Hope your appointment goes as you expect… Hugs… Mentally ill person did not make it to his appointment I think, so perhaps gently remind him of that… actually that is prob just an easy way to get in a fight… He probably missed you tremendously and reacted in a weird way. I am on your side… Pups were happy to see you!! Sorry all that happened…
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Pups were very happy to see me. I only got a few hours of sleep because of the time change my body wants to get up now. I suppose because I don’t deal with depression as bad as he does I don’t get it. I’ve been depressed but I went to grief counseling because my mom passed. I suppose that’s the difference. I’m willing to help myself and it seems he isn’t. And yes we did get into a fight and I never got a hug or a kiss. I told him last night I’m thinking of moving into the guest room because I’m having a hard time with the boundary of I love you and I want the best for you and wanting to force him to do what I know he needs to get better. Or at least be able to better handle the depression.
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Depression is a b* tch. But depressed people are egotistical b*tches. I know, I am one at times.
When he says that he knows what’s going on. He can and should be working on making it better. You can’t have your cake and eat it. Or something. This is not the way it works. You’re right Jen. I’m sorry.
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It’s gonna be a long day of busy work and music I think. Music feels like an escape at the moment. A lot of times really. I’m waiting for the sun to rise. I’ve missed my desert sunrises.
I appreciate you guys by the way
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My doctors appt sucked. She won’t give me a referral to the pt for my knee because nothing is torn. She said I should just lay off working out in general…… she also said my lab work shows I’m not eating enough. Which has been something I’ve been concerned about because my food and exercise is all I can control and over the past few months I’ve noticed changes and I’m not sure they are positive. I reached out to the therapist. Left a message but no response yet. I’m sad, feel mentally exhausted and possible jet lag or maybe just the lack of sleep. I don’t want to feel. It feels like a minute by minute day and I’m trying
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That’s a hard thought. It’s hard to have that thought. It’s heavy.
Take care Jenn. Cuddle with your dogs. They are good at these times
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Heavy is a good way to explain it. They are here. Fox seems to feel my anxiety or maybe he just missed me. They haven’t left my side
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I’m going to bed. I binge watched Netflix today. I still feel sad.
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Nothing wrong with feeling sad. Can you address it with feelings of gratitude, though? See what happens?
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I hope tomorrow is a better day for you Jenn, I’m sorry to hear you struggled today. Stay strong 
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Checking in. Feeling very meh. Worked today. Going to sleep soon.
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Sorry your having a difficult time Jen im reminded of a friend of mine who when he found out he had cancer was just in a down mood, but he over came that, made it through the treatment all while staying sober and still making it just a day at time. Hang in there hope you get good rest tonight. Take it easy and hope u feel better soon.
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Checking in. Today was a good day. Worked and then my friend came over. Went and did a weigh in and I’m down to 25% Body fat. 10% down from last December so that’s exciting because I really worked on my nutrition this year. The hubs sent me flowers which he hasn’t done in about 4 years. I was very appreciative of the gesture. He says he is going to call the doctor and work on himself. I still feel guarded with my feelings about it. I just told him I hope he does. Almost back to a 30 day milestone.
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Good for you Jenn. Happy for you 
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This is great! I’m glad today was a good one 
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That is a good sign with hubs. A step in the right direction. And wow with the body transformation. Great for you. Even during difficult times you are working to better yourself. So glad you had a good day! You deserve it.
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Today was a good day. Went for a short run, cleaned the house, took a nap, worked out, went out to dinner with the hubs and hit my 30. No complaints here
Ps I found some NA meetings. I asked him so we shall see. It’s just step 1. I want to go but I’d like him to go with. He seems willing
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Wonderful Jenn. I’m glad to hear today flowed well for you. It sounds like it felt good. I’m happy to hear that Take care & keep it up
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Checking in. Decent day. Work was busy but that seems to be the norm now a days. My zoom meetings were fun. I worked out yesterday and during that workout did my first sets of regular non modified push-ups (got 5 at a time) and some chest to ground burpees. My chest is sore today!!
We didn’t make the meeting tonight. The only one I found is at 7pm and I know that doesn’t seem late but I’m normally laying down doing my check in around now and it’s 7:40 so my want to go isn’t super high because of the time. Hope everyone is well. Night 
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Night Jenn! Sleep well.
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