I’m at 47 days sober right now, and up until a week ago I was doing great. There was no doubt in my mind that this was going to be it, that I was putting the drink down for good.
For the last 7 days I’ve been struggling so terribly that I’ve made a plan everyday to drink, to give up, to escape. What I’ve been realizing is it’s not the actual drink that I want, it’s the need to escape and turn my mind off, to stop caring so much about everything. That’s what drinking did for me, it was the easiest most accessible way to check out. Truth is, I would take anything just to turn it off, to not care so much, and I’ve been having so much trouble changing this way of thinking, this need I feel but don’t want.
Can any of you relate to this? How do you deal with these nasty thoughts and cravings?
Yes. I can relate. I began my drinking career looking to escape then grief associated with the end of my first marriage, and my last relapse was my looking to escape the grief of losing my mother.
Both of these were excuses to drink. I wasn’t escaping anything. I was prolonging it. Instead of processing and working through it, I just set it down, and it was right there waiting to jump back on me, when I sobered up.
You don’t need to escape. You need to confront what is bothering you. Turn into it. Attack it. Resolve it. Destroy it. And the best way is to do it sober.
To add to what @Yoda-Stevie said so well, you need to accept it. So much in our life is out of our control, only control we have is the feelings attached to all the things that cause us grief and frustration.
Someone posted a meme that likened feelings to radio stations and I really liked that idea. There’s hundred of stations, change to one with a different tune.
Lifes gonna happen no matter what, but that is no reason to drink. Keep trudging your road to happy destiny, you’re gonna get there if you just place 1 foot in front of the other.
Yes!! I’m at day 84 and all I want to do is isolate and sleep. I totally went off the deep end yesterday and was emotional and irritable. I skipped my recovery support group and was out all day because everything was grinding my gears. I was going to quit my group because I wasn’t thinking right. Lucky for me I had quite a few people calling and texting. My counselor called several times too. I talked to several people I know in recovery and they really helped a lot. I’m so grateful for everyone that reached out to me yesterday because without them I might have said fuck it and used. My counselor is awesome and sweet when I feel like shit. She says I’m experiencing PAWS😣
Every good or bad thought will pass if given enough time.
In the beginning I used to think I could drink over feelings. I soon learned that I could not and I had a nasty relapse. I came back fully convinced that feeling good, bad, or indifferent I couldn’t drink again.
If I don’t drink tomorrow I will be coming up on two years and then I am done counting.
Sounds stupid but if you drink over problems those problems will soon have puppies and you are going to deal with those too.
So cheers to today and we will see you back tomorrow.
I can totally relate. That’s my whole problem I want to run away and can’t do that so I drink. This is my day 1 and I’m already getting the itch…its a vicious cycle. Hang in there!
Yep! I journal, play video games, read, watch my fish, draw, listen to audiobooks or podcasts. Anything to redirect my brain until I feel calmer.
I am actively working on my issues, but I also allow myself time off to engage in relaxing, enjoyable activities.
When it’s been really bad, I’ve gone on anxiety medication for a while to give me an assist with coping.
I’m only on day 17.5, but I know what you mean about the core of the issue and wanting to not care so much. I’ve always wished I could dial down my give-a-f*** meter.
Oh hell yeah I can relate to that. Story of my life for about 40 years. I escaped into crystal, into cigarettes and nicotine, into sleeping pills, sex, shopping, cocaine, alcohol, pills, pills and more pills. My life since 15 has been finding a way to avoid feelings and being in my head. Even all the acid and mushrooms never wiped out that uneasiness within…just added to my inner turmoil.
Figuring out what to do with those feelings, how to feel them, has been part of my recovery work these past few years.
A few things have worked to helped quiet my mind … knowing that feelings are all temporary, they come they go, not to attach myself to them (writings of Thicht Nhat Hanh, Pema Chodrun, etc)…taking up yin and restorative yoga (slowing down, hold poses for several minutes, almost all down on the mat) and meditation…and learning to slow down when needed and to really listen to myself and take time out/down time if needed. Other things along those lines…but finding a healthy escape …looking within not without… has helped me become more whole.
Super huge congrats on your 47. Stick with it and push thru those bad days. xox
I can relate. I have a very stressful job. I work from home but that means i am generally online early talking to my team. I would dream about sitting on the couch at the end of the day, drinking with my wife and talking about our crazy work day. Now she is upstairs drinking and i am downstairs not drinking. My mind continues to think about tasks. I tried meditation. Music helps calm mind. Playing Battlefield V on xbox really helps me forget about work lol.
I used to feel lonely about this situation and feel like i must be doing things with people.
Keep going, it really is worth it no matter how hard. I’ve been taking it Day by day and I celebrate every sober night. I hope I don’t have to do that forever, but all I need to worry about is right now, and right now I’m not drinking.
I’ve been trying so hard to put the focus back into my well-being and doing things that ground me. I find it really difficult balancing work, my kids, my house, husband and myself all at once. I know that I should put myself first because I can’t fill anyone else’s cup if mine is empty. I know this, but I still find it hard to take the time for myself to workout, do yoga, meditate, have a bath etc when there are so many other things to do, to take care of. I’m working on it though!
Thank you! I’m trying to get back into hot yoga, that was always my happy place that helped me reset. I know nothing will change unless something changes, and only I have the power to do it.
I’m sorry you’re going through that. Both my husband and I have a drinking problem, so I know how hard it is when one of us stopped and the other didn’t. Have you talked to your wife about this? Maybe she can put the drink down so you can both enjoy each others company with drinking.
Thank you to everyone who commented, it really helped. I struggled each night this week but I haven’t given up. I’m still fighting. Trying different things and seeing what works best for me. Almost at 50 days!!! My max is 62, bar my pregnancies and nursing days, and I’m determined to push through that and even farther. I don’t want to reset again.
