared.
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Her being poorly prepared probably has more to do with them needing drama for a full movie. If she’d been well prepared it woulda been steady & safe - which is exactly what you want your trip to be.
Wishing you an un-movielike trip on the trail
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Today was a good day minus the hubs not wanting to spend time with me 
I went for my run then decided to mow the yard because I was tired of waiting for it to get done. It looks much better but I still need to get some weeds pulled. I just didn’t want to push my body to far after that episode. Chilled at the house for a bit then decided to go around town. Not for anything particular, just bored. So I went to Walmart and the nutrition store and tried to get signed up for a library card. It’s an ordeal because I haven’t gotten a New Mexico license yet. I just have to take them proof of address. Then I went to our outdoor store. Looked at camping/backpacking stuff. Didn’t get anything today but it was exciting looking. I got a small notebook and it’s going to be my hiking journal. I’m going to take it with me on the trails. I took some time off in aug (just cause, no reason) and I would like to do some day trails but I feel like I need at the minimum hiking boots. I have a small backpack and I’ve done a few day trips before but I’m thinking about sand flats and it says the terrain is very rocky. After all that I took the dogs to the vet and am now finally relaxing. It was a busy day but felt good to be doing stuff and things.
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Awesome day! It’s nice to have those days where we check things off our to do list 
Good for you Jenn!
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Decent day minus the head butt with the hubs. Same issue, different day- house chores. I do them all and I generally don’t complain until something I want done doesn’t get done. He doesn’t have to ask for clean clothes, dishes, bed or to have dinner cooked. I mowed the yard yesterday, not because I wanted to but because I had already asked him and waited however many days I’d been sick and it never got done. So today I try to talk to him about the weeds and help with that and it just backfired. It seems he thinks his job is work and pay bills and nothing else. It’s frustrating not to get my point across
Different subject: I started my little backpacking notebook. I have a list of things I want to start investing in and a few notes about the trail I found online. I’m thinking about starting a different thread for my hiking/backpacking stuff. I’m sure I will want to post photos and things but I don’t want it to take over my personal thought thread.
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The hubs said something tonight and I don’t know how I feel about it. He said that if I’m not happy maybe I should go where I am happy and that maybe he doesn’t have the qualities I want. If we are being honest he is right to an extent. He isn’t willing to even try with my love language. I’m not a typically flower or gift girl but I haven’t gotten flowers in about 4 years and this past year he didn’t even get me anything for my birthday. I don’t feel like I can have a conversation because he is always on the defensive because “I’m never happy” He says he walks on eggs because I’m so unhappy but I don’t feel that way. I feel as if he did the few things I ask we could be so happy but I’m wondering if it’s him. For the first time in 10 years I’m wondering if I’m in the wrong place and it hurts my heart to even think this. It’s not that I’m unhappy. He makes me feel unimportant.
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That’s heartbreaking Jenn. I’m sorry to hear that. I feel for you. It’s so hard.
It sounds like your love language may be Acts of Service? (Have you taken the five love languages questionnaire?) What’s his love language?
I’m sorry to hear that he said that Jenn. That hurts; it sucks.
Mine is quality time and words of affirmation mostly or at least I thought it was. I’ve read the book. We’ve talked about it before. It’s literally the same thing and another day. Oh and let’s top it off with he just went and got his doc because he needs a relief or whatever he won’t deal with.
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Wow! Life is full of surprises
In general it sounds like you value quality time and attention. My wife is very similar. I have learned that there’s more benefit to coming home on time every day than squeezing in an extra hour or two at work. Work is always there. However facing the wife glare first thing at home is just not something I relish
This is not easy for me though; it takes conscious effort to show up and “change gears” for being present with her. And it sounds like your husband is a little stuck in place, emotionally.
To me it sounds like his words are coming from his own hurt and self-pity or self-hatred (or loss). His journey is his journey here - but your journey is about who you are and what your growth is in this space, in this situation (of which your husband is a part, but not the only thing in your life space).
Life is always, always about growth. We are in that way exactly like plants & nature. We grow. We always grow. It’s in cycles, but we definitely grow.
So… where do you grow to now, in your life space?
Maybe tonight is just about acknowledging how much that sucked. That’s ok too. What happened in your house tonight, sucked.
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It did. It sucked. As always your words are wise. I try not to take some of the things he says personal but it’s hard when I’m not even getting positive affirmation. I’m about to head to bed. Early morning for a run (since I can breathe again) then work. Thank you for your thoughts
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Take care Jenn. Sleep well
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